Sometimes, You’re a Loser by Amanda Scarborough

[Cannonball]

For those who believe there’s too much getting something for nothing in this country, what do you think about inheriting great wealth? Should a wealthy person’s child be given even more advantages than having access to the best schools and medical treatment?

SK, typically we agree on a lot of stuff. I don't see the need to post this on a softball website. IMO, a lot of walls can be built on a website where one common cause brings us together where politics will tear us apart. JMHO!

 

[Indiana]

The following is from USA Hockey: (an organization which ranks the individual kids - no one could accuse them of sugar coating reality):

Let Them Play
Let Them Have Fun
Let Them Fail
Let Them Learn
Let Them Succeed
Let Them Be Kids

 

[JJsqueeze]

...his demeanor was 100% truthful with his kids if you sucked on a play he would tell you just the same as if you made a great play he would let you know with a hug or high five ...

this ^^^ Truth with kids. They are so much smarter, tougher, resilient than we give them credit for. Too many coaches and parents are caught in their own little paradigm that they forget about just telling the truth. The coach that does nothing but bluster, who just thinks that kids need to be tougher...wrong. The nicey nice coach where everything is a good job...wrong. Shoot em straight and see how much better they listen. Celebrate their successes, and give it to em straight when they do a poor job at something. They will start responding to both. Tell them "nice try" when they clearly half assed it, or constantly criticize them without pointing out all the good stuff and see how fast they tune you out. Kids have awesome BS filters.

 

[amandascarborough]

If you really think that Amanda has joined our site, I have a bridge to sell you....

I'm here! Promise this is me. Wish I could verify myself somehow. Why I made an account was because I saw the amount of traffic that was being generated to my site by this website, so I wanted to see what it was all about. Think it's good to be in the fast pitch discussions and maybe give my opinion her for there! Promise this is me though!! Guess there is no way to REALLY prove it, but I am here!

 

[tjintx]

We all know it's you Amanda! No need for proof. BUT, if you REALLY feel the need to prove it you could always post a selfie.

 

[amandascarborough]

We live in a society where everyone is scared to tell a kid that they lost and in a society where everybody gets a trophy or a ribbon, proclaiming they won.

I understand what the writer of the article is trying to get across, and in general I agree that acquiring something without effort isn’t the best way for kids to learn how to succeed in life. So, what chaps my backside isn’t that someone believes that, but rather that in order to grab attention and give the impression that things are going to Hell in a hand basket, they use extreme hyperbole.

I’m certainly not scared to tell a kid they lost, and I know a great many who feel the same way, including her, so to use a word like “everyone”, is to me disingenuous at best, and flat out lying at worst. And for sure to describe an entire society as being one where “everybody gets a trophy or ribbon” is just as bad.

What’s being done is, the writer of the article is making a political statement under the guise of sports commentary, and to me that’s disgusting! I see and hear enough of that kind of crapola without having to see it on a sports board.

Why didn’t that young lady just leave that 1st paragraph out of the article? Because she’s been raised in a world of trying to grab as much attention as quickly as possible, even if you have to exaggerate or lie, because if you don’t you’ll lose your audience quickly, and that is the ultimate failure. She knows that without that 1st paragraph, what she wrote is something that’s been written so many times by so many people, CoogansBluff’s description is spot on. What she had to say may be true, but its TRITE.

None of that is intended to denigrate her. In fact I commend her for being willing to put her thoughts out there for consideration by others. I'd just like to see her or someone else do that without just regurgitating the same things others have been saying for at least the almost 70 years I've been alive.

HI there! I am the writer of the article I most certainly had no intent of making any kind of political statement. I don't like to write about politics, I like to write about softball.

Surprisingly, the response from this article has not seemed like it is trite, as the tens of thousands of people who have viewed it and close to 10,000 people who have shared it on Facebook, have given me a great response acting as if they have never heard this before and they are in full support. You, personally, may not be scared to tell a kid that they lost, but there are many parents & coaches across the country who absolutely feel like they have to protect their children from feeling any kind of hurt or angst, thus not wanting someone to lose (at anything in life) because of the pain it makes us feel.

As far as the first paragraph of the article, I remember learning in elementary school and in speech class that the first thing you have to do when you are writing to telling a speech is catch people's attention! And it sounded like from the response from you, I did just that. Honestly, I did that without even meaning to, but just stating my own opinion (even though it may have been a little bit exaggerated). I hear you on that.

Totally love hearing your opinion by the way, and I thank you! I do not expect "EVERYONE" to think like me or enjoy the articles I write, but I know that I touch some people out there who really connect with my writing and like what I have to say. I write for those people, not to get into any fights or arguments with anybody about ANYTHING that I write on my site. (If you know me at all, you know that I do not like to argue and I love to listen to different people's opinions, and love to learn different points of views). The reason why I started a blog was because I really like writing and I absolutely love softball. I've had experience at all different levels, and I feel like I have some information to offer. Being around the softball world at the 18U, 16U and collegiate levels, I have noticed certain trends in being around the softball world. The number one complaint that I hear from college coaches is that players are getting to the collegiate level and they don't know how to COMPETE. They know how hit, pitch, throw and play defense extremely well and with a lot of talent, but many of them get to college and do not know how to step out onto a field and flat out compete. I like to try to find out why that is?

Thanks so much for your comment. I am just 27 and I see that you are close to 70 years old. You have FAR more experiences than I do in life. I will continue to learn about softball, life and writing as I get older and become a better person for it. - AS

 

[Eric F]

We all know it's you Amanda! No need for proof. BUT, if you REALLY feel the need to prove it you could always post a selfie.

Easy, tiger.

 

[amandascarborough]

We all know it's you Amanda! No need for proof. BUT, if you REALLY feel the need to prove it you could always post a selfie.

I am not a fan of selfles!

 

[Scorekeeper]

SK, typically we agree on a lot of stuff. I don't see the need to post this on a softball website. IMO, a lot of walls can be built on a website where one common cause brings us together where politics will tear us apart. JMHO!

I didn’t post it to stir up trouble. Its just that I see the two things as being exactly the same. Some people believe its wrong for a ballplayer to get something s/he didn’t earn, like PT, but don’t see the other as being wrong. Personally, I don’t care what people believe, but I do care whether they are consistent. When they aren’t, to me it means they’re cherry-picking things to get on the soapbox about while trying to win an argument, and I don’t think that’s right.

If A = X on the ball field, A should = X everywhere. If it was taken as some kind of political statement, it shouldn’t have been.

 

[Cannonball]

Amanda, if it is really you, then welcome. We have a lot of very good people here who have good intent and want to help their daughters achieve great things. Softball for many of us is a venue that enables those dreams to come true. Someone with your experience could benefit us all. I know many in the softball community who coach at a very high level. It would be neat to hear once in a while from someone who has played at that same level.