Team falling apart

[YOCOACH]

Sparky Guy pretty much laid it out the same way I was thinking. Your DD's a pitcher that needs the max amount of circle time she can get to develop. The current team is offering reduced PT and a very limited number of tournaments. The new team is offering more PT in both the number of tournaments played as well as the number of games within those tournaments. Taking the money out of the equation, the decision should be easy considering that your current team is getting ready to fold. As Sluggers said, staying and playing for a team in it's death throes is truly a terrible experience.

 

[Me_and_my_big_mouth]

Sorry if this has been asked before. The team my DD is on looks like they will break up because the organization is going thru legal trouble! The team is still trying to have practice at local parks (they had their own field which the locks have been changed and equipment locked up) still going to tournaments ( I think the number that they do will be greatly reduced). My DD guest played for another team and they love her! This past weekend is the most she ever pitched in a tournament. Should my DD join the other team or stay with the sinking ship? If we leave the first team we are out quite a bit of money. The other team will greatly reduce our fees for the season but still it's a good amount. Just curios on people's opinions.

We had to pull DD off a team that was in death throes, and to be honest our decision to do that may well have been the final nail - but the team was not what we had been sold, and several of our best players had already jumped.

It was a costly, emotional decision at the time - but found an organization we love and wouldn't trade it or go back.

And DD isn't a "team jumper." Her experience isn't unique - and several girls on her 2nd year 14u team landed there by way of other teams that folded or weren't a good fit.

Do what feels right for you and your family, and what makes your DD happy. If the dark shadow of embezzlement isn't a reason to go elsewhere, then I don't know what is. Good luck!

 

[JAD]

Did not read all of the replies, so I apologize if this has already been addressed, but in our area you technically play for a coach, not an organization, so if the coach wants to take his/her team to another organization or become independent, they can. The only thing I can think of that would be affected would be the uniforms and organizational berths into tournaments, if any.

 

[Jquick823]

I am a very loyal person and that set my DD back her first couple of years until I understood how to navigate this crazy sport of softball a bit better. I always hear the word money and read about it on here as a limiting factor, ask around you're going to spend enough to make you forget about this year. "losing" money isn't a real way to look at it. Did your DD get better? Than that's what you paid for. If you're not happy and your DD is not happy than you need to move and not feel bad about it.

 

[JoeKC]

IMHO you and your daughter made a commitment to a team comprised of other families, not just a coach or an organization. That commitment should be your first and foremost priority. In the end, it may not be the best possible outcome for your daughter, but there is a huge life lesson about commitment, loyalty and integrity to be learned in this situation. Based on what I've read, you really don't know if the team will fold, so until you learn more/better information that would convince you the team is folding, I believe you owe it to the other players, and their families to fulfill your commitment.

That being said, there is every reason you, not your daughter, should start packing a parachute.... Talk with the coach of the team your daughter guest played for recently. Let him know you feel an obligation to ride this out a while longer, but if the team does indeed fall apart, your daughter would be interested in joining their team. At a minimum that coach will see great value in your loyalty and integrity.

Illegal behavior, or more correctly, the allegation of illegal behavior on the part of someone else does not forgive our obligation to act with integrity in life.

 

[grcsftbll]

It's tough being a loyal person when that loyalty isn't reciprocated. I can tell you that both times we've changed teams it's been a very hard decision. The first time it was because we wanted to play a higher level than our coach wanted. He was the coach we had from 6U up to 10U. Love him, still friends, we pick up with his team on occasion. The team we went to, there were a lot of red flags that we missed due to our lack of experience with travel ball. Live & learn. But we had to do what was best for our daughter. I think when a coach is behaving unethically, you are not required to remain loyal to his team. There's a lesson there, as well. Sometimes you do something difficult to stand up for what's right. Leaving a team is never easy, emotionally or practically. But I don't believe loyal at all costs no matter what is the correct course of action either.

 

[sluggers]

If your DD is serious about softball, you and her have to make decisions like this were a business.

If you were employed at a business that was going to go under in a few weeks, would you take a job at another business? Or would, you stay with the job until the company went under?

You tell your work friends, "Sorry, but I had to do this for my future. Good luck. Bye." You leave, and you never look back.

It is the same deal.

 

[BobInMadison]

If your DD is serious about softball, you and her have to make decisions like this were a business.

If you were employed at a business that was going to go under in a few weeks, would you take a job at another business? Or would, you stay with the job until the company went under?

You tell your work friends, "Sorry, but I had to do this for my future. Good luck. Bye." You leave, and you never look back.

It is the same deal.

And, I've seen this sort of thing happen in business, where people were punished for their loyalty by getting laid off from a dying company.

 

[SoCalASABlue]

Just remember that your DD bolting might actually be the cause (or the last straw, as it were) that finally breaks the team up for good. Make sure you know what this can mean and what repercussions it may have.

Last, if your DD quits and her current team somehow manages to stay together, then you might have the dreaded (and rightfully so) "team jumper" banner hung around her neck. NOBODY wants that.

Sorry - have to throw the BS flag on this - this kind of thinking is true Old Boy Network. Your responsibility and loyalty is for your family - first, foremost and always. If you care more about what Coach Whoziwahtzitz thinks about your DD leaving for another team, you have bigger issues.

I've seen many teams implode and it had nothing to do with one particular player - even a #1 pitcher - leaving for expected greener pastures. Usually the cause was new coaches being brought in that completely disrupted the flow of a team and its chemistry because "they come from XYZ organization - one of the premier blah blah blah".

 

[marriard]

(There is an embezzlement case against one of the co-owners)

When I hear the words 'owner' I immediately think it is a business making venture rather than a kids sports organizaton - which means someone is getting paid. It also means all the issues that come with running a business.

I won't let our family get involved in any team that is beholden to an individual owner or where the primary purpose of the teams is to make money for an individual. That is not what I want for my DD in youth sports.

While there is also 'boards' out of control - ideally I like the organizations that have a solid board but give teams great autonomy. Right now, our org expects us to put in volunteer hours when we host a tournament, encourage our players to help with younger teams and participate in various clinics/other events the organization runs (org offers subsidized pitching/hitting and catching instruction which is optional). We actually as a team give NO money to the board for operations - the only check we cut to the board is for city fees which they pay on our behalf. In fact, since our hosted tournaments are well run, we generally get money each season from the board to use as we see fit (incoming tournament revenue covers operational costs and any left over is split 50-50 - 50% goes to our reserve fund, 50% is split between all teams evenly).

To Original Poster:
- Set a line where you leave. At what point is the situation not savable (or have you already crossed it)?
- When you leave - be open with the coaches why. We left because the line we decided on was crossed. Don't argue, don't have a long conversation. Once you have said you are gone, go. Try not to burn bridges - at some point you are going to run into everyone again.
- Consider your DD here. If she has strong friends on the team, this can be devastating to her in the younger age groups.