Girls quitting (2016's)

[marriard]

Let me say that not all high school softball programs are created equally. .

Got that right...

Last year the closest HS to me played 29 games against 20 different opponents:

Team makeups including closest HS which are a 1) category team:
1) All TB Players plus TB players in JV: 6
2) All TB players, no JV or no TB in JV: 6
3) Some TB players: 5
4) No TB players: 4

Extra stat: There were only 8 JV teams in this group. Only 2 JV teams were all TB players and they were from the high-cost sports orientated private schools.

Results were totally consistent with team make up:
- Won just over half the games against 1)
- Won 80% of the games against 2)
- Won all the games against 3) with a couple of close ones who had a TB pitcher
- Won all the games against 4) by an average of 14 runs using their JV squad. All games were run ruled and in the 7 games they only gave up two runs

 

[KCM]

At 16 the girls gain a little independence usually and run like hell if all the time since 10 has been play softball beat down their throat. We have never forced the issue with our daughter to play or not, oldest loves it and would play almost every weekend on her own and the youngest could care less. We just pulled the plug on our 16U program due to main catcher going to another team, my pitcher daughter having surgery in 2 weeks, back up pitcher going to another team and drama among the damn mommas. These 16 year olds wanted to stay together and wanted to compete more but we as coaches decided to take fall off and regroup next spring. Probably best thing to ever happen to these girls and they nor the parents understand that.

I think somewhere along the line there has to be fun while traveling to show cases not just show crack of dawn play 12 hours, sleep in dive hotel, wake up and play until you drive back home. We typically leave a day early, chill at the pool if we stay in a hotel or find something fun to do non softball day before to enjoy the mini vacation.

Also my daughter just got invited to go play in Italy with a HS Team USA....is it the best situation or give her some form of elite status???? No and heck no. Basically gives her a little national recognition, fun touring Italy playing ball, no parents for about a month and drains my pocket. But their is one key word in all of what I described "fun".

Parents and hot headed coaches drain the fun out of the sport some times. Makes it more like a chore of guilt to the child.

Here is the big shocker - there is life outside softball and chasing that 12" yellow ball does not matter for all things in life.

 

[Sparky Guy]

When you are doing this for a while, you realize almost all of the girls who say they want to play in college like the idea of playing college softball, but it is a dream, not a real goal. Once they get to a point when push comes to shove, many will choose not to pursue it. The same is true in many many sports. I think there is a certain lack of humility when players and parents say their goal is to play in college when they have no idea how much work and sacrifice it takes to achieve that goal. Not everyone can, or should. That is why it is such a great accomplishment when someone does make it! It is not a funnel where everyone eventually makes it through. It is a pyramid where only the select few make it to the top.

You are EXACTLY correct. Many players and the parents have no idea of the time commitment it takes to play at the collegiate level. What most players and families fail to realize is the playing of the games is the easy part of the college softball. It's the travel, workouts, practices, working camps, missed classes and a bunch of other off-field things that make it a real grind when playing college ball. Of the 7 freshmen in my DD's class on her college team only her and another girl were there at the end of the their senior year. The others quit. I always try to lay out the realities of it to the younger players and their parents. Most look at me like I have 3 heads.

As for the girls quitting. At 16 many of them start taking charge of their lives and what they see themselves doing with it. If they do not want to play ball there is no way you are going to make them. They have to want to do it for themselves.

I always use the pyramid analogy too when I talk to players and parents. Because when you get to the top only the best remain.

 

[marriard]

I always use the pyramid analogy too when I talk to players and parents. Because when you get to the top only the best remain.

Not based on some of the college games I have seen.

 

[YoungBuck]

Not based on some of the college games I have seen.

Exactly!

..If a girl / woman wants to play there's a place out there for them.

 

[PA SB Dad]

Not based on some of the college games I have seen.

This is precisely the lack of humility I am talking about. Just because a college team may not be that good does not mean that it is easy to get there and be on that team. It is a grind to play college athletics, even on a bad team. There are terrible Division I football programs all over the country, yet most HS football players would never make those teams. It requires real hard work, dedication, and sacrifice. Those are not just words, but deeds. Most girls playing TB don't understand the commitment, partly because they play on daddy coached teams who make it all about unicorns and rainbows. Then they get to college and realize they were not prepared for balancing the academic demands with a full-time, year around athletic commitment. For me, it is part of a larger problem with daddy coached teams that think they can keep girls together from 12U up through 18U and get those girls into college programs. Good luck with that. Most will not make it to their sophomore year continuing to play collegiate softball.

 

[JAD]

One last story. I coach a very talented young lady in girl's golf but I can't get her to believe in herself and realize just how talented she is. This is her senior year. Today, we played in the rain on a very tough course of which my players have never set eyes on. At one point, it was more storm than rain. Still, somehow this young lady scored well today. In talking to her again, I asked her if she wanted me to find a college for her to play at. I could easily do so. She told me that her goal was HS golf and that she had achieved what she set out to do. She has other dreams and ambitions after HS. I admire her and have to let that be enough even when I think about the talent she is wasting. It is not my life. She has a plan for her life!

Am I the only person who immediately thought of this???

 

[marriard]

This is precisely the lack of humility I am talking about. Just because a college team may not be that good does not mean that it is easy to get there and be on that team. It is a grind to play college athletics, even on a bad team. There are terrible Division I football programs all over the country, yet most HS football players would never make those teams. It requires real hard work, dedication, and sacrifice. Those are not just words, but deeds. Most girls playing TB don't understand the commitment, partly because they play on daddy coached teams who make it all about unicorns and rainbows. Then they get to college and realize they were not prepared for balancing the academic demands with a full-time, year around athletic commitment. For me, it is part of a larger problem with daddy coached teams that think they can keep girls together from 12U up through 18U and get those girls into college programs. Good luck with that. Most will not make it to their sophomore year continuing to play collegiate softball.

I don't believe it is a lack of humility. Just an understanding of the various levels of college and the variety of different teams out there. Yeah, competitive D1 teams are massive amounts of work and grind. Same with teams in that are competitive in all divisions. Even some non competitive teams can be massively intense. Probably most teams are like this. I was lucky to play at a competitive mid-level D1 Basketball program - it was a LOT of work and I wouldn't trade a minute of it. Hell I would LOVE the opportunity to do it again.

But there is a huge variety of teams and also teams where turning up and not working hard are still available. Where the 'tryout' day is not just a way to find bodies for practice but a way to field a team. Not something I would want for my DD or probably anyone on this board wants for their DD, but it is absolutely out there. No off season program. Maybe 2 'fall games' - sometimes not. Seen it all out there. Seen colleges that don't recruit at all... Have friend DD who is at one of these schools (well known for the academic program she is in) - she plays on their team. She turned up to a tryout day and made the team along with 5 other girls who were there. I believe she is starting at 3B. They have won 6 games in 2 years. No fall program. Practice is 3 times week. Coach is part time (at best). They are in a division that has scholarships - but they don't use them (as the college doesn't fund them).

Unsurprisingly the worst of the worst don't get a lot of air time and people don't know a lot about them. But it is still college softball.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Exactly!

..If a girl / woman wants to play there's a place out there for them.

I know what you're saying here, and I've made similar statements, but I think it's a bit misleading. It implies that college ball is just a choice, not the end result of hard work developing your talents.

You might have a girl who is good enough to play college softball, but not good enough to play on a team that she would enjoy, or one that meets her competitive, academic and geographic needs. If you just want to play somewhere, anywhere, and you've played a number of years of travel ball, then yes, there are roster spots that desperately need filling. So there isn't necessarily a good place for every girl.

I was at a D-II prospect camp recently with 80 kids. All of them would say say they wanted to play in college, but I'd bet half of them will not play beyond high school. Many won't be good enough to get the offers needed to make the continue with it.

 

[marriard]

I know what you're saying here, and I've made similar statements, but I think it's a bit misleading. It implies that college ball is just a choice, not the end result of hard work developing your talents.

You might have a girl who is good enough to play college softball, but not good enough to play on a team that she would enjoy, or one that meets her competitive, academic and geographic needs. If you just want to play somewhere, anywhere, and you've played a number of years of travel ball, then yes, there are roster spots that desperately need filling. So there isn't necessarily a good place for every girl.

I was at a D-II prospect camp recently with 80 kids. All of them would say say they wanted to play in college, but I'd bet half of them will not play beyond high school. Many won't be good enough to get the offers needed to make the continue with it.

Absolutely - if you want to play college softball and that was your #1 criteria you can. Whether it is good softball or a good team - that is a totally different story. That is where the work, the sacrifices (and the talent) come in.

As Little Angels Softball says "There is a team out there for every girl. That doesn't necessarily mean it's the team you think you should be on, but it is there, nonetheless."