Stalker Parent

[southpaw coach]

Any coaches out there had a problem with a stalker parent?

 

[amanda_cake]

Lord, he sounds like a bag full of crazy. I don't know what to tell you to do. Is there someone above you, like a commissioner or someone who knows the guy that could help you in handling this situation?

 

[GOINGDEEP]

Unfortunately the ball park is no different than any other public place. Nut jobs are everywhere. I feel real bad for the kid. Drug addiction is a terrible way to spend a childhood with a parent.

We had a mother like you described a few years ago. Fresh divorce and was hitting on all the married guys. It got real bad and I finally had to let the DD go. I was very upset for a long time about the situation. But what do you do? I tried everything. But I couldn't let the whole team go to crap over a crazy mom.

As far as the CC, don't get too carried away. Not to give away my profession but that's the last thing you want to do or consider. If it's a problem you need to REALLY think about your options, and all the kid's safety.

This is probably the toughest post I have seen on this forum. Just be very cafeful........mentally and physically.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

What a first post. Or did you re-register?

I was thinking drugs before you even mentioned it. You wouldn't believe the number of "great people" that are hooked on pain medication.

I have had to call the park police in the past over a dad's drunken actions. In Springfield, IL. it was easy, because the park police didn't ever have much to do. I think that I would tell at least one other dad what the problem is and to be "on the alert" to dial 911.

I didn't know that it was illegal to carry at a public school. I guess that is a local law.

 

[Cannonball]

I have been through this. Nice man when he wasn't drinking. You need to develop a plan and you need to include an assistant coach/coach/adult if you really feel that this has potential danger. For me, I was told a couple of times that I was making it more than it was. Believe me, I've had a few confrontations before with parents. This was way above the norm. So, I did develop a plan. Unfortunatly I needed it. It included drawing this parent away from the team and parents and toward the parking lot so law enforcement would know where we were. It included a call to 911 as well as providing our SRO with a "history" and a request that he attend some of our games. The situation became very violent. Still, it happened away from most of the players/parents. I was trying to save him and the player the embarassment. Little did I know how bad this would become. Be very careful!!!

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Cannonball, It is odd that we had the same problem in the same state. Maybe all the crazies are in IL.

 

[mudbug]

I would say that this is one of those situations where you go with your gut insticts. There are often subtle nuances that indicate to you that there are deeper problems sometimes, but you will rationalize yourself away from that if you "think" about it too much.

However, from what you said, I dont see the "stalker " part. Maybe a bit psycho, or just not perceptive about interpersonal relations, but he doesnt seem to be stalking you to me from what you indicated. Possibly he thought you and he were building some kind of rapport, relationship, buddies, etc. Seems his wife thought so too if she saw fit to email you about him. Up-ending that kind of mistaken assumption would be embarrassing, and probably change someones behavior. Has he indicated aggressive or violent tendencies toward you at all?

I certainly dont condone, or defend drug abuse. But I have known employees with usage problems, and only found out when they were fired after failing a drug test at work, etc. No real symptoms. I remember one particular guy, amazingly hard worker, never stopped moving or rested all day. I remember when he once went home after working a 12 hr night shift, and painted a car. I hated to lose that guy.

 

[Bishop]

Cannonball, It is odd that we had the same problem in the same state. Maybe all the crazies are in IL.

Watch it lady. I resemble that comment. Or something like that.

 

[southpaw coach]

What a first post. Or did you re-register?

He has not displayed violent tendencies at all but all I can say is that my spidey sense is tingling.

 

[southpaw coach]

I have been through this. Nice man when he wasn't drinking. You need to develop a plan and you need to include an assistant coach/coach/adult if you really feel that this has potential danger. For me, I was told a couple of times that I was making it more than it was. Believe me, I've had a few confrontations before with parents. This was way above the norm. So, I did develop a plan. Unfortunatly I needed it. It included drawing this parent away from the team and parents and toward the parking lot so law enforcement would know where we were. It included a call to 911 as well as providing our SRO with a "history" and a request that he attend some of our games. The situation became very violent. Still, it happened away from most of the players/parents. I was trying to save him and the player the embarassment. Little did I know how bad this would become. Be very careful!!!

Thanks. My assistant coaches have a clue about what's happening so we'll have to talk about it and develop a plan.