PLS HELP! Thoughts on switching teams at 16U?!

[Softballmamma_08]

Hello everyone! I have been in a tough predicament this week with my DD. My DD currently playing on 16U travel team which her father coaches. She has been playing with the core girls for 4.5 years together now which have been coached by her father and another coach. This year she has felt some of the players from her current team are giving no effort on the field and at practices, just talk about wanting to go home so they can go to a party, etc. They say this is the year players start to weed out, the ones who want it and the ones who dont. My DD goal is to play in college and is hungry for that urge to excel . Team started off strong but slowly alot of the great players have left/are planning to leave. Her current team also basically is running on no pitching, 1 solid great pitcher, another "guest" pitcher who has never seen travel ball level but it was just last min pick up to help out (will not be returning). The 3rd pitcher just had knee surgery so has been out the game since HS ball and will be doing HS volleyball. There is no commitment to the sport with her or guarantee she will be able to pitch. These group of girls all have truly so much talent and are great kids but just no drive at times. Not sure if its because of end of season, lack of commitment, motivation, or just comfortable with the coaches since they been together so long, etc,

She was offered positions for 3 other organizations. 2 organizations offering her without even trying out because they have seen her play and her abilities. One organization which her HS coach coaches she subbed for and loved the energy and dynamic of the team. Something her current team is not due to most of the girls being introverts. She has not been happy on her current team for a while but she has had no choice but to play for them due to her father coaching but she makes the best of it overall. Now this year she has really expressed to us she would like to go to another team she wants something different and new.
Our fear is that she leave her current team and like the old saying goes "Grass aint greener on the other side" and this new team is not what is expected and she needs to earn her playing time/put in work. Or that she not feel welcome or comfortable like she hoped?
Or do we keep her on her current team where she will get guaranteed playing time and been with the same core girls for years, know the families and players well and do what's convenient to us and play for her fathers organization he worked hard to build for her?

DD father supports her 100% but you can tell would rather have her on his organization and he has mixed feelings. The other coach and their family of course are pretty upset at the fact we last min are making this decision at the end of the season. This was by no means pre-planned to where we jump ship midseason. Its was the end of the season and we still had our futures plans with staying with the organization but, seeing my DD and her expressing how unhappy she was really made us re-evaluate. DD father now has guilt for considering this and parents are upset over this. But like he said he will back up his DD in whatever she chooses.

Ive had so many people tell me im dumb for letting a 16 year old decide what she wants to do and I need to do what's best for our family. That im letting her get influence by her friends on the other team she wants to be apart of etc, that she is in no position to makes such a big decision for herself since teenagers act on impulse.
What's best for our family yes would be keeping her on her current team because its more convenient for practices, games and we have people who have become like family over these 4.5 years, DD father coaching but, its not what DD wants. We would basically be giving her no choice with staying on her fathers organization. Just trying to get an outsiders view of this and what would you do in my situation especially with DD father being head of organization. Really am torn between what to do. Its been sleepless nights.

 

[LEsoftballdad]

Get away now. The current group of girls doesn't have the same motivations as your daughter. I went through the same thing with my daughter, and it ended badly because she held on for one year too long.

Go to a team where she's not the best, most motivated player, and she'll get better. If you stay, the situation will only get worse.

 

[clarity]

You've already decided

 

[Orange Socks]

Sounds the coach is a real dud. LOL. In all seriousness, she needs to be on a team that gives her the best chance to get to the next level. Dad/coach has plateaued and the other players have too. They have become complacent and this will not attract better players especially at this age. At 14U I disbanded my team to give my DD the best chance and I didn't want to hold her back because of my ego. There is no perfect team, but do the long term benefits outweigh any perceived negatives?

 

[Lance Steckler]

last sentence of 2nd para. "guaranteed playing time". that statement should never happen on any team. EVER!! if players get to feeling that way, complacency is result and what you are already seeing.

Run, run fast, run far to a team that will challenge her to compete.

 

[Softballmamma_08]

Sounds the coach is a real dud. LOL. In all seriousness, she needs to be on a team that gives her the best chance to get to the next level. Dad/coach has plateaued and the other players have too. They have become complacent and this will not attract better players especially at this age. At 14U I disbanded my team to give my DD the best chance and I didn't want to hold her back because of my ego. There is no perfect team, but do the long term benefits outweigh any perceived negatives?

That's what I want to give her, that chance to grow without her father and possibly make her a better player. Def feel like its been a plateau. Its def hard when father is head of an organization.

 

[LEsoftballdad]

That's what I want to give her, that chance to grow without her father and possibly make her a better player. Def feel like its been a plateau. Its def hard when father is head of an organization.

From 17-19, I was the head of a softball organization inside a much larger baseball one. Both of my daughters played for teams inside that organization, just at different age levels. We had the best facilities in the area, from lighted turf fields to a 15,000-square-foot indoor training area that we could use without cost and the best uniforms. We didn't have the best trainers or a reputation for softball, which made it hard to attract better talent.

In January 2018, my younger daughter was at a crossroads with the team, so I moved her to another organization with a better reputation. I was the head of softball operations, with a daughter playing for a different team. When I went to the baseball GM, the head honcho of the whole facility, he told me I made the right move for my daughter. Eventually, her old team fell apart after a few months, so she was correct to want to leave. I kept my older daughter with her team because they were more talented, and she loved the girls, but I wish I had moved her simultaneously. I feel it stunted her development.

 

[RADcatchers]

Hello everyone! I have been in a tough predicament this week with my DD. My DD currently playing on 16U travel team which her father coaches. She has been playing with the core girls for 4.5 years together now which have been coached by her father and another coach. This year she has felt some of the players from her current team are giving no effort on the field and at practices, just talk about wanting to go home so they can go to a party, etc. They say this is the year players start to weed out, the ones who want it and the ones who dont. My DD goal is to play in college and is hungry for that urge to excel . Team started off strong but slowly alot of the great players have left/are planning to leave. Her current team also basically is running on no pitching, 1 solid great pitcher, another "guest" pitcher who has never seen travel ball level but it was just last min pick up to help out. The other pitcher just had knee surgery so has been out the game since HS ball and will be doing HS volleyball. There is no commitment to the sport with her or guarantee she will be able to pitch. These group of girls all have truly so much talent and are great kids but just no drive at times. Not sure if its because of end of season, lack of commitment, motivation, or just comfortable with the coached since they been together so long, etc,

She was offered positions for 3 other organizations. 2 organizations offering her without even trying out because they have seen her play and her abilities. One organization which her HS coach coaches she subbed for and loved the energy and dynamic of the team. Something her current team is not due to most of the girls being introverts. She has not been happy on her current team for a while but she has had no choice but to play for them due to her father coaching but she makes the best of it overall. Now this year she has really expressed to us she would like to go to another team she wants something different and new. Our fear is that she leave her current team and like the old saying goes "Grass aint greener on the other side" and this new team is not what is expected and she needs to earn her playing time/put in work. Or do we keep her on her current team where she will get guaranteed playing time and been with the same core girls for years and what's convenient to us and something her father has worked hard to build?

Ive had so many people tell me im dumb for letting a 16 year old decide what she wants to do and I need to do what's best for our family. That im letting her get influence by her friends on the other team etc. What's best for our family yes would be keeping her on her current team because its more convenient for practices, games and we have people who have become like family over these 4.5 years but, its not what DD wants. We would basically be giving her no choice. Just trying to get an outsiders view of this and what would you do in my situation especially with DD father being head of organization. Really am torn between what to do. Its been sleepless nights.

The things you explained and the fact that your daughter wants to apply herself are your answer.
Move on to bigger things.

What is peculiar though is that nowhere in everything you wonderfully described is feedback from her current coach/ dad.
( maybe I missed current coach dad's feedback on it)
That right there might be your individual mom dilemma. But what your daughter wants seems pretty clear.

 

[HunterMO]

You know the right decision. It's time to leave. Find an organization/team that is aligned with what your DD is wanting to achieve. The "family" team is going to fold at some point. You can't maintain a program based on the structure and lack of pitchers (as you expressed) for long. Let alone be competitive.

Put her in a place where she will be challenged and pushed in a positive way. Instill some nervous energy where she's competing for playing time. Find something where she is middle of the pack and will have to work hard to rise up. If she's truly wanting to pursue playing in college, then she'll be willing to put in the necessary work to succeed.

If your DD is not happy right now, she's not going to be happy tomorrow. Find another program where she will have opportunity to grow. I suspect you'll see a new excitement and a jump in her growth by doing so.

Lastly, do not care what others opinions of you/her are when making this decision. Block that out and focus strictly on what's best for your player.

 

[Softballmamma_08]

From 17-19, I was the head of a softball organization inside a much larger baseball one. Both of my daughters played for teams inside that organization, just at different age levels. We had the best facilities in the area, from lighted turf fields to a 15,000-square-foot indoor training area that we could use without cost and the best uniforms. We didn't have the best trainers or a reputation for softball, which made it hard to attract better talent.

In January 2018, my younger daughter was at a crossroads with the team, so I moved her to another organization with a better reputation. I was the head of softball operations, with a daughter playing for a different team. When I went to the baseball GM, the head honcho of the whole facility, he told me I made the right move for my daughter. Eventually, her old team fell apart after a few months, so she was correct to want to leave. I kept my older daughter with her team because they were more talented, and she loved the girls, but I wish I had moved her simultaneously. I feel it stunted her development.

Thank you so much for your insight. It really helps getting words of experience from other and you with this similar situation. I think this is the right move for her as player.