The coaches daughter

[uncdrew]

interesting anecdote:

DD1 was not always the best player on our team through our 7 years......she was the most consistent, usually top 3-4 BA, that didn't change in big game or game against weak team.....just consistent......but other players at times were 'better'

she went to a different org......was on a very good team, not the best, but I wasn't coaching

of the girls on my last 16u roster, though, 5 went on to college......DD1 had the best first year, and was the best player on her summer team last year (a team of half commits/half girls that had finished freshman year)

her coach and i had a long talk during DD2's recruiting trip......on girls from the northeast vs girls from warm climates, on girls from good regional teams vs national level teams

her take: girls from national teams/warm weather climates are safer......you know what you're getting, they are fr closer to a 'finished product', they've been there/done that.....but their upside, on the average, is not as high

girls from good regional teams/cold weather climates (she used the northeast, because that's where we are)......IF they come into school and get to work, tend to have higher upsides/steeper learning curves, with their ability to balance college life and put the work in being a key factor.......because of that she often looks for coaches kids/team captains because she's found many of them exhibit those qualities that she's looking for to see that big jump when they get to her

It is interesting. Some broad strokes of course, but interesting. I'm not quite getting how colder climate girls balance college life better though.

My DD1 is currently being recruited for Equestrian. They love, love, love that her mom is a horse trainer. Similar story, but magnified. They know it means she does all the extras and just knows horses better than a girl dropped at a barn for her weekly lesson.

 

[Nuwin]

I'm not quite getting how colder climate girls balance college life better though.

I'm speculating here, but it might be due to having a forced offseason as the viability of playing all year is less. We have to find other things to do. Another sport, another interest, etc.

Is your identity that you're just a softball player? Or a person who likes softball a lot? If we could play all year, it might be easier to fall into that trap? And then be the athlete who doesn't know what to do with themselves when playing is over.

Still just a guess though.

 

[tim_s]

It is interesting. Some broad strokes of course, but interesting. I'm not quite getting how colder climate girls balance college life better though.

My DD1 is currently being recruited for Equestrian. They love, love, love that her mom is a horse trainer. Similar story, but magnified. They know it means she does all the extras and just knows horses better than a girl dropped at a barn for her weekly lesson.

i don't think it was that they do balance college life better, but if they can, and if they have good work ethic, they have greater upside......her take was that coach kids/captains tend to have that work ethic (vs the ability to balance)



always broad brushes.......i think in their business, it's a lot of broad brush.......

 

[RADcatcher]

I'm speculating here, but it might be due to

Variances in social attitudes.

Still just a guess though.

 

[daywalkerdad]

I would gage coaches daughter being an issue by how obvious who is the coaches daughter.

I am more interested in how they handle pool, is it equal opportunity or playing the best. How do they handle a 1 for 10 slump, bad pitching fielding outing.

 

[Nuwin]

I would gage coaches daughter being an issue by how obvious who is the coaches daughter.

You mean the brat who has a hard time making the switch in the parking lot that it's not mom or dad anymore, just coach?

It can be just as frustrating for the parent coach too. I gained a longer leash by at least acknowledging it's a problem to the other parents. We all seem to struggle with something that our kids will or won't do. It can suck and derail teams for sure even if they are productive on the field.

 

[tim_s]

You mean the brat who has a hard time making the switch in the parking lot that it's not mom or dad anymore, just coach?

It can be just as frustrating for the parent coach too. I gained a longer leash by at least acknowledging it's a problem to the other parents. We all seem to struggle with something that our kids will or won't do. It can suck and derail teams for sure even if they are productive on the field.

the conversation with DD2, then 7 playing on my 10u team, telling her that she CANNOT call me dad at practice brought some tears, that's for sure

 

[CoachCeetar]

Coach's DD being undeniably of the best players on the team keeps the parent's favoritism mumblings out of play.

This shouldn't even enter into the discussion. Maybe if the other players are mumbling it, but parents? nah, screw them. Especially at the volunteer or partial volunteer level. They can step up or shut up.

If the coach's kid is the best player, that can be it's own red flag. are they ignoring the rest of the team? Is there a higher level they should be coaching on? Are they holding their own kid back when maybe they should be on the next level? Is the kid just a natural athlete and the coach has no idea how to coach?

 

[Nuwin]

the conversation with DD2, then 7 playing on my 10u team, telling her that she CANNOT call me dad at practice brought some tears, that's for sure

I thought I was being clever by having her call me by my first name like the rest of the girls.

What a weird distraction that turned out to be. The other girls were flabbergasted at the thought of calling their parent by their first name. So they didn't necessarily perceive me as just coach either as they see me in other contexts of life too. Live and learn I guess.

We also had our kids call us by name in crowds. There could be 50 dads in this crowd and kids with similar enough voices that they sound the same with a lot of background noise. We're just weird I guess. She had already done it, so it wasn't a shock to ask her to do it there too.

 

[RADcatcher]

I thought I was being clever by having her call me by my first name like the rest of the girls.

What a weird distraction that turned out to be. The other girls were flabbergasted at the thought of calling their parent by their first name.

that's a fun story

So they didn't necessarily perceive me as just coach either as they see me in other contexts of life too. Live and learn I guess.

We also had our kids call us by name in crowds. There could be 50 dads in this crowd and kids with similar enough voices that they sound the same with a lot of background noise. We're just weird I guess. She had already done it, so it wasn't a shock to ask her to do it there too.