What's a parent to do?

[BobInMadison]

Great kid!

 

[NorthMS]

Thanks for the update. Sounds like you have a very smart kid on your hands. Congratulations.

 

[softballphreak]

We told our girls a few days ago that I will be deployed for a period of time that includes the entirety of the next season. Our oldest (10yo) thought about it for a while and came back to us saying that she doesn't want to play if I'm not here - it would make her miss me too much as ball has always been "our thing". This is not our first deployment (but our first through the season), and she assures us she still loves the game and would definitely play if I were here.

I have always told them that I will never force them to play if they lose interest in the game - we will walk away no harm, no foul. I have also told them that I do not want them altering their schedules or routines based on the life that I chose - it is what will get them through those times and makes it pass faster. It seems like I've been caught here though, to enforce/deliver on one I feel like I have to renege on the other.

I have not told her that seeing videos and pictures of them leading life as usual helps me, knowing that all is well and they have adjusted. Makes me feel as normal as possible in that situation; but I will not tell her this. She would play then, but not for herself, and she is the only person she should play for.

So - how in the world do I handle this? I don't want her playing if it makes her unhappy to do so, but I don't want her regretting the decision to sit out. Her younger sister is still going to play, which may make her regret the decision and change her mind after it's too late to do anything about it. Obviously there is some time to deal with this, but the more time she has to get comfortable with a decision, the more committed to it she is.

Anyone have words of advice or wisdom from a similar situation?

Let her know it would make you happy if you saw video of her playing. And tell her if she doesn't want to play that's fine also. Tell her that you want video of whatever she decides to participate in and let her decide what video she wants to be in.

PS: I posted this before I read your last post. Sounds like you got the BEST answer from within!