Defining young players' goals for them

[Momo'sDad]

I don't want to get off onto my favorite subject to debate here, but the disconnect between why some coaches are coaching and why most kids are playing ruins the game for a lot of girls. Best advice to coaches: Put effort into understanding why kids play and what they want, and serve them.

Many of us who are fortunate to have the opportunity to be the parents of talented athletes begin giving our children their goals very early in life. When we introduce sports to them, some of us will pigeonhole a child relatively early, while others of us will allow the child to explore different sports, but regardless, there are many parents who have the expectation that the child will want to COMPETE and to compete at a very high level, however we may define it.

Take softball as an example. How does a 9yo have any idea what ASA Nationals are without a parent/coach telling them? A child may be born loving to be outside and may naturally love to throw and hit a little ball, but there's no inherent knowledge about and certainly no interest in pursuing these things we call championships. Sure, winning feels great to us, even when we're very little (getting the cookie before the other kid, etc), but I'd venture a guess that less than 1% of t-ball players are thinking of winning Nationals in 6 years with zero prompting from a parent/coach.

But the same is true for so many other things as well outside of sports. I know all things are relative, but it's common for parents to want their children to achieve the things that the parents tell them about.

For better or worse, we often guide their discoveries....and thus, their goals.