Should my Daughter stay playing up or play with her age/grade?

[chelo]

My daughter was asked to play 12u this year instead of playing 10u with the girls her age and grade level. She is the youngest on the team just turned 11 and the only player in fifth grade. All the other girls are full 11 or 12. She was told she was going to be a starter and did start many games in fall, but now that spring has come, she is now on the bench and not really getting much playing time. I feel that it is not benefiting her sitting the bench. She needs more playing time to sharpen her baserunning and jumps on the ball in the outfield. She fits in well with the team and the coach is awesome but I feel the coach is favoring other girls at the moment. So we will stick it out for the remainder of the summer but when the season ends, does it make sense to move her back with the younger team who will be a first year 12u team for the following season?

 

[tomorrow]

You will get various answers to what is best for your DD. To me, the best question to ask yourself "Is her current situation FUN with good coaching?" Very soon the game will get hard and the workload will go up so make sure she knows how fun the game can be. The goal should be for her to love the game.

 

[STLDuane]

We moved across the country when my DD was 11. She had the choice of playing up and being a #3-4 pitcher and #9-11 batter as the youngest kid on a great team or being the #1-2 pitcher and #5-6 batter on an 11u team that was also pretty good. We chose the latter and it was the best decision we could have made. Played for that team through her Freshman year in HS - learned a lot, played all across the country, loved the game and made a ton of memories and a few long-term friends.

11 year olds don't get much better watching other kids play. Sitting on the bench is never fun, doing it at 11 years old is a 1-way ticket to finding a different sport to play.

 

[earlg3]

Unless the coach is the GOAT and the instruction you're getting in practice is otherworldly, then pick the option that lets the 11/12 year old play more.

 

[Orange Socks]

It just boggles my mind that coaches won't find a way for kids to get at least 50% innings in a weekend. It's not that hard. Either this coach is stupid or really stupid. At this age, development>Wins. If your kid is not getting playing time deserved or underserved, you need to be considering other teams. Oh I think a conversation with the coach is warranted at this point.

 

[mmeece]

My daughter was asked to play 12u this year instead of playing 10u with the girls her age and grade level. She is the youngest on the team just turned 11 and the only player in fifth grade. All the other girls are full 11 or 12. She was told she was going to be a starter and did start many games in fall, but now that spring has come, she is now on the bench and not really getting much playing time. I feel that it is not benefiting her sitting the bench. She needs more playing time to sharpen her baserunning and jumps on the ball in the outfield. She fits in well with the team and the coach is awesome but I feel the coach is favoring other girls at the moment. So we will stick it out for the remainder of the summer but when the season ends, does it make sense to move her back with the younger team who will be a first year 12u team for the following season?

Easy answer to this one. If she isn't playing well over 50% of the time she needs to change teams. Don't finish the summer, just tell them thanks for the opportunity and move on. Forget the age or level of the team. If she isn't playing enough in games then she isn't improving as much as she should be at this age. Development is the most important factor at this point.

 

[daywalkerdad]

My daughter was asked to play 12u this year instead of playing 10u with the girls her age and grade level. She is the youngest on the team just turned 11 and the only player in fifth grade. All the other girls are full 11 or 12. She was told she was going to be a starter and did start many games in fall, but now that spring has come, she is now on the bench and not really getting much playing time. I feel that it is not benefiting her sitting the bench. She needs more playing time to sharpen her baserunning and jumps on the ball in the outfield. She fits in well with the team and the coach is awesome but I feel the coach is favoring other girls at the moment. So we will stick it out for the remainder of the summer but when the season ends, does it make sense to move her back with the younger team who will be a first year 12u team for the following season?

I guess she is technically playing up, but many 5th graders have to play 12u, so I do not think this is a huge stretch. If she is not getting playing time then you probably need to change no matter the age.
Consider finding the right team with playing time in 7th grade that is either 14u, or 12u that plays 14u a decent amount. Pitches just move more at 43’.

 

[NJZoo]

I feel like this is 2 different questions:
1) How to handle a situation where your daughter isn't getting a ton of playing time?
2) Is it worth it for a girl to play up in age?

To question 1 - I would always say that your daughter's time playing the game is limited (even at 11 years old). So, I would always prioritize field time. But, if she is happy, there is good coaching, and a path to playing time you have to take that into consideration in making the best decision for your daughter.

To question 2 - my daughter played up at 10u and 12u. If it's the right situation and she has the ability to excel on the field then there isn't an issue - although I would always choose playing on a higher level age correct team than just playing up in age. You will come into issues when the team gets to high school if they stop playing club during HS season and things like that. Also, at some point she will need to switch teams because if she is playing up the team will graduate and she will still have eligibility. I decided to rip the bandage off and have my daughter "right size" after her first 12u season and we joined a higher level age appropriate team.

With both questions there is no right and wrong answers, only what is right for your situation.

 

[softball dad 6]

Some people have already hinted at it, but the answer is where will she have fun. DD just played her last ever game last weekend. It was the end of an 18-year trek. Softball is a long journey full of ups and downs. More girls are lost due to not having fun than development or coaching ability. If she isn't having fun, it isn't worth it today, next week, or next year. Now, a tough question is what constitutes having fun. It is different for all girls and is not as simple as having bffs as teammates. I agree with the others that for most girls, playing a significant amount of time is important for both enjoyment and development.

Sent from my SM-S906U using Tapatalk

 

[CCsDad]

The above posts that ask "Is she having fun?" are on the money. That's the ultimate motivator for kids. As to the playing time, quality of play time may trump actual play time. That's a judgement call for you and your daughter to decide. Don't be afraid to respectfully talk to your daughter and then the coach if you think some tweaking would make things better.

A few years ago, my daughter was playing in 8u and she's the kind of kid that really gets into stuff. She was practicing at home alot. Always asking me to play catch etc. She's also polite and listens to adults (though not always her parents). The coach had what seemed to be favorites who always played the infield positions and played all game. My daughter was playing half of the game and was always in the outfield. Her respect for adults kept her from speaking up for herself. She noticed and was crying on the drives home from the games. Saying how unfair it was. And it wasn't just my daughter. So, I spoke to the coach and was respectful but direct. She mixed it up much more. My daughter had much more fun and is now one of the better players in the 10u league.

Communication goes a long way.