Sharing info with parents? When and how much

[SnocatzDad]

I don't think it is the business of ANY parent how other girls' playing time is affected or not because of an absence. The head coach, fair or not, decides playing time. My dd makes every practice and some girls don't. However, I don't expect that she is going to get playing time ahead of another girl until her on-field performance improves, not just her attendance. Attendance at practice is the means for her to improve her skills. If the other players are consistently missing practices, it will show in their performance relative to my dd's. A good coach will recognize and reward that. If playing time was awarded solely on the basis of attendance, we would play some pretty sorry games. Parents have no business bringing something like this up with the coach, it is petty and it tears a team apart.

Depends on what was established at the beginning of the year. If you set up team rules and state that the consequence of A is B then you need to be consistant with that regardless of whether it's the best player or worst if you want to have a "team". Having parents ask you about the above implies that

A. You do have these rules and aren't following them and your starting to feel some blowback from that.

B. You haven't clearly defined those rules and the parents are looking for boundaries to be set

C. You have specifically set guidelines for this that have not been violated and the parents are trying to get you to rewrite team policy to be what they think it should be which is out of line for the parents and if they felt that strongly about it they should not allow their kids to play for you rather than try to dictate how you run the team

FYI, Our HS has a rule that if you miss a practice unexcused(or for an unacceptable reason) you miss the next event/game/meet. Firm but fair IMO.

 

[PA SB Dad]

SCD, I agree with you 100% that a coach needs to be consistent, and some coaches may bring this on themselves if they are not. My issue is that parents should not get involved in evaluating the playing time of someone else's kid. Not everyone can make it to every practice (not even the head coach). If someone misses a practice, teach your dd to look at it as an opportunity to show the coach what she can do in that kids absence.

Our starting first baseman last year (big kid, strong hitter) missed a lot of winter indoor practice. After the first spring tournament she found herself sitting a lot because she couldn't make the plays and was way behind in hitting. She did not make the team this year because she just didn't make enough progress compared to the others. In the big picture, these things fix themselves. But complaining to a coach about someone else missing a practice doesn't do anything other than bring about hard feelings all the way around. The kids that show up and work hard will earn their rewards. It's not up to the parents to try and penalize another kid, that's not their role.

 

[mudbug]

Aha. Well, theres not much inside information there. Parents can see who is on the field and who is not at any time. Unless coach isnt adhering to his stated rules there shouldnt be any questions why.

Girls over 12 are capable of discussing issues with the coach themselves, and parents have no business questioning playing time of their daughter or anyone elses. If the girl or parent wants to respectfully ask for explanation in private why they arent playing or playing more they are owed it. It should really come from the girl though, it helps them mature. But the answer always comes down to reliability/dedication, and skill level, and one is coming up short as compared to players who compete for time at her positions. There needs to be a strict line here, parental whining or complaining will put DD on the bench for the next tournament or game. Lack of respect for the coach should put her off the team, regardless of what player it is.

School comes first. Important family obligations come in front of softball as well. But after that, on a good team, a girl better not skip practices, tournaments, etc without a darned good reason, and especially not without letting coach know in advance. A season is a learning progression, and a single player missing practice can hold the whole teams progress back. Families need to be aware of that reality up front. By the time warmups are thru, a coach should have called any missing girls or families and found out why they arent there yet.

Parents, are very good at evaluating skill level of every kid on the field except sometimes their own. And other parents will not tell them the truth. If a parent thinks DD plays and hits as good as all the other girls, and doesnt understand why she doesnt play more, no other parent will tell them otherwise. To do so would create an unbridgeable chasm between them. So they just say they dont know and reinforce the parents idea that their child should be playing.

 

[SnocatzDad]

School comes first. Important family obligations come in front of softball as well. But after that, on a good team, a girl better not skip practices, tournaments, etc without a darned good reason, and especially not without letting coach know in advance. A season is a learning progression, and a single player missing practice can hold the whole teams progress back. Families need to be aware of that reality up front.

Completely agree. We had two practices during the year where we spent most of the practice working on cutoff's (where to be, where to throw, who says what) and that is really a team activity that even the best player can't afford to miss because it's focused on team coordinated effort. We can't spend every practice working on cutoff's we need every player at every practice so that we don't have anyone lost on thier responsibilities. If a coach knows in advance that kids will be missing, he/she can plan a differnt type of practice, but there is nothing more frustrating than to spend the time planning a team oriented practice and come to practice to find kids missing and have to trash it and start from scratch.

 

[Coach JV]

I don't think it is the business of ANY parent how other girls' playing time is affected or not because of an absence. The head coach, fair or not, decides playing time. My dd makes every practice and some girls don't. However, I don't expect that she is going to get playing time ahead of another girl until her on-field performance improves, not just her attendance. Attendance at practice is the means for her to improve her skills. If the other players are consistently missing practices, it will show in their performance relative to my dd's. A good coach will recognize and reward that. If playing time was awarded solely on the basis of attendance, we would play some pretty sorry games. Parents have no business bringing something like this up with the coach, it is petty and it tears a team apart.

I agree with the pettiness. Thank god this season will be over in a few weeks.
The petty parent needs to take a PAYS course anyways. I have a sneaking suspicion that her DD will not make the team in the spring. This is why it is important to have good parents as well as good kids. I told them from the beginning that the inmates don't run the softball asylum, it is just the one parent. The others try now to avoid her like the plague. It has been a long season, maybe a little too much 'together time.'

Seriously, I think we will institute mandatory 'PAYS' for our travel club next year.