We quit our team today

[Me_and_my_big_mouth]

I've gotten a lot of contacts from coaches this morning. I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed. I was afraid to quit the team without having a plan in place, because I didn't want her to have to not play for a month. Apparently that is not a problem. There are some really great teams who are interested in her and somehow I have to pick one. I'm scared of screwing it all up. Eek!

It has been my experience, having had 2 teams blow up over the last 4 years, that you will absolutely screw up in some of your choices, because you're human and there isn't a concrete right or wrong answer. You must also remember that, as others have mentioned, running a team is a business. Coaches and parents will be on their best behavior while they are wooing you. Buyer beware. The softball world gets smaller and smaller, the older they get. If a hotshot team suddenly needs a pitcher, ask yourself why? If they're so great, why are they hustling midseason? A little recon goes a long way.

Your daughter is too young to have to stress much about finding a team. We have 2 rules about it that might help:

1. Never play on a team where coach's daughter is a pitcher, unless she's obviously a super stud and better than our dd.

2. Find a program - not just a team.

Keep in mind that your dd has many years ahead of her. When our dd's team blew, she was approached by some fantastic teams - but the next level program wasn't in place. So that told us that we'd be repeating the process all over again come August, as girls get romanced by the big programs and peel off in different directions. I don't know about your area, but around here there is some serious cherry-picking going on.

We have had so much more success in being part of a program that has a board, lots of coaching staff, excellent resources, and outlets for grievances. And the best part? Same unis, fan gear, bags, colors, etc. That stuff adds up!

Good luck! She will find a place, and it won't be perfect. And that's ok.

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[CoogansBluff]

I personally refuse to pick up kids who team jump. These kids always come with baggage.

If you refuse to pick up kids who team jump, then how do you know they always come with baggage?

I make no broad judgments about team-jumpers. Each has her own story. It's true that there are some crappy reasons to jump mid-season. But I think it's better to take them on a case-by-case basis. Most players who are changing teams are doing it for the right reasons, IMO.

 

[Me_and_my_big_mouth]

I make no broad judgments about team-jumpers. Each has her own story. It's true that there are some crappy reasons to jump mid-season. But I think it's better to take them on a case-by-case basis. Most players who are changing teams are doing it for the right reasons, IMO.

We were "team jumpers," twice actually. But it was because staying would have been rearranging chairs on a sinking ship and we knew it.

And part of our team's collapse each time was from being cherry-picked by coaches who had no problem making promises to our top girls, midseason, to entice them to jump - after they had been turned down at tryouts. Another story, I suppose, but no less a lead character in the tale.


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[JJsqueeze]

IMO you don't quit a team midseason. I personally refuse to pick up kids who team jump. These kids always come with baggage. You also mentioned you said something's on a message board to your coach. You don't want to be that parent. It will only hurt your kid in the long term. Your daughter is nine. I would be careful how many bridges you burn. IMO it sounds like this coach had enough of the drama and sat your daughter knowing this would result in you leaving.

lots of coaches say this...but then every weekend it seems I have a coach\org pres or parent in my ear trying to get one of the girls to jump to their team. The kid is 9 and her family is new to travel ball, no need for the doom and gloom about burning bridges.

GRC- Your journey does not have to match anyone's idea of what to do, you are the parent, you make the choices. I think team jumping is a parental issue if it is just the same repeated story of "DD didn't get to play SS"...there are enough crappy coaches and orgs out there that it is completely understandable if you stumble out of the gate and make some wrong team choices while you figure it all out. No one is going to pass judgment on you for changing teams when your kid is 9. that is ridiculous.

 

[JJsqueeze]

heck...in our neck of the woods we just had an HC quit on a team in another org. they are staying together but within 2 days everyone was trying to get their pitcher and SS to jump. it's a friggin circus out there and this was just 12U.

 

[BobInMadison]

I've gotten a lot of contacts from coaches this morning. I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed. I was afraid to quit the team without having a plan in place, because I didn't want her to have to not play for a month. Apparently that is not a problem. There are some really great teams who are interested in her and somehow I have to pick one. I'm scared of screwing it all up. Eek!

Which team would be the most fun?

Several things to remember:

Teams with nice coaches are more fun than teams with psycho coaches (not accusing your old coach of being a psycho, just contrasting).

Teams with good chemistry between the girls are more fun than teams with bad chemistry. That could mean old friends on the team, or just some really nice girls your DD wants to be friends with.

Teams where the girls learn a lot MIGHT be more fun. Depends on the chemistry between the coach and the kids. I've seen cases where one girl will really like a coach, but another girl will really dislike the same coach. The girl who doesn't like the coach may be on the wrong team.

Winning is more fun. I know of plenty of girls who have left softball, including my DD 1, after being on teams that kept on losing. That doesn't mean that winning is everything, just that constant losing really grinds on the girls.


Lots of girls leave softball. When DD 1 was a freshman, there were 11 freshmen who went out for softball at her HS. By her junior year, 8 girls had quit softball completely, 1 only played TB, and a set of twins were the last girls standing. Meanwhile, one time I watched part of a game where the varsity team from my kids' HS played against the varsity team from DD 3's PC's DD's team. PC's DD was pitching. PC pointed out 3 girls on his DD's team who used to pitch, but burned out and gave it up. 2 of the 3 girls even left softball for a while; one for several years. A girl on my kids' HS had also quit pitching.

 

[GoCaboNow]

Teams all over the area looking for 10U right now on coaches corner. Pitchers are always in demand but if your daughter is an 06, find her another 06 team because that is where she will get more circle time. Do not try to put her on an 05 team because chances are that she will not pitch. I would also avoid any 06 teams that have 05 pitchers and any teams where the HC has a kid that pitches.

LOL, this is exact team setup for DD, except she is 2005 on a 2004 team with HC and both AC's DD pitchers as well. She gets more than her share of innings, so far, but is always a concern.

OP, good luck! You will find your team!

 

[chinamigarden]

I've gotten a lot of contacts from coaches this morning. I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed. I was afraid to quit the team without having a plan in place, because I didn't want her to have to not play for a month. Apparently that is not a problem. There are some really great teams who are interested in her and somehow I have to pick one. I'm scared of screwing it all up. Eek!

Once word gets out that a decent pitcher is available you will get a ton of interest. Just a word of caution, some of those teams are interested in your dd as their pitcher, other teams are interested in keeping your dd from being those other teams pitcher. Make sure your dd is in their plans for extensive circle time, not just to keep a competitor org weak.

 

[grcsftbll]

Once word gets out that a decent pitcher is available you will get a ton of interest. Just a word of caution, some of those teams are interested in your dd as their pitcher, other teams are interested in keeping your dd from being those other teams pitcher. Make sure your dd is in their plans for extensive circle time, not just to keep a competitor org weak.

Yikes. Good advice.

 

[Terror Coach]

If you refuse to pick up kids who team jump, then how do you know they always come with baggage?

Experience. In my area we have very few teams. Everyone knows everyone and everyone talks. The other thing that goes on is coaches love stealing players. I have watched this go on for over a decade. I'm sure their is exceptions to the rule, but IMO coaches are playing with fire when picking up team jumpers. I also know the parents of the kids that have left my team. They weren't missed. The sad part is the kids were never a problem.

With my oldest she was on a team and I wasn't happy with how things were going. I didn't pull her. I did start watching other teams.The year ended and she switched teams. Their was no hard feelings. Six years later I'm still friends with both coaches and both have nothing but good things to say about my daughter. The coach she left actually has sent me a couple players and helped get my current team into a big organization. When parents asked him about me he told them I was a model parent and never complained about a thing.

In this case maybe they were right to quit. I don't know. My advice stands. When you have these young players and are new to travel ball be careful what you do and say.