My friend's husband was a really nice guy. Very friendly. Very likable. A christian man who was very involved in the church and youth activities. Turned out he had been sexually abusing his daughter since the age of 6 until she was 17 and the truth came out. Live in a small community so whole community was shocked. Before this came out, I saw him at a store with his daughter and my creep radar went off. I thought it was weird because I knew him. Nice guy, right? Never will I dismiss my creep radar again. The girls complaints need to be explored further. May be nothing to them but they should not be dismissed.
kids crying wolf
- Thread starter coach james
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I too agree this needs to be handled ASAP.............with care. Maybe women have creep radar, hope I never find out. lol
I'll add this though. I'm a friendly guy, one of the friendliest you'll ever meet, but I'm also from the south with a deep heritage of manners and chivalry. I open doors for ladies, tip my hat to them ( if I wear one ), say "good morning" "how are you", if a girl/lady has her arms full ( grocery store etc ) I'll ask if they need help. I hug my players and they hug me whenever we see each other out ( I've been with them a loooooong time ), I shake a mans hand, lightly shake a woman's hand in a greeting. This is how we were raised down here.
^^^^^^^ Now with that said, I have had occasions when I do my normal thing with/for people from the north and they look at me.......odd. Sometimes cultural differences can seem............strange, especially to young people who have never seen different.
I'm not saying all, but when we go up north I always think "these are the rudest people on the planet". I'm just not used to that fast paced lifestyle. HAHA
Maybe this guy is a creep, maybe not. Maybe he is overly friendly and the young girl is not used to that.
I'll add this though. I'm a friendly guy, one of the friendliest you'll ever meet, but I'm also from the south with a deep heritage of manners and chivalry. I open doors for ladies, tip my hat to them ( if I wear one ), say "good morning" "how are you", if a girl/lady has her arms full ( grocery store etc ) I'll ask if they need help. I hug my players and they hug me whenever we see each other out ( I've been with them a loooooong time ), I shake a mans hand, lightly shake a woman's hand in a greeting. This is how we were raised down here.
^^^^^^^ Now with that said, I have had occasions when I do my normal thing with/for people from the north and they look at me.......odd. Sometimes cultural differences can seem............strange, especially to young people who have never seen different.
I'm not saying all, but when we go up north I always think "these are the rudest people on the planet". I'm just not used to that fast paced lifestyle. HAHA
Maybe this guy is a creep, maybe not. Maybe he is overly friendly and the young girl is not used to that.
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- Jun 22, 2008
- 3,438
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What a cowardly country the US has become.
With all the posts, especially since it is obvious that people have shown they are more than willing to jump on a "creep" bandwagon without taking anything other than "radar" as proof. CJ only has one option. Without telling anyone anything, just shutdown the team and walk away. When people ask why, simple tell them to go ask the girls who offered the ultimatum.
That is the only "safe" way in this "the worst is always right" society.
With all the posts, especially since it is obvious that people have shown they are more than willing to jump on a "creep" bandwagon without taking anything other than "radar" as proof. CJ only has one option. Without telling anyone anything, just shutdown the team and walk away. When people ask why, simple tell them to go ask the girls who offered the ultimatum.
That is the only "safe" way in this "the worst is always right" society.
The kid who started all this has a mom who was sexually abused by her cousin for years as a kid, and is now understandably heavily protective of her kids. However, this guy has done absolutely nothing wrong. She just decided on the first day he showed up that she didn't like him and told me she had no intention of taking his instruction. I talked to her about it then and thought it was over, but she insisted she didn't like him for unknown reasons, I decided that because her reasoning wasn't worth further action, I dropped it. So fast forward a couple weeks, we're at practice and during a quick water break he walks over and says hi to a high school player who isn't allowed to participate during the hs season. He gives her a quick pat on the back, says hi and moves on to another kid. Now this girl says he leaned way over her back in her face and invaded her personal space etc...( I saw the encounter and it isn't true at all the way she tells it) now all of a sudden her focus has shifted from "I don't like him" to... " He really creeps me out, and I don't feel comfortable around him" I believe this is an attempt to play on her moms emotional past to get her mom on board with her.
I have scheduled a meeting with the parents and him to iron this all out, I'm honestly leaning towards dropping this one kid, she was actively trying to get a few others on board with her, but I believe they will stay. If she's gonna just start trouble, she can do it on another team.
I have scheduled a meeting with the parents and him to iron this all out, I'm honestly leaning towards dropping this one kid, she was actively trying to get a few others on board with her, but I believe they will stay. If she's gonna just start trouble, she can do it on another team.
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I have a friend that was a photographer. He worked for a company that did school photos. At one of the schools just prior to taking a photo he walked over and straightened a girls hold chain out so it looked good for the pic. The teacher and class were all in the room. That girl accused him of touching her inappropriately. By the next school day ten girls in her class did the same thing. Then more from other classes. My friend spent over 100,000$ in legal fees over a period of a couple of years. He passed multiple polygraph tests and still they kept trying to prosecute. Not until some girls recanted did they drop charges. Be careful this could ruin an innocent persons life.
- Jul 26, 2010
- 3,553
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Never pick a coach who has kids on the team, especially 2 kids.
The rest of the stuff has no bearing on your decision.
-W
The rest of the stuff has no bearing on your decision.
-W
Coach James while you may be right you may also be wrong.
I would get the parents of the girls involved and explain to them that while you find the guy trustworthy the girls have given an ultimatum that its either them or the coach. As you find the allegations without merit you put the girls comfort above everything else so you will gladly let the girls leave the team.
Are the parents of the girls aware of the ultimatum?
I would get the parents of the girls involved and explain to them that while you find the guy trustworthy the girls have given an ultimatum that its either them or the coach. As you find the allegations without merit you put the girls comfort above everything else so you will gladly let the girls leave the team.
Are the parents of the girls aware of the ultimatum?
I don't see one example of a poster who is saying that the assistant coach is a creep. I'm just reading several posters who are saying that kids' accusations of creepiness, to the point that multiple girls might be willing to leave the team over it, should be taken seriously and with an open mind. The 'cowardly' response would be to give full benefit of the doubt to the assistant just because nothing has been seen and because he's a friend and Christian w/ 3 kids of his own. (Not saying that CJ is doing that, but just making a point.)
- Apr 26, 2012
- 32
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If this has spread to the entire team then you
1) need to address the team without his daughters present
2) need to address all your parents not just hers
3) keep in mind that whatever your decision is, it will affect your coaching ability in the future. Do you want to lose your girls, your parents, and possibly the respect of your community.
4) sit down and explain to your friend that the team is greater then 1 or 2 players.
You must do what is right.... The name on the front of the jersey is more important than the one on the back.
1) need to address the team without his daughters present
2) need to address all your parents not just hers
3) keep in mind that whatever your decision is, it will affect your coaching ability in the future. Do you want to lose your girls, your parents, and possibly the respect of your community.
4) sit down and explain to your friend that the team is greater then 1 or 2 players.
You must do what is right.... The name on the front of the jersey is more important than the one on the back.
