When is the right time to speak up....

[Strike2]

I'd love to share my DD's story but to keep it short when she was 12 years old they never let her pitch. Would tell her "we'll get ya in soon" Soon never happened. That dismissiveness built a fire in her that could never be extinguished.

Tonight her team sits at 15-1 and takes on the #1 Longhorns and she may get a shot in the circle. I can honestly say without a shred of doubt that if DD was given shots to pitch at 12's by that coach that she may never have built that desire to prove everyone wrong. She tells the young girls she works with that at 12U she was given a box of darkness and later learned that that too was a gift. Gifts come in many packages. Sometimes it takes years to see that.

And that involved a whole lotta playing time to get there. Practice only gets you so far in terms of "getting better".

 

[BT3100]

And that involved a whole lotta playing time to get there. Practice only gets you so far in terms of "getting better".

I disagree but to each his own

 

[Vertigo]

She held the longhorns to 1 hit for 3.1 innings
Proud of a 5 foot 6 inch kid that no one believed in

She did awesome! My kid was watching her on her iPad at school and said, “I love Mike White and Texas but I want Mady to do well!”

 

[BT3100]

She did awesome! My kid was watching her on her iPad at school and said, “I love Mike White and Texas but I want Mady to do well!”

Thank you!!!
I love Mike White too!!!

 

[Strike2]

I disagree but to each his own

You mean your kid got to a D1 roster, and into the circle against Texas, on the strength of practice alone? Actually getting out there during travel and school ball and getting people out in real games had nothing to do with it?

 

[BT3100]

You mean your kid got to a D1 roster, and into the circle against Texas, on the strength of practice alone? Actually getting out there during travel and school ball and getting people out in real games had nothing to do with it?

95% practice. Playing time in games is overrated by most parents. I can only go by my experience as a parent of 12 years in this sport and a coach for about 6. Parents love games... kids do too. But the real gains are made far away from competition. Games reveal the work done in practice. But people who haven't been on the journey of course know more than people who have.. just ask them..they're experts because it feels like games should matter more and in their mind that builds a winner. Sadly it doesn't.. give me live practice against my own roster over and over vs hitters who know your tendencies.. work that line up over and over.. that's how you get better. JMO

 

[CoachCeetar]

The vast majority, almost all I'd say, of 12u softball/sport players aren't using 12u as a stepping stone to play in a D1 college. They mostly just want to play softball games.

Sure, some really really love softball above and behind, but I'd wager for every one of those there are 20 that think "Well, I like basketball/marching band/girl scouts/theater a lot too, so I'll devote my energy to that where I can get to actively contribute" And then drop softball shortly after.

 

[Cannonball]

I'm looking for input from other parents and perhaps even coaches, and this post isn't related specifically to softball in our case, but most definitely can be applied to softball.

Is there a justified scenario where parents can/should speak to coaches about playing time?

A little information to help others in their responses. I realize parents are the problem so often when it comes to team dynamics and sports. It is never my intention to be the problem parent on a team, however, when your child is receiving next to zero playing time is it justified to speak up and ask the coach about their decisions as to why? I'm not talking about a parent thinking little Suzy is the best ever and she deserves to be a starter and in her prime position every game and she has to be showcased every game. I'm talking about ANY, even miniscule (seconds in this case) amount of playing time in any position, especially when the game is a blow out?

I whole heartedly believe girls should earn their spots/positions. I whole heartedly also believe that absent of the opportunity to prove yourself in real game scenarios, how can you earn your spot? In practices where girls are always placed in the same positions and some get less one on one attention, and in games the girls are always playing the same positions. There is zero opportunity to go out and produce to show coaches that as a player, you can have an impact.

I always hear "back in the day we didn't question coaches and kids needed to shut up and appreciate time on the bench." In the modern day of community politics (small town in our case) and coaches expecting to not be questioned, is this a healthy coach/parent dynamic to expect and establish?

I spoke up. My child has played the sport as long if not longer as any of the other girls on the team. She goes in and makes an impact when other girls with the right last name or connection never get benched for game-time errors. The coach disagreed with my questioning him, but to his credit, he did finally put her in and she immediately had an impact and scored for the team on several occasions. I think he hastily decided what her contributions to the team could be, but didn't want to admit he was wrong in doing so. It still however, puts a "problematic label" ton me as a parent and the child, because I advocated and spoke up for my child which is wholly unfair.

Perhaps another question should be, should at least some playing time be expected depending on the level? This was a school sport at the middle school level. Not quite the pay to play of travel sports, but some investment is still involved, especially time. Should the focus of middle school sports be to win or develop enough players that continue on to play high school sports? Can you develop players when they aren't allowed to play for entire games and they get ignored in practices?

How you will be perceived will depend upon how you move forward from this point.

How any parent intervenes for their child depends a lot on the process and intent. For example, if a parent ask to talk to a coach and compares their child to others on the team, that, for me, is a no go. I won't talk about any players on a team with other parents. I ask that a meeting be set up with the AD. In that way, I have a witness as to what is said from both sides. I have been where you are and considered my dd to be an exceptional athlete.

I have told the story before about my dd and volleyball. My dd was awarded the underclass award for volleyball her freshman year. She dressed varsity. In her sophomore year and before they had played a volleyball match, she entered the gym with the trainer who had told her she needed a covering for a strawberry on her leg. She got that strawberry from playing a weekend softball tournament. The volleyball HC went off on her and compared her to a former player who went on to star on her D-I college softball team. The "punishment" was that my dd sat on the bench for the varsity for an entire year and never played one second. She was not allowed to play on the JV. The wife and I went to every game to support her. We didn't say a word to the coach who I worked with. I was a teacher and HC at the school. My dd cried after every game but never asked if she could quit. In a lot of ways, that year made my dd stronger though, to be honest, she also learned how to hate someone. The following year, she decided to play HS golf instead for me on my golf team and was offered several scholarships for golf. In the end, it worked out.

 

[Rolling Hard]

I hate petty (vengeful) coaches.

 

[Lance Steckler]

benched for a season due to a sliding strawberry??? What the heck crap is that??