Thanks CB...Most of us went out of our way to emphasize that it's probably nothing, but should be looked at with an I open mind. And not brushed off because the guy is a friend.
kids crying wolf
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Out in Left Field, sometimes it IS just a feeling. You can't put it into words, but there's just something off about a person. After ignoring mine and almost getting sexually assaulted I've learnt to never ignore it now. Whether men like this fact or not, women by virtue of being women, have grown getting unwanted attention and develop a sense of feeling. Men do too, we all have gut instinct.
In this young girl's defense, she's given the OP concrete examples of why she is unnerved by the AC. The OP feels they're not warranted. That's fine, but he needs to make a decision now the ultimatum has been given.
One of my current coaches is never left alone with the juniors in my team (most of my team are adults) We have no concrete reasons but the man has no concept of personal space. I know he creeps out one of the juniors, he creeps me out as well. But he is a nice guy, if not misguided and not conforming to social norms. We minimize the risk by keeping an eye on the girls, and he is none the wiser.
In this young girl's defense, she's given the OP concrete examples of why she is unnerved by the AC. The OP feels they're not warranted. That's fine, but he needs to make a decision now the ultimatum has been given.
One of my current coaches is never left alone with the juniors in my team (most of my team are adults) We have no concrete reasons but the man has no concept of personal space. I know he creeps out one of the juniors, he creeps me out as well. But he is a nice guy, if not misguided and not conforming to social norms. We minimize the risk by keeping an eye on the girls, and he is none the wiser.
Fear, intuition and instinct are within everyone. Some choose to ignore those feelings but the fact is that we would not have long survived as a species without them.
- Jun 22, 2008
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Yeah, radar and gut feelings work well. Ask some American Muslims how they feel about that? While you are at it, how about every Catholic priest's feelings about perceptions of others? And I'm sure those who survived the WWII internment camps can buy into the radar theory. After all, if they were Oriental, they had to be the enemy. And how about all the folks out there dismissed because of someone's gay-dar? Yeah, there is a reliable source upon which to base one's actions.
The cowardly part is how so many people are willing to believe the bad in something and then buffer it with, "well, it shouldn't be swept under the rug because he is a friend" garbage. I guess that if CJ has a gut feeling that his friend is a good guy on the short end of a vindictive child isn't good enough for some because obviously, their gut feeling is more powerful than his.
Anyone other than NVfishing witness the demise of an individual falsely accused? I've had a couple in my area, one was a acquaintance, the others were locals with whom I had no personal ties. Lives ruined, loss of jobs, family, life savings, one shunned by his church and the most that can ever be recovered is a "sorry" and a two sentence blurb acknowledging the "error" in the publication that provided front-page condemnation. No one seems to have a problem ripping into the accused, and those who speak up for the person are afforded equal disdain for protecting someone that "everyone knows" is bad.
And all in the name of doing what was best for the child? You want to do what is best for the child, be a full-time parent and see everything with your eyes and brain as much as you do with your heart.
I would love to see Will McAvoy & McKenzie MacHale do a piece on this subject.
The cowardly part is how so many people are willing to believe the bad in something and then buffer it with, "well, it shouldn't be swept under the rug because he is a friend" garbage. I guess that if CJ has a gut feeling that his friend is a good guy on the short end of a vindictive child isn't good enough for some because obviously, their gut feeling is more powerful than his.
Anyone other than NVfishing witness the demise of an individual falsely accused? I've had a couple in my area, one was a acquaintance, the others were locals with whom I had no personal ties. Lives ruined, loss of jobs, family, life savings, one shunned by his church and the most that can ever be recovered is a "sorry" and a two sentence blurb acknowledging the "error" in the publication that provided front-page condemnation. No one seems to have a problem ripping into the accused, and those who speak up for the person are afforded equal disdain for protecting someone that "everyone knows" is bad.
And all in the name of doing what was best for the child? You want to do what is best for the child, be a full-time parent and see everything with your eyes and brain as much as you do with your heart.
I would love to see Will McAvoy & McKenzie MacHale do a piece on this subject.
Oh the joys of being a coach.
Hindsight being 20/20, I'd say this is where this situation went really bad for all involved:
IMOP, Someone should have taken a walk right there. Either the player has legitimate concerns, and the AC needs to go, or if her parents feel she has legitimate concerns, and you as the HC dont see it that way, they as her parents truly concerned about her well being should have pulled her from the situation. If her concerns were not legit, as HC you cant tolerate a player dictating who they will or will not listen to on the coaching staff.
What does this AC think of the situation? I too have seen a persons reputation and career ruined because of false accusations. By the time the person making the accusations admitted they had made it all up, the damage was done, PERMANANTLY. If I was in his shoes, there would be no way I would leave myself in this situation with so much to lose, just to be a softball coach. It really is a ridicoulous situation, but these are the times we live in.
Again, its really easy to sit here outside of the situation, after the fact, and say what should have been done. I'm sorry you're in it, and wouldnt wish it on anyone, but it seems like a serious enough deal that it has to be dealt with quickly and properly, to protect ALL parties involved.
Good Luck!
Hindsight being 20/20, I'd say this is where this situation went really bad for all involved:
IMOP, Someone should have taken a walk right there. Either the player has legitimate concerns, and the AC needs to go, or if her parents feel she has legitimate concerns, and you as the HC dont see it that way, they as her parents truly concerned about her well being should have pulled her from the situation. If her concerns were not legit, as HC you cant tolerate a player dictating who they will or will not listen to on the coaching staff.
What does this AC think of the situation? I too have seen a persons reputation and career ruined because of false accusations. By the time the person making the accusations admitted they had made it all up, the damage was done, PERMANANTLY. If I was in his shoes, there would be no way I would leave myself in this situation with so much to lose, just to be a softball coach. It really is a ridicoulous situation, but these are the times we live in.
Again, its really easy to sit here outside of the situation, after the fact, and say what should have been done. I'm sorry you're in it, and wouldnt wish it on anyone, but it seems like a serious enough deal that it has to be dealt with quickly and properly, to protect ALL parties involved.
Good Luck!
And by the same token MTR how many people grew up with someone who had been a used? Who had a funny feeling about someone who was ignored? Just like not all accusations are true, not all accusations are false.
I honestly think the best thing for all parties is the girls to find a new team and the AC not being AC anymore. The girls are poisoning the team but the AC should be protecting himself. Fair? Of course not. But better to be away from a dangerous situation than to risk everything.
The girls need to go because if they are allowed to present ultimatums the team is done
I spoke with my AC very openly and candid about what what was said about him... his eyes welled up and then he got angry. He is extremely hurt by this. I titled this thread crying wolf because that is truly the case here. I don't believe that there actually is a gut feeling... I think that this is a fabricated story just to get her way.
Meeting with all the parents to discuss this is tomorrow at 2:00. I'll fill you all in afterwards.
Meeting with all the parents to discuss this is tomorrow at 2:00. I'll fill you all in afterwards.
- Apr 1, 2010
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I agree with this, 2 DD Coach, I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone. Sometimes I'm amazed that anyone still steps up and offers to be a coach. My sincere thanks to you coaches out there!
- Jun 22, 2008
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At least three of which I am aware including a young girl (in the mid-60's) who had an issue with a priest. She was part of a class action which won a suit against the Catholic church. Thing is the supposed action took place on a trip at which I was present and none of the other 35 students saw anything that supposedly happened. No one really knows as the priest died by the time the accusation was raised, so no one really knows if it happened. I knew the priest well and there was never any indication of any type of misconduct would or did occur.
It isn't just this thread, but almost every time there is a negative post about an individual, people come out of the woodwork to immediately condemn others and anyone who questions an accusation.
