We quit our team today

[BobInMadison]

Good advice, but not always easy to do.
I get the feeling the coaches for DD 3's old team are angry at her and me for changing teams last August. Pity, because the HC and AC are wonderful people I really like, and I appreciate what they did for DD 3 when she was on their team.
This was not jumping a team during the year, and I notified her old coaches within a few hours after we made the decision. If we somehow manage to stay in Wisconsin, DD 3 will play with their DDs in high school. Fortunately, DD 3 gets along well with their DDs.

 

[grcsftbll]

We tried hard to make this work. We communicated our issues in a nonconfrontational way. We tried to stay positive. But his decisions and the way they affected my child were not acceptable. It's not about play time. It's about so many things. I absolutely hate leaving but we haven't even had our first spring tournament yet. He didn't even make a tiny effort to get us to stay so clearly he won't miss us.

 

[BobInMadison]

He didn't even make a tiny effort to get us to stay so clearly he won't miss us.

It says something when they don't try to stop your kid from leaving. Not a good fit from either side. Time to move on.

I understand people who want to wait out the year because of a commitment. That doesn't always work. DD 1 left a team in the winter. I am still on very good terms with the coach. It wasn't a good fit for DD 1, and in that case the coaches could see it. They wanted DD 1 to leave not even though they wanted her on the team, because that was what was best for the kid.

 

[Me_and_my_big_mouth]

I absolutely hate leaving but we haven't even had our first spring tournament yet. He didn't even make a tiny effort to get us to stay so clearly he won't miss us.

Trust me, a year from now it will be a distant memory. Most softball girls are like cats - they land on their feet. Teams implode, players jump ship, but somehow they all end up playing if that's what they want to do. We overthink things as parents.

 

[Ken Krause]

Many years ago, my son was on a soccer team where the coach wasn't a good fit. Eric had always been a very good player and had a love for the game, but he wasn't enjoying being on this team at all. Didn't like the practices, didn't like the games, which were indoor at that point. The last straw was when the coach brought in some kids from the other team he coached and had them play the indoor game. Understand indoor is about equivalent to dome ball here in the north - something to do to get some game experience.

We left that team posthaste, before the spring season started. He ended up playing on a much lower-level team that summer but enjoyed it much more. This was the only team any of our kids every quit after making the commitment. The next fall he was back with a high level team where they were actually focused on developing their own players and all was right with the world.

Sometimes leaving is the right decision.

 

[quincy]

Backup, this chick can hit.

Never a bad guest player, always good.

 

[grcsftbll]

I'll tell ya what. If there was any doubt we made the right decision, it's gone. The relief is tremendous, not just in us (we have been unhappy almost from the start but SHE wasn't, so we let it go) but the kid. She told me that being on his team made her feel like she must not be a good player. That broke my heart. She IS a good player, but even if she weren't, how awful is it to have to work with a coach who makes you feel that way? On our 8U team we had some really bad players. The team was mostly rec players brand new to travel and they just had a TON to learn. But I guarantee you our coach never made them feel like they sucked. That's so sad. Some people should just not work with young kids. I finally got a good night's sleep last night which I think must be a good sign.

We have pick ups lined up for the next month. The non-hypocritical kind At least 3 teams then we can see what feels right. I'd like to settle into someplace permanent by late March.

 

[mogsoftball]

10u sure is something else that's for sure.

 

[grcsftbll]

There is definitely a whole lotta crazy going on.

 

[BobInMadison]

Some folks have gone as far to say that having adults involved in kids' games creates all the problems.

Not completely true, since kids can create enough drama on their own. The adults just have a lot more experience.