Apparently all of this did you no good if your AC left with 4 girls. In other words your filtering process is flawed somewhere. I still think you are holding 13 and 14 year old girls to accountable for things they may not fully grasp yet and they should be given an opportunity. They aren't junior and seniors, they are 7th and 8th graders.
Researching players or parents
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Apparently all of this did you no good if your AC left with 4 girls. In other words your filtering process is flawed somewhere. I still think you are holding 13 and 14 year old girls to accountable for things they may not fully grasp yet and they should be given an opportunity. They aren't junior and seniors, they are 7th and 8th graders.
I disagree with judging a potential player by who her parents are or who she has as a "friend" on facebook. If the player has a bad home life, not her fault and I do understand not wanting your DD around bad influences. I just think it is unfair to the child and by excluding based on that criteria you are not giving a hand up in life but more of a push down.
Unfortunately for the player a crazy parent can poison a team pretty quickly so coaches are understandable leary of these kids. May or may not be fair to the player but if I'm volunteering my time to coach, the less crazy parent drama the better as far as I'm concerned.
The information gained while going through Facebook, or other digital media is subjective at best. Ballplayers go through "phases" especially when young and will put something stupid and not in the best light. As they get older, they quickly realize as the parents are instructing them, to use digital media as a way to promote yourself, like a resume. Older players learn to use much more "private" forms of communication for the wild and crazy stuff.
Parents and players go through a growth process as they play softball. A troublesome parent at 10U can and will become a model parent at 16U. Players who cannot control their emotions, pout, loaf, at 10U will figure it out. Once they figure out their attitude is what is holding them back, end up with a better attitude than the others at 16U.
So NO. I would not try to "screen" 10U or 12U players with Facebook. Life is about making mistakes, learning from them, and becoming better. Have the right "mindset" as a coach, be flexible and up front. If a player or parent is a problem, have a direct conversation with them about what they need to get better at. Then give them a chance to improve.
To go undercover to investigate players 10 or 12 years old speaks more about what kind of coach you are than anything. To say you do not want folks "poisoning" your team is a cop out. Softball at its core is about learning to improve the player, and behaviors in life in general. If you are not willing to take on that task with a young ball team, maybe you should reconsider why you are a coach.
Parents and players go through a growth process as they play softball. A troublesome parent at 10U can and will become a model parent at 16U. Players who cannot control their emotions, pout, loaf, at 10U will figure it out. Once they figure out their attitude is what is holding them back, end up with a better attitude than the others at 16U.
So NO. I would not try to "screen" 10U or 12U players with Facebook. Life is about making mistakes, learning from them, and becoming better. Have the right "mindset" as a coach, be flexible and up front. If a player or parent is a problem, have a direct conversation with them about what they need to get better at. Then give them a chance to improve.
To go undercover to investigate players 10 or 12 years old speaks more about what kind of coach you are than anything. To say you do not want folks "poisoning" your team is a cop out. Softball at its core is about learning to improve the player, and behaviors in life in general. If you are not willing to take on that task with a young ball team, maybe you should reconsider why you are a coach.
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- Nov 29, 2009
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Guess you've never coached before. Softball is nothing but a microcosm of our society. Most times what you get off the field is what you get on the field. The kids and families are a package deal. I've seen many a great kid lose opportunites due to the stupidity of a parent(s). If I can find out about a bad parents or bad behavior by a player I'm going to use that to make a decision about a player. I have 10-12 other families I need to worry about in the equation.
ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!
It's not about the time on the field. It's all of the other time the team spends together is where the drama and stupidity starts with the kids and the parents.
Absolutely, but not to the point it becomes a detriment to the other players on the team. The TEAM comes first.
So now we're a ways into to the season and I've used a roster spot on player/family who is turning the team into a drama series. The other player has moved on to another team.
Done that with several kids over the years. For the most part the information I received about the player/family was correct and the problems surfaced quickly. The good ones were that. Good fits for the team.
Let me put it this way. I am not a coach, but a parent.
I have been a BAD parent before, glad someone gave me a chance to improve. My daughter has had a BAD attitude, at times, when she was young. Glad a coach did not give up on her.
Some of the parents, especially of the "stars", will present themselves as the most upstanding, Facebook friendly people in the world. And they are, until their "star" gets assigned to a position they don't want, bat too low in the order, or have to sit the bench and take her turn like the others. (we know who they are, great, great players, but also must get their way !!!).
Then they go ballistic, and will destroy the team and/or leave to another team, unless "order" gets restored to their liking.
I have been a BAD parent before, glad someone gave me a chance to improve. My daughter has had a BAD attitude, at times, when she was young. Glad a coach did not give up on her.
Some of the parents, especially of the "stars", will present themselves as the most upstanding, Facebook friendly people in the world. And they are, until their "star" gets assigned to a position they don't want, bat too low in the order, or have to sit the bench and take her turn like the others. (we know who they are, great, great players, but also must get their way !!!).
Then they go ballistic, and will destroy the team and/or leave to another team, unless "order" gets restored to their liking.
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When it comes to potential players, would I check with her teachers about her classroom behavior?
Should I check with previous coaches in Rec League and inquire about how well her parents fit into the organization?
Would I want a player posting profanity, while her cover photo is her and some of her teammates wearing their softball uniforms?
How about posts criticizing her teachers, parents, or coaches ?
Or getting in an on-line battle with another classmate/future teammate about a boy?
Or find out that she although she said she missed the conditioning session because of a school function, it was actually to go to party/meet a boy/whatever?
Would I ignore a player behaving rudely to a restaurant employee while at a team meal? Then why should I condone it on-line infront of hundreds of "friends" ?
If coaching is only about how young people behave on the field then maybe I need to quit.
Should I check with previous coaches in Rec League and inquire about how well her parents fit into the organization?
Would I want a player posting profanity, while her cover photo is her and some of her teammates wearing their softball uniforms?
How about posts criticizing her teachers, parents, or coaches ?
Or getting in an on-line battle with another classmate/future teammate about a boy?
Or find out that she although she said she missed the conditioning session because of a school function, it was actually to go to party/meet a boy/whatever?
Would I ignore a player behaving rudely to a restaurant employee while at a team meal? Then why should I condone it on-line infront of hundreds of "friends" ?
If coaching is only about how young people behave on the field then maybe I need to quit.
SparkyGuy, this is exactly why you shouldn't judge people because you are dead wrong about my coaching experience. If you have ever coached kids that were "at risk" and been successful you would keep doing it. You can justify your actions with all the what ifs you want but at the end of the day, if this is truly how you see things, then you have given up on a child before you gave them a chance. If the parents turn into a problem, grow a pair and tell them how it is. My way or the highway but give the girl a chance. Coaching probably isn't your thing, try NSA, they like to snoop too.
BaldnBeautiful, coaching is much more than on the field, we agree with that. My disagreement begins when you refuse to coach a girl based on her parents or her FB friends. Let's not lose focus on what my position is. Give her the chance, if she breaks the rules then do what you need to do. Same thing with her parents. I watch closely who my DD is with and at the same time I help kids that are good kids but need authority. I don't let spend the night off with each other but I do let them play ball and try and show them how they should conduct themselves. The kids you refuse to help could be the ones that rob you one day. Can high school coaches prevent girl from making the team because of FB? Once they make the team, then they are subject to the rules, not before.
The most common problem in coaching and parents/players is who is going to get the "short stick". Lets face it, when players are young they are all "stars". To make a TEAM, some players will get what they want, and others won't. How will the players and parents react when they get the "short stick". It is never the coaches kids right?
So some behave badly. Some try to blow up the team. Coaches who coach their kid do not know the feeling. Most all the parents know exactly what it feels like. So coaches, you do not know. And blame the parents and player because they won't play right field and be happy. That is what this is all about right?
So coaches turn to facebook and whatever to try to prevent the team from drama. It cannot be the coaches fault, now can it. NOBODY is happy playing right field. Sitting the bench, and/or batting 9th. It is life, my friends, it is softball.
Eventually EVERY player will get the short stick at some point in their career. It is the ones who get it when they are younger who know the feeling, work their butts off to overcome, and LEARN how to behave the next time.
It is the COACHES kids who get the short stick later in their playing life, when Dad/Mom is not there to prop them up. And believe you me, when that "benched" coach is furiously trying to resolve in his own mind how to deal with it, the rest of the parents have a big fat grin on their face.
That being said. I love coaches, for they have taught my DD so much that I could not, and I personaly thank every one of them who have reached my DD.
So some behave badly. Some try to blow up the team. Coaches who coach their kid do not know the feeling. Most all the parents know exactly what it feels like. So coaches, you do not know. And blame the parents and player because they won't play right field and be happy. That is what this is all about right?
So coaches turn to facebook and whatever to try to prevent the team from drama. It cannot be the coaches fault, now can it. NOBODY is happy playing right field. Sitting the bench, and/or batting 9th. It is life, my friends, it is softball.
Eventually EVERY player will get the short stick at some point in their career. It is the ones who get it when they are younger who know the feeling, work their butts off to overcome, and LEARN how to behave the next time.
It is the COACHES kids who get the short stick later in their playing life, when Dad/Mom is not there to prop them up. And believe you me, when that "benched" coach is furiously trying to resolve in his own mind how to deal with it, the rest of the parents have a big fat grin on their face.
That being said. I love coaches, for they have taught my DD so much that I could not, and I personaly thank every one of them who have reached my DD.
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