Life, Sports and Failure

[vcackerman]

When a bad call goes against us and the kids start chirping, I quickly remind them - can you tell me what was the call? They will say XYZ BUT .... - I will promptly point out that the call was this and the umpire is right.

Then it's my job to point out to the umpire what they did wrong.

 

[GunnerShotgun]

A certain amount of failure can provide life lessons but to much failure can lead to the loss of love for the game.

 

[guero_gordo]

I'd be lying if I said I haven't gotten this one wrong more than once, but we had an experience with a kid who we swore was nicknamed "not your fault" because that's what mommy told her anytime something didn't go right. We ran into her on the HS field this year and unsurprisingly, she shows no improvement in any aspect of her game years later, cheated out of her chances to absorb the lesson and grow.

 

[Mylil32]

My DD is learning plenty about failure this year I tell ya!!!

 

[CoogansBluff]

Questions of the day --

Who is more likely to be upset by going 1-for-13 for a tournament - the kid or the parent?

Who is more likely to get annoyed by umpires, or to believe the coach is unfair - the kid or the parent?

And why is that?

 

[CycloneSoftball22]

Questions of the day --

Who is more likely to be upset by going 1-for-13 for a tournament - the kid or the parent?

Who is more likely to get annoyed by umpires, or to believe the coach is unfair - the kid or the parent?

And why is that?

Depending on the level of play , the player will be most annoyed about the 1 for 13.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Depending on the level of play , the player will be most annoyed about the 1 for 13.

Also depending on the parent.

The answers vary from family to family, situation to situation. I do think that parents often overreact to performance too early in a players' development, which can add artificial pressure to perform (ie, pleasing parents).

I agree w/ Sluggers' premise, but I also think that parents can make too big a deal out of success and failure when they're still young, rather than letting kids decide for themselves how they feel about their performance. Parents make judgments on how they should feel, and kids pick up on that. "You should feel proud! You won!" Or "You should feel crappy. You lost.'' Let them decide. Sometimes the needle doesn't move that much with a win or a loss, and that's fine too.

With my DD, she didn't care that much about winning/losing, performing well, all the way through 12U. She just played, had fun. Now, she's much more competitive with her team and driven for personal goals. She grew into it.

I kinda went on a tangent, but there's a point in there somewhere.

 

[Indiana]

My son said an interesting thing the other day - he is 13 and plays on a 13U TB baseball team. Their team is very good - they win most of the time. Well the other night they lost - pretty badly. From my vantage point, it just looked like one of those games that just get away from you - a bad night. Some of the parents were very distraught and worried about their kids feeling demoralized. But the next day, my DS said, "we were having fun - it was a fun game." Then he referenced his favorite sports documentary about the Fab Five from Michigan - how they said that as freshman they were going to shock the world by winning. After that stellar season, they lamented that as sophomores, they would shock the world if they lost.

Sometimes I think the pressure from parents creates an avenue to failure. Kids need to be allowed to fail - spectacularly fail, and then find their greatness, without an audience.