Saw this argued for a triple play. Girls on second and third, no outs, lefty came up. Lefty went to slap hit a riser and fouled it toward the crashing third baseman who caught it then tagged the girl leaving third half way down the line. She then threw back to third where the short stop tagged the girl standing on the base. Ump called the fly and first tag outs but not the second. Coach made a stink and had the short stop run back to second with the ball and touch the base. BU then called the girl out for leaving early. BU claimed he needed to see the appeal to second before calling the out. We all thought since the girl illegally obtained third that she was out by the tag regardless of her presence on the base. The BU was confident on his understanding and we got the third out so nobody was questioning it just very confused.
We now have our girls always appeal 'left early' plays back to the base even if we tagged the runner.
Your umpires need to get their noses into the rule book! Here's something from the ASA rule book supplemental section:
(Live Ball Appeal) In all games an appeal may be made during a live ball by any fielder in possession of the ball touching the base missed or left too soon on a caught fly ball, or by tagging the runner committing the violation if they are still on the playing field.
Again, as noted several times, just having the player state something like, "She left base too soon", while tagging the runner should satisfy the requirement that the appeal be unmistakable.
Better yet, school your team in how to make a dead ball appeal. Just wait until all action has stopped, request time, then have any infielder, with or without the ball, verbally appeal the infraction to the umpire. No throwing the ball around, no tagging any bases or runners...just a perfectly acceptable by-the-book appeal process that is simple to execute.