- Aug 6, 2013
- 392
- 63
Long time lurker that has posted a couple of times but mostly I just love to read and gain all the knowledge I can from all of the the great minds on this site. I really love getting on and learning new things and, more importantly, being able to laugh about this wonderful (and sometime very frustrating) sport my daughter loves to play.
My dd is 10 (March '05). She played on a 10U team last season and that team moved up to 12U this fall because of some older girls on the team she was on had to move up. There is a mix of girls between 6th, 5th (biggest majority) and even a 4th grader on the team.
Background....I am pretty non-confrontational, mostly because I am very emotional - hey, I can admit my faults. If there is an issue that bothers me I tend to get flustered when I try to discuss it and naturally start to cry. It is not something I am proud of and that is why I mostly just don't engage in discussions about potentially tough topics. It causes me some stress at times and Lime-a-ritas are consumed to take the edge off until I can just let go of my issue and move on. I think my dd has inherited some of my meekness. She is pretty quiet and just the sweetest, kindest girl (most of the time - however hormones are taking over at time and I get the brunt of that).
DD works hard - she is a pitcher and has worked her way into a solid #2 spot on her team. She switches in outfield with other girls when she isn't pitching. She is not happy with this situation and therefore I am not happy. She is fine being #2 - the #1 pitcher is super fast and we understand that the coaches love that about the #1 girl. #1 can strike girls out, however, if a team is hitting they can hit bombs off of her. My dd is a contact pitcher. She has (by far) the lowest pitch count per inning of all pitchers, the lowest walked batters, no hit batters, and just a slightly higher ERA than #1, but my daughter is not as fast as #1. My dd uses a lot of spin and therefore the teams that hit off her rarely get balls past the infield. (FYI - I am an admin for the teams Gamechanger so I have access to the stats to know this info). Again, we understand that she is #2. The #3 is also a good pitcher and probably is still a little faster than my dd, however, she has control issues and a super high ERA with lots of hit batters. If #3 can get her control (nerves) in check then both she and my daughter would be in a battle for #2 I think. (My dd has not lost any game that she has started).
The big issue is dd is not happy with being in outfield when not pitching. My dd is a bigger girl - and she also happens to be the slowest girl on the team (fact). What really upsets her the most is that at the end of summer (before tryouts) we were basically told that when she wasn't pitching they wanted to develop her into a first baseman - however the coach did a cya by also saying "no promises". Then the team held tryouts and recruited a girl that was a first baseman (very tall girl, also slow so not outfield potential either). My daughter has been unhappy so she went to the coach recently and asked if she would get a chance to practice at infield and the coach told her, we have a lot of infielders right now and we need you to play outfield. They don't even let her practice any infield work. Now my dd doesn't want to say anything again since she was shut down like that. She sits the bench switching with other outfielders during the games when she is not pitching and she hates it. When I try to have her work on pop-fly's during our personal practice together (we practice any night the team is not practicing) she gets upset because she is terrible at judging the balls and really can't get to them very fast. My husband and I both sit in the stands praying no balls will come to her during games and I am thinking she is praying the same thing. The one ball that was hit to left during the game was right on the fair line so of course by the time my dd got to it runs had scored (just as predicted because she is slow). I know at this point since the team has an infield (although some girls make crazy bad errors), that if dd doesn't play outfield she will be sitting the bench which frankly is a crappy option for a girl of her talent - and I don't believe any 10 year old should be sitting the bench all the time.
There were other issues during the tournament that I also have thoughts about - like during our 3rd pool game the #3 pitcher started and was pitching. We were winning 6-0 but then the other team found their bats and were hitting off her and she started to get a little erratic and the next thing you know the score is 6-4. The PC for the team went out and switched #3 with #1 and she finished the game and we won 6-4. Now fast forward to bracket game. #1 started (dd warmed up too) and the game was very close. Last inning home team (not us) gets up to bat down by 2 runs. The first girl up hits a single. 2nd girl up is walked. Then another girl is up and now bases are loaded. My question is why leave #1 in when the other team obviously has a bead on her pitches and are making good contact? #1 had very few strike outs that game in fact. This is where another of my problems lies, the coaches only rely on #1 and somehow don't this dd and the other pitcher can come in and do their jobs - am I wrong in thinking this?
How do I address all of these thoughts and feelings? Keep in mind, my daughter tried to talk to the HC and was told there is no infield spot for her. My dd is 10 and she put herself out there and now she doesn't want to talk about it again. I know I keep reading that it doesn't matter until 14U, however, if she is miserable will she make it to 14U? If her dad & I are miserable will she make it to 14u? I am already emotional about the situation, I basically just drop dd off at practices and don't stay to watch anymore because I can't stand to see it all. I know that if I try to address the situation face to face I will cry, hell I am already tearing up writing all this out. How do I help my daughter through this when I feel the same way she does and I honestly don't think the coaches will change their minds about their line up. I like the HC as a person and I think she is an awesome coach and that is why we stayed with the team, however, I think AC and PC have significant influence over HC and my dd is not getting a fair shake. Did I mention #1 is AC's dd and PC's student and when #1 doesn't pitch she plays SS??? Both of the other pitchers are leaner and faster than dd.
I know you all say email is not the way to go but frankly I can't do face to face. My husband also refuses because the whole situation makes him so mad he is afraid he will be a big rear and insult people (you would have to know him but it is probably a truthful statement). So am I wrong in my feelings and should dd and I just suck it up? Should we just finish out fall and then look to see if there are teams looking for spring? Can I write a dang email? Do I really, really have to do this face to face thing which causes me to hyperventilate and feel like a panic attack is coming on?
My dd is 10 (March '05). She played on a 10U team last season and that team moved up to 12U this fall because of some older girls on the team she was on had to move up. There is a mix of girls between 6th, 5th (biggest majority) and even a 4th grader on the team.
Background....I am pretty non-confrontational, mostly because I am very emotional - hey, I can admit my faults. If there is an issue that bothers me I tend to get flustered when I try to discuss it and naturally start to cry. It is not something I am proud of and that is why I mostly just don't engage in discussions about potentially tough topics. It causes me some stress at times and Lime-a-ritas are consumed to take the edge off until I can just let go of my issue and move on. I think my dd has inherited some of my meekness. She is pretty quiet and just the sweetest, kindest girl (most of the time - however hormones are taking over at time and I get the brunt of that).
DD works hard - she is a pitcher and has worked her way into a solid #2 spot on her team. She switches in outfield with other girls when she isn't pitching. She is not happy with this situation and therefore I am not happy. She is fine being #2 - the #1 pitcher is super fast and we understand that the coaches love that about the #1 girl. #1 can strike girls out, however, if a team is hitting they can hit bombs off of her. My dd is a contact pitcher. She has (by far) the lowest pitch count per inning of all pitchers, the lowest walked batters, no hit batters, and just a slightly higher ERA than #1, but my daughter is not as fast as #1. My dd uses a lot of spin and therefore the teams that hit off her rarely get balls past the infield. (FYI - I am an admin for the teams Gamechanger so I have access to the stats to know this info). Again, we understand that she is #2. The #3 is also a good pitcher and probably is still a little faster than my dd, however, she has control issues and a super high ERA with lots of hit batters. If #3 can get her control (nerves) in check then both she and my daughter would be in a battle for #2 I think. (My dd has not lost any game that she has started).
The big issue is dd is not happy with being in outfield when not pitching. My dd is a bigger girl - and she also happens to be the slowest girl on the team (fact). What really upsets her the most is that at the end of summer (before tryouts) we were basically told that when she wasn't pitching they wanted to develop her into a first baseman - however the coach did a cya by also saying "no promises". Then the team held tryouts and recruited a girl that was a first baseman (very tall girl, also slow so not outfield potential either). My daughter has been unhappy so she went to the coach recently and asked if she would get a chance to practice at infield and the coach told her, we have a lot of infielders right now and we need you to play outfield. They don't even let her practice any infield work. Now my dd doesn't want to say anything again since she was shut down like that. She sits the bench switching with other outfielders during the games when she is not pitching and she hates it. When I try to have her work on pop-fly's during our personal practice together (we practice any night the team is not practicing) she gets upset because she is terrible at judging the balls and really can't get to them very fast. My husband and I both sit in the stands praying no balls will come to her during games and I am thinking she is praying the same thing. The one ball that was hit to left during the game was right on the fair line so of course by the time my dd got to it runs had scored (just as predicted because she is slow). I know at this point since the team has an infield (although some girls make crazy bad errors), that if dd doesn't play outfield she will be sitting the bench which frankly is a crappy option for a girl of her talent - and I don't believe any 10 year old should be sitting the bench all the time.
There were other issues during the tournament that I also have thoughts about - like during our 3rd pool game the #3 pitcher started and was pitching. We were winning 6-0 but then the other team found their bats and were hitting off her and she started to get a little erratic and the next thing you know the score is 6-4. The PC for the team went out and switched #3 with #1 and she finished the game and we won 6-4. Now fast forward to bracket game. #1 started (dd warmed up too) and the game was very close. Last inning home team (not us) gets up to bat down by 2 runs. The first girl up hits a single. 2nd girl up is walked. Then another girl is up and now bases are loaded. My question is why leave #1 in when the other team obviously has a bead on her pitches and are making good contact? #1 had very few strike outs that game in fact. This is where another of my problems lies, the coaches only rely on #1 and somehow don't this dd and the other pitcher can come in and do their jobs - am I wrong in thinking this?
How do I address all of these thoughts and feelings? Keep in mind, my daughter tried to talk to the HC and was told there is no infield spot for her. My dd is 10 and she put herself out there and now she doesn't want to talk about it again. I know I keep reading that it doesn't matter until 14U, however, if she is miserable will she make it to 14U? If her dad & I are miserable will she make it to 14u? I am already emotional about the situation, I basically just drop dd off at practices and don't stay to watch anymore because I can't stand to see it all. I know that if I try to address the situation face to face I will cry, hell I am already tearing up writing all this out. How do I help my daughter through this when I feel the same way she does and I honestly don't think the coaches will change their minds about their line up. I like the HC as a person and I think she is an awesome coach and that is why we stayed with the team, however, I think AC and PC have significant influence over HC and my dd is not getting a fair shake. Did I mention #1 is AC's dd and PC's student and when #1 doesn't pitch she plays SS??? Both of the other pitchers are leaner and faster than dd.
I know you all say email is not the way to go but frankly I can't do face to face. My husband also refuses because the whole situation makes him so mad he is afraid he will be a big rear and insult people (you would have to know him but it is probably a truthful statement). So am I wrong in my feelings and should dd and I just suck it up? Should we just finish out fall and then look to see if there are teams looking for spring? Can I write a dang email? Do I really, really have to do this face to face thing which causes me to hyperventilate and feel like a panic attack is coming on?