Player punished for parent debt (rec)

[Momo'sDad]

At what age is it generally appropriate to include a player in a conversation with the parents about why the player is no longer eligible to play?

For rec all-stars, parents are required to do 8 hours of service work during the summer or to pay $150, which covers the summer uniform and tournament fees. This year, we have a family who gave us a worthless deposit check and chose not to do any hours. I don't want to add too many extraneous details that might bias a reader, but there is a $120 debt from spring that's being carried over to 2014.

I see it as a cut-and-dry situation, but the parents disagree and have involved the child in the drama with the HC. The HC's daughter and the now-ineligible player are good friends.

This is a 16u team and the player is 15. The reason I asked the question is that my communication has been with the parents only via email, but the HC was told BY THE PLAYER that she's back on the team and would be at practice Monday. I'm our league's B program coordinator, which includes all-stars. I'm ok with being the bad guy here. But in general, is it ok to include a 15yo player in a conversation with the parents about personal responsibility?

 

[slinger]

As a parent with an underage child, I would not want my child included in that conversation unless I gave permission. With that being said, whenever I have been faced with that issue, I make a point to sit down privately with the parents and if the sit-down is not fruitful I make a judgment call.

The judgment is based on the kids intensity. If this kid really wants to play I will find a local businessman to help with the issue. If the kid is being forced to play, I am doing him/her a favor by forcing the ineligibility.

My focus is on letting them play if they really want to, someway, somehow!

 

[softballphreak]

Unless there are extenuating circumstances and it falls under your authority I would declare the player ineligible to play. Period.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

Tough one here.

I'd have to go with my gut and treat it on a case by case basis. It would depend if I felt the kid was a victim of the parent's failure or if the player felt entitled to play to the point of arrogance.

The parent had 2 options, if they can't afford $150, you've given them an option to work 8 hours at $20hr. I'd have to know if this was a hardship case or a bullship case, and act accordingly. But I'd probably leave the kid out of the conversation.

***Speaking of Bullship***

Bottom line is I'd remember this next year at all-stars. If her parents don't make amends, she'd be blackballed next year for sure.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

If you let her float by and play, what do you do with the next kid, whose check bounces? I suppose that you are doing them a favor, by not turning that check over to the State's Attorney's office.

I see this differently, than a little girl that just can't pay. The folks deceived you and then, didn't put in any hours. At age 15, the young lady could have put in the work hours, herself.

They needed to be straight up with the league and worked their hours.

The girl is probably mortified. I wouldn't include her in the conversation.

 

[Lozza]

I feel for the girl because she's being punished for her parents but ultimately you've offered them options. They choose not to take them.

We had two kids who we refused to let play last season. Both same family, both hasn't returned their uniforms from the previous year. Our local council pays up to $200 worth of fees each year per child and we are less than that. Literally all the mother had to do was sign a bit of paper. Refused. Then cried the next year when we refused to let her kids played. We got the uniforms back. Cut up into tiny pieces.

 

[smddad]

Maybe I'm getting a bit off track and I won't get into my opinion of involving the child into the conversation, but when I was involved in Rec league, there was always a case for hardship. If the parents couldn't afford it, the league would scholarship the child. This held true even for all-stars.

 

[smddad]

We got the uniforms back. Cut up into tiny pieces.

Oy vey....adults behaving worse than children!

 

[GOINGDEEP]

Maybe I'm getting a bit off track and I won't get into my opinion of involving the child into the conversation, but when I was involved in Rec league, there was always a case for hardship. If the parents couldn't afford it, the league would scholarship the child. This held true even for all-stars.

There was no extra fee for all-stars in our rec league. That cost was figured in and spread out over everyones registration fee. The year we made it to the world series, that was covered by the township and local sponsors, since we were representing our state.

 

[Momo'sDad]

There's a strained family dynamic and because of that, they've been given several passes as far as accountability is concerned. That's the issue that our president and treasurer have - at what point has everyone else given enough?

We use our annual fireworks booth to fund our summer all-star season, so the parents of the all-stars are the ones who are required to work it. In addition, a board member is on duty for each shift as well. I did over 18 hours this year and don't even have a kid in the league. Meanwhile, this family is partying up at Tahoe and posting pic updates on Facebook. We had a massive heat wave this past week, yet every other parent fulfilled their obligation, even if it meant paying someone else to work their shifts. People who were out of town paid the deposit and then we paid workers to cover their shifts.

We go above and beyond to include every player in the spring rec season who wants to play. We've had parents take scholarships for multiple years and never do any volunteer work, until we made it an outright requirement absent extenuating circumstances. We do what we can to give every girl who wants it an experience in softball, but the summer and fall seasons are extras, so everyone is required to pay their own way or pull their weight somehow.