Researching players or parents

[Amy in AZ.]

I am amazed at the number of people that don't secure their Facebook page. But, most teens around here, don't use FB, anymore.

 

[WARRIORMIKE]

I am amazed at the number of people that don't secure their Facebook page. But, most teens around here, don't use FB, anymore.

Cmon dont use FB?? Whats this world of teens coming to?? LOL

Or maybe you just haven't found them yet!! LOL

 

[SCDad]

Our young players used facebook when they were 13 and 14. Now at 16 use skype or something else which is private (it seems to change every month).

They figure it out as they do not want grandma and aunt debbie (or coaches?) looking in. Sure they log on to post their accomplishments, team photos, or a beach trip. As I instruct my DD, facebook is like a resume, only put things in to make you look good.

The days of tracking my DD on public (semi-private) sites for juicy tidbits are long gone.

Parents, do teach your kids the value and harm of public (semi-private) digital media. Teach them to be discrete! And you soon realize the best source of information is at the dinner table, like the good ole days, or my favorite, her best friend who talks too much.

Our high school TEAM does have some sort of digital site which only the girls use (private). For practice, schedule updates, and team motivation. It was run by the upperclass players and do not know what it was cause I was not included. But it worked.

It was a blast when during our winning state championship run, our girls were locked into THEIR site, chatting it up about being positive, supportive, above board, being a team. While relaying messages from our opponents and rival teams "just hating" on us on public sites. I am convinced it was a key part to winning it all and staying above the fray.

 

[maksoftball]

I also agree that kids go through phases...but I also agree that it is the parent's responsibility to monitor their kids' activities. And if they are going crazy on the 'net, then the parents are oblivious (or don't care). However, it does seem like a lot of searching...usually after tryouts, kids are notified within 24 hours. Don't think that's enough time to review all the candidates and then research the ones you do like on the 'net. I would think that by 14-16-18U, players (and their parents) have a reputation and the coaches should be able to find out more about the players through word of mouth than by browsing FB or Instagram. Additionally, it might be hard to find the players if they have special usernames (especially on Instagram).

Anyhow, I have already been teaching my kids the woes of using social media. DD rarely posts about her personal life ever on FB or Instagram. Usually just "cute" pics or "cool" pics. She also uses SnapChat and that isn't static...meant to be seen once and never seen again, I think? Anyway, the one thing that I have always been surprised at is why they don't ask to see a copy of the last report card at the tryouts? It makes sense to me that being a good student is crucial for any athlete. Maybe I'm wrong but I have wondered...the schools do practice the "No pass, no play" policy...so should the travel teams...pretty crucial to have good grades if colleges are going to be looking at you. Just sayin'.

I'm babbling. Just thought I'd put in a word or two.

 

[PGSAKen]

Apparently all of this did you no good if your AC left with 4 girls. In other words your filtering process is flawed somewhere. I still think you are holding 13 and 14 year old girls to accountable for things they may not fully grasp yet and they should be given an opportunity. They aren't junior and seniors, they are 7th and 8th graders.

If the parents will not teach them right and wrong along with responsibility and loyalty then the game can. If the parents are more focused on what they want than the girls then it is cancerous.

And I have been a bad judge of parents character before.

For the record if you use facebook youll see those players you are discussing still want to play for me. I discuss cutting players if attitudes dont change and the AC quits......shows me character doesnt it.

It was parents all along and I am glad to be done with it. Making that statement further proves my point. Attitudes are cancerous and have no place on the field. I should have done more/better research to find these problems as they existed.

 

[Momo'sDad]

Cmon dont use FB?? Whats this world of teens coming to?? LOL

Or maybe you just haven't found them yet!! LOL

Once their parents began using it, Facebook became a lot less cool. Check out Instagram and Tumblr.

 

[T.J.]

I’d be a little eerie about snooping in the personal life of under-age persons. I know all the social media avenues are open to the public, but it doesn’t mean these kids are expecting their coaches, teachers and whoever else (outside of their family) are actually “interested” in checking out their personal life. Your players could lose a lot of friends and trust from their friends if they know coaches are checking up on their facebook activity. And how will a player act towards you if they find out you’re checking up on them?

And what are your criteria going to be for “unacceptable” behavior? Whatever it is, it is probably drawn from your own personal values and upbringing; which could also be questionable. Or will you have a list of rules of things you cannot do outside of the team? These are questions you need to ask yourself so you’re not in a position of comparing the outside activity between two or three kids and trying to decide who was inappropriate and subject to discipline.

If checking up FB activity is going to be a policy, then I would let every player and parent know of your intentions, and what kind of activity is open to discussion and possible discipline. Otherwise I would shy against it.

If you end up with some bad attitudes and kids with some social issues it’s up to the manager & coaching staff to create a positive and enjoyable environment for all (kids & parents alike); and an environment that could help those who need a place to possibly work it all out and help better themselves.

One last thing…if you’re going to check Facebook then you better not forget about…

Twitter
Instagram
Gaia
Formspring
MySpace
Tumbler
And probably the one most forget about…YOUTUBE! Folks and kids now have their own You-Tube pages….and it's not all pretty!

When I need to check on my kids I use the following…

Acoustic Mirrors



And of course the Rumor Mill.



One last comment...if things have been fine over the years without checking up on them....then why start now? I mean...has it really been that bad? Have some of your players really fallen off that bad and been such a detriment to the team that you can't coach and function as a softball team anymore? Probably not.

Good Luck with it all.

 

[cuzmail]

Unfortunately for the player a crazy parent can poison a team pretty quickly so coaches are understandable leary of these kids. May or may not be fair to the player but if I'm volunteering my time to coach, the less crazy parent drama the better as far as I'm concerned.

Spot on. The parents are the key to everything. Especially at the early ages.
Penalizes the kid because of their parents - maybe, but it also keeps from penalizing the other 11 kids and their parents on the team too. Weigh the good vs. the bad.

 

[Pdiddy]

Wow! So, now a coach looks on facebook to decide who gets to play? On field behavior, athletism, and desire to be the best is what should dictate who plays. Who do some of you people think you are? You are judging kids based on their parents and their friends. If you feel guilty about doing it then you know it is wrong, if you don't feel guilty, you should. Kids do dumb things, we did when we were their age. The difference is we have social media and other avenues so nothing happens without everyone knowing about it. The most perfect part about the game is that the game doesn't care who you are, who your parents are, how much money you have, or any other social/economical identifiers. It's how you play the game. Coaches can inspire at risk youths and mentor them and they should! Not turn them away because their second cousin is a friend on facebook and she has had problems. I am not saying take kids with bad attitudes or drug habits, if their on field behavior is ok let them play. If their parents cause problems you will know in a game or two and deal with it then. Don't judge a kid until they have had their opportunity. You can be the coach that helped a child, or just another person that didn't give them a fair shot.

"Who do some of you people think you are?".... that's pretty funny....sounds like you spend alot of time on FB....

 

[softballmom77]

I’d be a little eerie about snooping in the personal life of under-age persons. I know all the social media avenues are open to the public, but it doesn’t mean these kids are expecting their coaches, teachers and whoever else (outside of their family) are actually “interested” in checking out their personal life. Your players could lose a lot of friends and trust from their friends if they know coaches are checking up on their facebook activity. And how will a player act towards you if they find out you’re checking up on them?

And what are your criteria going to be for “unacceptable” behavior? Whatever it is, it is probably drawn from your own personal values and upbringing; which could also be questionable. Or will you have a list of rules of things you cannot do outside of the team? These are questions you need to ask yourself so you’re not in a position of comparing the outside activity between two or three kids and trying to decide who was inappropriate and subject to discipline.

If checking up FB activity is going to be a policy, then I would let every player and parent know of your intentions, and what kind of activity is open to discussion and possible discipline. Otherwise I would shy against it.

If you end up with some bad attitudes and kids with some social issues it’s up to the manager & coaching staff to create a positive and enjoyable environment for all (kids & parents alike); and an environment that could help those who need a place to possibly work it all out and help better themselves.

One last thing…if you’re going to check Facebook then you better not forget about…

Twitter
Instagram
Gaia
Formspring
MySpace
Tumbler
And probably the one most forget about…YOUTUBE! Folks and kids now have their own You-Tube pages….and it's not all pretty!

When I need to check on my kids I use the following…

Acoustic Mirrors

View attachment 4277

And of course the Rumor Mill.

View attachment 4278

One last comment...if things have been fine over the years without checking up on them....then why start now? I mean...has it really been that bad? Have some of your players really fallen off that bad and been such a detriment to the team that you can't coach and function as a softball team anymore? Probably not.

Good Luck with it all.

Dont forget:

Vine
Kik
Reddit
Heyku
Potluck
Foursquare
Path

Just a few off the top of my head!
Geez these kids are killing me...call somebody