'HONEY you should have had that grounder'

[MikeP]

Rad wins the award for the most thought provoking topics hands down!

 

[mudrunner]

@Cannonball @jdint I don't know where the Horseshoe is but I'd meet and buy a cold one too. I'm ok with honey too

Collinsville maybe? Only Horseshoe I know of. I’m always down for a cold one too lol.

 

[jdint]

@Cannonball @jdint I don't know where the Horseshoe is but I'd meet and buy a cold one too. I'm ok with honey too

The Horseshoe is in beautiful Collinsville Illinois. About 20 minutes from St. louis. If you are ever in the area hit me up. You won't have to twist my arm to enjoy a cold frosty Budweiser and talk some softball.

 

[mudrunner]

The Horseshoe is in beautiful Collinsville Illinois. About 20 minutes from St. louis. If you are ever in the area hit me up. You won't have to twist my arm to enjoy a cold frosty Budweiser and talk some softball.

Oh yea. I know all about Collinsville lol. I grew up there for the most part. Still have a lot of family there. Haven’t been to Horseshoe in years.

 

[whiporee]

Funny how the one’s railing against the old school losers that won’t listen are doing exactly what they are accusing us of doing. You are right and if we don’t believe it then we are the problem. You are the ones sexualizing the word and then claiming we have the problem. Because you don’t like it then that is the final word, whatever. When you make up stupid, off topic scenarios you lose the argument. When someone calls my 11 year old honey she finds it hilarious and jokes about it, some of you would do well to act like an 11 year old sometimes.

Let's clear up a few things.

The team in question is 16U. I said that it's probably okay up until 12, but after that it's questionable. So while I'm thrilled your daughter finds it hilarious that someone calls her honey (BTW, what would be funny about that? Endearing or offensive, sure. But hilarious? And then she jokes about someone using a term of endearment towards her?), we aren't really talking about girls of your daughter's age. Girls who are older have a different set of experiences with these kids of things than girls who are younger.

When she asked girls that age about it. RAD said they uniformly didn't like it. 12-year-olds didn't mind. I asked my 16-year-old DD. She thought it was icky. She asked her teammates. They thought it was icky. So while it doesn't apply to you (yet) or RH (yet) I'm betting that if you actually asked 16u girls, most would find it icky when an older man refers to them that way.

And notice that I said MAN. Justified or not, the same kind of thing doesn't sound as condescending coming from a woman. The connotations are, as someone pointed out, more maternal. And because there aren't any sexual connotations with it.

And it's not that we don't like it. It's that the girls don't. RAD asked, the girls answered they didn't like it. I asked my DD and her team, they answered the same. Parents of girls that age were asked (the ones RAD talked to, me) and we didn't like it. That's evidence. Not inclusive of every experience, but evidence.

And yet you argue against it, citing some old-school code.

You know what's old school? I read a Dear Abby from '76 where a woman was concerned her husband was having an affair at work, Abby's advice? Work harder to keep him satisfied at home. Old school was saying girls asked for it. Old school was the uniforms the Racine Belles wore. Old school was bosses telling secretaries to wear shorter skirts, old school was "my wife. I think I'll keep her" and ads showing wives getting spankings from their husbands. It's men feeling comfortable calling some other person's teenage daughter "honey" or "sweetheart," and expecting her to take it like a compliment.

That's not some sort of old-school code. It's just inconsiderate.

 

[Bonesaw]

Let's clear up a few things.

The team in question is 16U. I said that it's probably okay up until 12, but after that it's questionable. So while I'm thrilled your daughter finds it hilarious that someone calls her honey (BTW, what would be funny about that? Endearing or offensive, sure. But hilarious? And then she jokes about someone using a term of endearment towards her?), we aren't really talking about girls of your daughter's age. Girls who are older have a different set of experiences with these kids of things than girls who are younger.

When she asked girls that age about it. RAD said they uniformly didn't like it. 12-year-olds didn't mind. I asked my 16-year-old DD. She thought it was icky. She asked her teammates. They thought it was icky. So while it doesn't apply to you (yet) or RH (yet) I'm betting that if you actually asked 16u girls, most would find it icky when an older man refers to them that way.

And notice that I said MAN. Justified or not, the same kind of thing doesn't sound as condescending coming from a woman. The connotations are, as someone pointed out, more maternal. And because there aren't any sexual connotations with it.

And it's not that we don't like it. It's that the girls don't. RAD asked, the girls answered they didn't like it. I asked my DD and her team, they answered the same. Parents of girls that age were asked (the ones RAD talked to, me) and we didn't like it. That's evidence. Not inclusive of every experience, but evidence.

And yet you argue against it, citing some old-school code.

You know what's old school? I read a Dear Abby from '76 where a woman was concerned her husband was having an affair at work, Abby's advice? Work harder to keep him satisfied at home. Old school was saying girls asked for it. Old school was the uniforms the Racine Belles wore. Old school was bosses telling secretaries to wear shorter skirts, old school was "my wife. I think I'll keep her" and ads showing wives getting spankings from their husbands. It's men feeling comfortable calling some other person's teenage daughter "honey" or "sweetheart," and expecting her to take it like a compliment.

That's not some sort of old-school code. It's just inconsiderate.

Your DD should tell the coach "dont call me honey" in front of everyone. If its that big of a deal.

 

[BT3100]

Let's clear up a few things.

The team in question is 16U. I said that it's probably okay up until 12, but after that it's questionable. So while I'm thrilled your daughter finds it hilarious that someone calls her honey (BTW, what would be funny about that? Endearing or offensive, sure. But hilarious? And then she jokes about someone using a term of endearment towards her?), we aren't really talking about girls of your daughter's age. Girls who are older have a different set of experiences with these kids of things than girls who are younger.

When she asked girls that age about it. RAD said they uniformly didn't like it. 12-year-olds didn't mind. I asked my 16-year-old DD. She thought it was icky. She asked her teammates. They thought it was icky. So while it doesn't apply to you (yet) or RH (yet) I'm betting that if you actually asked 16u girls, most would find it icky when an older man refers to them that way.

And notice that I said MAN. Justified or not, the same kind of thing doesn't sound as condescending coming from a woman. The connotations are, as someone pointed out, more maternal. And because there aren't any sexual connotations with it.

And it's not that we don't like it. It's that the girls don't. RAD asked, the girls answered they didn't like it. I asked my DD and her team, they answered the same. Parents of girls that age were asked (the ones RAD talked to, me) and we didn't like it. That's evidence. Not inclusive of every experience, but evidence.

And yet you argue against it, citing some old-school code.

You know what's old school? I read a Dear Abby from '76 where a woman was concerned her husband was having an affair at work, Abby's advice? Work harder to keep him satisfied at home. Old school was saying girls asked for it. Old school was the uniforms the Racine Belles wore. Old school was bosses telling secretaries to wear shorter skirts, old school was "my wife. I think I'll keep her" and ads showing wives getting spankings from their husbands. It's men feeling comfortable calling some other person's teenage daughter "honey" or "sweetheart," and expecting her to take it like a compliment.

That's not some sort of old-school code. It's just inconsiderate.

I don't disagree with you but why does everything need to be a hill to die on?
Kinda my issue with the internet as a whole, it's opened up this culture of insane intensity around every issue. Everything becomes so life and death.

 

[MikeP]

Let's clear up a few things.

The team in question is 16U. I said that it's probably okay up until 12, but after that it's questionable. So while I'm thrilled your daughter finds it hilarious that someone calls her honey (BTW, what would be funny about that? Endearing or offensive, sure. But hilarious? And then she jokes about someone using a term of endearment towards her?), we aren't really talking about girls of your daughter's age. Girls who are older have a different set of experiences with these kids of things than girls who are younger.

When she asked girls that age about it. RAD said they uniformly didn't like it. 12-year-olds didn't mind. I asked my 16-year-old DD. She thought it was icky. She asked her teammates. They thought it was icky. So while it doesn't apply to you (yet) or RH (yet) I'm betting that if you actually asked 16u girls, most would find it icky when an older man refers to them that way.

And notice that I said MAN. Justified or not, the same kind of thing doesn't sound as condescending coming from a woman. The connotations are, as someone pointed out, more maternal. And because there aren't any sexual connotations with it.

And it's not that we don't like it. It's that the girls don't. RAD asked, the girls answered they didn't like it. I asked my DD and her team, they answered the same. Parents of girls that age were asked (the ones RAD talked to, me) and we didn't like it. That's evidence. Not inclusive of every experience, but evidence.

And yet you argue against it, citing some old-school code.

You know what's old school? I read a Dear Abby from '76 where a woman was concerned her husband was having an affair at work, Abby's advice? Work harder to keep him satisfied at home. Old school was saying girls asked for it. Old school was the uniforms the Racine Belles wore. Old school was bosses telling secretaries to wear shorter skirts, old school was "my wife. I think I'll keep her" and ads showing wives getting spankings from their husbands. It's men feeling comfortable calling some other person's teenage daughter "honey" or "sweetheart," and expecting her to take it like a compliment.

That's not some sort of old-school code. It's just inconsiderate.

So a few things to cover here. For starters why do you care so much that my daughter finds it funny when someone calls her honey? Because she thinks it's goofy and we don't as a rule use the word a lot in our house. Maybe "hilarious" was too strong, sorry you seem to have a problem with that as well. Worry about yourself a little more and everyone else e little less chief, I'm tired of people like you always judging everyone. Since this started about 300 pages ago I guess I forgot that the original question pertained to 16 year old's but I stand by my initial response, if someone calls a 16 year old a word she doesn't like then she should ask them to stop. Pretty easy. As far as it being ok for a woman and not a man, your argument doesn't hold water but why would it when you think you make the rules. If there is no place for the word on a softball field then that's the rule, period. It's ok because women are maternal but men are always implying something sexual? I didn't cite any old school code, I said some of you are telling us "old school" guys that we are wrong and must change because you say so. I don't need your judgement and neither does anyone else. The question was if the use of a word was appropriate, doesn't require a bunch of social justice warriors to tell everyone else that their opinion is wrong. Have a nice day, I'm out of this one.

 

[4 girl's dad]

but yet we let our kiddos listen to WAP... go figure..

 

[jdint]

I don't disagree with you but why does everything need to be a hill to die on?
Kinda my issue with the internet as a whole, it's opened up this culture of insane intensity around every issue. Everything becomes so life and death.

That's a two way street in this case.