- Jun 8, 2016
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Tying a note to a water bottle and throwing it into the dugout during the top half of the 7th is how NOT to do this.
Telling the coach to take a hike...or burning bridges?
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- Dec 11, 2010
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I recognize the expression on that guys face.... Why does he remind me of every boss I ever had, lol
If at all possible take the high road. Tell the coach thanks for the opportunity and move on. We were in a bad situation with a coach who was only concerned about winning. Could not develop players so we had a new pick up in the dugout every major tournament. DD was a major contributor in the circle so PT wasn't an issue. Development as a player was our primary goal and leaving was the best move we ever made. Unfortunately I took the middle road if that makes sense. If I had it to do over I would have simply said thanks but we are moving on.
we have had to do this way too many times in both soccer and softball. have taken different approaches based on situation.
One we tried to have conversation, but HC and AC went on vacation immediately after tryouts, did not return any calls, finally told head of org. that was first travel experience, and team ended up playing one whole tourney, 3 games, entire spring. DD basically played whereever the girls who was pitching normally played.
some involved a phone call where we (politely) told coach exactly why we were leaving (clear reduction in playing time with no real indicator as to why other than to win very low level flight glorified rec travel soccer division). he tried to bullshit his way out of it, but it was clear who his favorites were
One involved 45 minutes conversation between HC and DD, then another hour on phone with DW. HC offered spot, but said we might be better served moving to another team to get more PT. DD still sees this coach for lessons, and in fact is trying out again for her team 2 years later.
One involved pulling DD off the sideline of soccer match with about 3 min left in game (HC looked at DW like she was crazy, said "but I was just about to put her in, Dd had been following him around on sideline nearly in tears for about 15 minutes asking if she was going to play, this guy brought here in solely when his GK broke her arm, and kept her on to light a fire under that same GKs but when she returned from injury).
One involved a simple text day after last tournament of the fall, "DD is not coming back for spring". HC pretty much already knew it, had already recruited another catcher as a guest player the last two tournaments. this team had 4 ACs, you know who batted 1-5. one time he tried DD out at number 2 spot, she went 2 for 3 with a double, next game and remainder of season, right back to bottom half of order.
current already knows we are moving on, DD moves to 14u, team is staying 12u. Opposite happened once as well, team moved to 14u, DD was staying 12u.
Once a coach makes an offer to a player, it is a commitment BOTH ways. and players need game time to develop as well as hard work in practice and on their own. 1 at bat and 3 innings a weekend in the game are not going to develop anybody (player will be too tight knowing they cannot screw up their limited opportunity). HC needs to commit to developing player, as well as player committing to team. to often coaches only want it one way.
One we tried to have conversation, but HC and AC went on vacation immediately after tryouts, did not return any calls, finally told head of org. that was first travel experience, and team ended up playing one whole tourney, 3 games, entire spring. DD basically played whereever the girls who was pitching normally played.
some involved a phone call where we (politely) told coach exactly why we were leaving (clear reduction in playing time with no real indicator as to why other than to win very low level flight glorified rec travel soccer division). he tried to bullshit his way out of it, but it was clear who his favorites were
One involved 45 minutes conversation between HC and DD, then another hour on phone with DW. HC offered spot, but said we might be better served moving to another team to get more PT. DD still sees this coach for lessons, and in fact is trying out again for her team 2 years later.
One involved pulling DD off the sideline of soccer match with about 3 min left in game (HC looked at DW like she was crazy, said "but I was just about to put her in, Dd had been following him around on sideline nearly in tears for about 15 minutes asking if she was going to play, this guy brought here in solely when his GK broke her arm, and kept her on to light a fire under that same GKs but when she returned from injury).
One involved a simple text day after last tournament of the fall, "DD is not coming back for spring". HC pretty much already knew it, had already recruited another catcher as a guest player the last two tournaments. this team had 4 ACs, you know who batted 1-5. one time he tried DD out at number 2 spot, she went 2 for 3 with a double, next game and remainder of season, right back to bottom half of order.
current already knows we are moving on, DD moves to 14u, team is staying 12u. Opposite happened once as well, team moved to 14u, DD was staying 12u.
Once a coach makes an offer to a player, it is a commitment BOTH ways. and players need game time to develop as well as hard work in practice and on their own. 1 at bat and 3 innings a weekend in the game are not going to develop anybody (player will be too tight knowing they cannot screw up their limited opportunity). HC needs to commit to developing player, as well as player committing to team. to often coaches only want it one way.
Do *NOT* tell off the coaches. Let it go. Simply say, "Thanks for all you've taught me and my daughter about softball! Good bye!"
The lesson, which applies all the way through college, is this: Softball is supposed to be played, not watched. Your DD's softball career is short. Find a team where she will play.
The lesson, which applies all the way through college, is this: Softball is supposed to be played, not watched. Your DD's softball career is short. Find a team where she will play.
The softball community is in reality a "very small world". You do not want to do or say anything that may adversely affect your daughter in the future. The worst thing you can do for your daughter is being known as the crazy parents who had issues with a coach. Take the high road and move on with little or no conversation as long as you have met your one year obligation to the team. "getting it off your chest" does not benefit your daughter. It's her journey and your just along for the ride and to pay for it.
3 yrs ago DD decided to leave her team of 4 years. She was clearly one of the best players on the team but was little and lefty. She caught. The HC picked up a big right handed catcher every year and by the end of every year DD had proved that she deserved the #1 position. But it happened every single year. She hated practice too. It was 2 hours of 2 girls hitting and everyone else shagging balls. (There were lots of other issues too but I won't go into those here). She decided to move on at the end of the season. When I called the coach *I* was accused of being disloyal and was called every name in the book. The final thing he said to me (we were leaving for a team much further from home) was "I hope every time you drive to practice you have a sh!++y drive". Um ok.
DD's team played them 2 weeks ago and DD caught (even though she rarely catches any more). She threw out his fastest runner at 2, back picked his 4 hole hitter at one, had a foul tip with a catch for an out and fired to one for the back pick and double play and hit a triple and a double off his #1 all in one game. Run ruled them and then did it agin the next morning in bracket. Super satisfying.
What is really funny is that the HC heard that her current team is ending due to the coach retiring and the old HC has been asking around about the possibility of DD coming back. Um nope - you burned that bridge 3 years ago.
Stay classy.
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DD's team played them 2 weeks ago and DD caught (even though she rarely catches any more). She threw out his fastest runner at 2, back picked his 4 hole hitter at one, had a foul tip with a catch for an out and fired to one for the back pick and double play and hit a triple and a double off his #1 all in one game. Run ruled them and then did it agin the next morning in bracket. Super satisfying.
What is really funny is that the HC heard that her current team is ending due to the coach retiring and the old HC has been asking around about the possibility of DD coming back. Um nope - you burned that bridge 3 years ago.
Stay classy.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
We kept it simple this year. DD got injured and he brought on another catcher while she was out for two weeks. After that, I think she caught a grand total of 3 or 4 innings in three tournaments and batted maybe 4 times. We just said, "She's not having fun and this is supposed to be fun. Thanks, but we'll be moving on this year." 3-minute face-to-face conversation and bye, Felicia. No malice; just matter of fact.
Did it one time several years ago. DD joined a new team that sometimes had trouble making nine early in the season, but often performed well and everyone seemed to get along. After some success, Mr Coach was able to snag some new players from a defunct team late in the Fall season. In the final tournament, he apparently wanted to try out his new toys and kiss up to their parents. DD went from her normal 4-hole spot to the bench after the first pool game. Others were benched as well...one left before the tournament was over. DD had no idea why, and the coaches never said a word to her. I'd never seen her so disappointed or confused, but she kept cheering for her team. The wife and I were boiling. We managed to say nothing during the tournament, but I did have to gently restrain my wife a couple of times. We did a little fist bump after the replacements made errors that tossed the team early in single elimination. Went home, slept on it (tried to, anyway), and I unloaded on that coach the next day. One of the ACs contacted me to say that he disagreed with the HC's decision, and he ended up leaving along with many others not much later. The team saw tremendous turnover and folded after the Spring season.
Sometimes, it's the kids being lazy or having a bad attitude that gets them benched, and deservedly so. However, nobody has ever accused DD of not putting in the work, either at practice or at home. I've never tolerated anything but her best effort, and I've threatened to bench her myself when I don't see it. In most situations, her best is more than equal to the task. Sometimes, new players demonstrate that they're better and earn a spot. That didn't happen here, either. The new players had been with the team for less than a week, and had been to a single practice. This wasn't an equitable rotation of playing time for a now crowded dugout; it was a decision to push aside a kid who helped the team get to the point where more wanted to join who the HC thought were better. Sometimes, it's not the kids...it's the coach and a failure of character. While I'm not in the habit of exploding on people, I have zero regrets for anything I said.
A couple years ago, DD's team played the team Mr Coach's DD was on. We were both ACs, and both teams were/are pretty good. Him being the 1B coach, he stepped to our dugout to say hello. He didn't notice me until he was already there. We locked eyes for a moment, but mutually decided not to make any fuss. Those around me noticed the unusual coldness that accompanied the obligatory handshake. DD then roped a double into RCF in her first AB, and we ended up winning.
Sometimes, it's the kids being lazy or having a bad attitude that gets them benched, and deservedly so. However, nobody has ever accused DD of not putting in the work, either at practice or at home. I've never tolerated anything but her best effort, and I've threatened to bench her myself when I don't see it. In most situations, her best is more than equal to the task. Sometimes, new players demonstrate that they're better and earn a spot. That didn't happen here, either. The new players had been with the team for less than a week, and had been to a single practice. This wasn't an equitable rotation of playing time for a now crowded dugout; it was a decision to push aside a kid who helped the team get to the point where more wanted to join who the HC thought were better. Sometimes, it's not the kids...it's the coach and a failure of character. While I'm not in the habit of exploding on people, I have zero regrets for anything I said.
A couple years ago, DD's team played the team Mr Coach's DD was on. We were both ACs, and both teams were/are pretty good. Him being the 1B coach, he stepped to our dugout to say hello. He didn't notice me until he was already there. We locked eyes for a moment, but mutually decided not to make any fuss. Those around me noticed the unusual coldness that accompanied the obligatory handshake. DD then roped a double into RCF in her first AB, and we ended up winning.
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I am the post being referenced in this original post. And i understand and appreciate your insight from the other perspective. Hereās what i can speak for on our specific situation...my DD has approached the coach at least 4 times asking for feedback and areas for improvement, every time the response is the same ājust keep working hardā. He never gives specifics so sheās flying blind on what to work on. She goes to hitting lessons weekly, catching lessons weekly, and catches for one of the team pitchers weekly, and catches her sisterās pitching weekly.,She is at every practice. Pool games, starting 9 play all and the benched 3 share 2 innings in the same position, max. Blow outs against weaker teams, and Iām talking 17-0 (albeit it was a weaker tournament, but it was the only tournament around) and its the starting 9, the whole game. At bats are quality at bats and in looking at the stats on first half of the season and second half of the season she is 5th in her batting average. Yet she has 7 at bats, where the others have 15+. The other 2 bench players have 3 at bats each. She has had 5 opportunities to make a play in the outfield: two grounders for a single, 2 line drives for a single and one fly out. The starters in the outfield have had 7 and 9 opportunities for a fly out and have made 2 catches. I know some hits are great hits and thatās just what they are. Iām just looking at it as how many times the ball was in the air and had the chance to be caught for an out. Iām not counting line drives, grounders, etc. Except for that one grounder error that went thru the starters legs for a triple and 2 runs scored and won the game for the other team.
I know mistakes happen, i know everyone is human, and i know itās a lot of details to keep up with. But there are a lot of times that these girls could perform to the standards set by the current starters, but ya never know, they might exceed them. I think thatās exactly what the coach is afraid of.
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