Coach said...but Parents said...

[Strike2]

You start with "I noticed you teaching Susie (insert concern here) when she was taught to do it this way and she's kind of uncomfortable doing it your way".

No, the parents have no role or say in strategy and I say that as a parent.

Is it "strategy", or individual technique? An example of "strategy" is where to go with the ball in a given situation, over which the coach absolutely has the final word. If it's individual pitching or hitting technique, there might be room for discussion. A good coach doesn't demand a player change a clearly effective individual technique, even if it's not what they would have taught.

 

[fuzzy2651]

If it's individual pitching or hitting technique, there might be room for discussion. A good coach doesn't demand a player change a clearly effective individual technique, even if it's not what they would have taught.

This I absolutely agree with, and if that is occurring, then you explain to the coach her hitting instructor is teaching X or whatever. Our coach is in regular contact and knows most, if not all, hitting coaches/instructors in the area and knows what they teach and how. Unless it's some glaring flaw, then he'll only make minor tweaks or suggestions.

 

[djcarter1966]

I think if it has to do with game tactics, strategies etc. that is 100% the coaches lane; if I think it's something really obvious that could be fixed I might talk to the coach but I would always let them explain first because they might have a good reason; but this is coach dependent if I don't have a good relationship with coach I'm just letting it go or might mention it to another parent that does have a good relationship with coach and let them bring it up..

If it is the mechanics of hitting, pitching or fielding as the coach I'm speaking up if you are not producing because that is hurting the team and if you don't improve as a player you will see more time on the bench. If you are producing 90% of the time I'm just leaving you alone but i think you could be better, I'll probably talk with you and a parent after practice; it's also incumbent on me to know if you have outside coaching, I don't have any problem talking to your pitching or hitting coach about where you are and what you are working on.

 

[bmakj]

if DD is getting outside individual instruction (which she does for hitting and catching, although with her other activities, not as much as we would like), I will tell coach or tell her to tell coach that "coach X has her/mne doing this". Otherwise, the only instruction I give her is to listen to the coaches!

example is a couple of coaches have wanted her to discard helmet in situations, we (DD, DW, and me) prefer her to keep it on except for towering fly balls short or foul. coaches generally do not have a problem with it.

PS, I will when she is at the plate tell her to watch the ball hit the bat (if she is pulling her head out), or to drive through the ball (if like right now she is hitting a lot of GB), but that is about it.

 

[radness]

Part of the reason i posted this question is

Notice some parents will continually disagree with the coach.
Week after week.
Ongoing next month and so forth.
Kid maybe doing fine.
Yet parent seems to complain/disagree/point out things.
( parent may do this seemingly as pleasant as possible, yet still ?)

Why do these people stay if only to complain?

Then it falls TO the coach who is in a situation recognizing
" good kid, lousy parent"

When is confronting the coach...
enough is enough?

Imo perhaps from coach.
1st- Listen, chat, explain.
2nd- Listen, chat, add description reminder of coaches role.
warning/put foot down.
3rd- Listen, respond this team may not be a good fit for you.

For parent
1. How many times are you going to complain/disagree trying to fix a coach you picked to be on a team with?
2.
3.
4.
5.........>

For discussion

 

[Cannonball]

Isn't it good that I am gentler and kinder now? First let me say that I don't understand some of the policies of the schools your dd's attend. At the two schools I taught at for the majority of my career, if you don't win, you're fired. At my last school, I was given a year to turn a program around.

I don't believe in change for change sake. So, if a hitter or pitcher is doing well, I leave them alone. However, when they don't do well, I'm going to coach them. I've stated on this site many times that I am not a babysitter or supervisor. When I jump in and instruct, if your dd doesn't do what I need to be done, I'll will play another who will. It is that simple. I know so many of you have spent so much money on your expert. I'll be kind and say that a vast majority of those "experts" don't know ... See how kind I am. For me, hitting is something that I study continuously. When you tell me what your expert says, I just might make some statements that you won't like. For example, does that expert make out the lineup? I just might ask how many times this expert gets to games. I see every HS game of my players. I am in a heck of a lot of practices. These practices are intense.

I am reminded of a young man I coached in baseball back in the day who had a great arm. His dad had him on a program and he was taking "phone lessons" where this guru would talk to him about what he was doing but without video. When it became apparent that this young man couldn't hit the side of a barn, I stepped in. Of course dad and player were outraged. I asked the young man my first rule of pitching which is, "A pitcher who doesn't have control doesn't have anything." This came to a boil one day when the young man, listening to dad, went back to the old stuff his expert was teaching. After he hit his third hitter in BP, he made his ungraceful exit from the program.

While I hope I have not made too many enemies with this post and with you keeping in mind that I am attempting to be gentle and kind, I'll wrap this up by saying that experts are a dime a dozen. To be sure, there are great and good ones out there. Still, and in my humble opinion, for a lot of their students, those student represent dollars. If that were not true, then why do they string instruction out for so long? This post is my opinion and keep in mind that I am an ex expert.

 

[Jdaddy]

Just some advice from our experience. During our freshman parent meeting with DD’s college coach, we were informed that all outside private lessons were over. Coach stated that her job security was based on her success and she and her staff were solely responsible for the players’ performance. I had no problem with it at all, but you could see some couples look at each other like “What?”

Go ahead and get accustomed to not having a say in coaching decisions. Make the best decision you can for your DD to get better. If she’s taking private lessons, this should be discussed BEFORE you accept a spot on a team. If coach says outside lessons are fine, there shouldn’t be an issue. If a coach wants it done their way only, go on to the next tryout. Remember your family is trying out a team as much as the team is trying it your DD. Once you accept a spot, your kid should be theirs for the season/year you’ve committed to, outside of an abusive coach or situation.

 

[radness]

Isn't it good that I am gentler and kinder now? First let me say that I don't understand some of the policies of the schools your dd's attend. At the two schools I taught at for the majority of my career, if you don't win, you're fired. At my last school, I was given a year to turn a program around.

I don't believe in change for change sake. So, if a hitter or pitcher is doing well, I leave them alone. However, when they don't do well, I'm going to coach them. I've stated on this site many times that I am not a babysitter or supervisor. When I jump in and instruct, if your dd doesn't do what I need to be done, I'll will play another who will. It is that simple. I know so many of you have spent so much money on your expert. I'll be kind and say that a vast majority of those "experts" don't know ... See how kind I am. For me, hitting is something that I study continuously. When you tell me what your expert says, I just might make some statements that you won't like. For example, does that expert make out the lineup? I just might ask how many times this expert gets to games. I see every HS game of my players. I am in a heck of a lot of practices. These practices are intense.

I am reminded of a young man I coached in baseball back in the day who had a great arm. His dad had him on a program and he was taking "phone lessons" where this guru would talk to him about what he was doing but without video. When it became apparent that this young man couldn't hit the side of a barn, I stepped in. Of course dad and player were outraged. I asked the young man my first rule of pitching which is, "A pitcher who doesn't have control doesn't have anything." This came to a boil one day when the young man, listening to dad, went back to the old stuff his expert was teaching. After he hit his third hitter in BP, he made his ungraceful exit from the program.

While I hope I have not made too many enemies with this post and with you keeping in mind that I am attempting to be gentle and kind, I'll wrap this up by saying that experts are a dime a dozen. To be sure, there are great and good ones out there. Still, and in my humble opinion, for a lot of their students, those student represent dollars. If that were not true, then why do they string instruction out for so long? This post is my opinion and keep in mind that I am an ex expert.

Good read!
To all readers & Cannonball...
( like the screen name/nickname)
Can anyone take on this 'Cannonball's opinion based' structure
perhaps what if everyone did, parents & other coaches?!!
Hmmmmm?
Just sayin'

Jdaddy like the input toward college level experience!!

 

[uncdrew]

Part of the reason i posted this question is

Notice some parents will continually disagree with the coach.
Week after week.
Ongoing next month and so forth.
Kid maybe doing fine.
Yet parent seems to complain/disagree/point out things.
( parent may do this seemingly as pleasant as possible, yet still ?)

Why do these people stay if only to complain?

Then it falls TO the coach who is in a situation recognizing
" good kid, lousy parent"

When is confronting the coach...
enough is enough?

Imo perhaps from coach.
1st- Listen, chat, explain.
2nd- Listen, chat, add description reminder of coaches role.
warning/put foot down.
3rd- Listen, respond this team may not be a good fit for you.

For parent
1. How many times are you going to complain/disagree trying to fix a coach you picked to be on a team with?
2.
3.
4.
5.........>

For discussion

You could have the best coach in the world and the parents will still nit-pick and second guess just about every move. It's their job - they take it seriously.

 

[uncdrew]

we were informed that all outside private lessons were over.

I would expect no less.

Not like the private hitting coach is coming to college with her.