Dealing with high school coaches.

[HOG11]

I would like some feedback on how to handle this current situation my daughter is going through as a freshman on her school team. She is an average player, she has been playing softball since she was 8, plays travel and is a pitcher/outfielder.

Our high school team is terrible and has been for multiple years, the coach has been in place for 20+ years. The coaches daughter, a sophomore is the starting CF, in 14 plate appearances, she has 8K, 1 hit (a ball that fell right outside the batters box on a full swing) and 4 BB. There are other players that are bad, but this one is the most glaring atrocity.

My daughter has played in 3 games when the team went out of state and not the entire team attended, only 1 starter didn't attend and my daughter took their place, and hit 2nd in the lineup. She has 10 plate appearances, 0k, 4 hits and 1 BB. And she is significantly a better outfielder. Now my daughter is relegated to JV, which id be fine with if it was fair or deserving. The bottom 3 of the varsity line up have 2 hits combined in 5 games.

Their are 3 other coaches on the team who have all told my daughter she should be on varsity, I've heard from other parents that their upper classmen have stood up for my kid to the assistants and even the assistant has told the head coach that she deserves to be playing varsity.

Now before the season even started, before they even practiced the coach told the team at their first meeting that she already had the starting line up set and that no one is allowed to talk to her about playing time, and she won't even respond to or talk to parents if they ask.

I try not to be "that parent" but I am already frustrated beyond belief and my daughter just doesn't see how it's fair. She is killing it in JV but the coach just doesn't care, my daughter doesn't deserve to be pitching right now but she will need her in 2 years when the current #1 graduates. She said she'd ride it out this year but if next year comes around and she isn't starting she is done.

Does anyone have any experience with handling similar situations or suggestions on how they think I should handle it?

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[Lance Steckler]

i'd tell the coach with the fixed line-up before the games even start, to pull her head out of her butt and actually open eyes and coach. And she can cram that i'm not talking to anyone about it BS. Have your DD ask her politely what she needs to do.

One thing is not to compare your DD or other players. More of a phrase "what does she have to do to make varsity is better approach".

Politics, favoritism and coaches like you outlined are my least favorite parts of HS softball.

best of luck.

 

[HOG11]

Thanks for your response and I agree and would never have her compare herself to anyone when speaking to the coach. I was using it as a point of reference.

Multiple other parents are encouraging the older girls to speak up on my daughters behalf.

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[_MIA_]

She can try and talk to her but any coach who has this attitude (if true):

Now before the season even started, before they even practiced the coach told the team at their first meeting that she already had the starting line up set and that no one is allowed to talk to her about playing time

probably isn't going to be real open to discussion with a player..If she enjoys being part of the team, regardless of her role, she should keep playing. If not, then she shouldn't play next year.

 

[GunnerShotgun]

the coach has been in place for 20+ years. The coaches daughter, a sophomore is the starting CF

I would speak with the AD or principal (whomever is in charge of hiring/firing) the coach and just mention the above. I wouldn't go into the other details unless you are asked.

Short of that you are out of options.

 

[Rolling Hard]

HS coaches need term limits.

 

[Strike2]

The long-time, but more effective coach at DD's HS had a similar "I don't talk to parents about playing time" policy. However, parents did have chats with him about playing time. I know of at least one instance where a mom ( a former college player) having a sit-down with him about her kid (a capable player) changed the trajectory of her kid's HS playing career for the better.

Given what you describe, you don't have much to lose. The coach is apparently ridiculously rigid and blind. If the coach really won't talk, go to the AD and then the HS principal. However, if the team is really that bad, this could be a situation of "be careful what you ask for".

 

[Cannonball]

HS coaches need term limits.

Yup. Can you imagine the amount of golf I could have played if I had term limits? Could you imagine the amount of wear and tear I would have saved on my body? Can you imagine how many incoming freshmen DI Power 5 players I would not have ruined? We played this past weekend. One of the umpires came over to tell the young ladies about his first game as an umpire decades ago when I was the HC in baseball. They all got a great laugh from that. I was over the hill and should have been put out to pasture long ago. Maybe after I throw BP tonight and go home barely able to walk, I'll consider getting out. (I'm too dumb to get out.)

 

[HOG11]

The long-time, but more effective coach at DD's HS had a similar "I don't talk to parents about playing time" policy. However, parents did have chats with him about playing time. I know of at least one instance where a mom ( a former college player) having a sit-down with him about her kid (a capable player) changed the trajectory of her kid's HS playing career for the better.

Given what you describe, you don't have much to lose. The coach is apparently ridiculously rigid and blind. If the coach really won't talk, go to the AD and then the HS principal. However, if the team is really that bad, this could be a situation of "be careful what you ask for".

These is 1 other freshman who is deserving of starting over another player, but it isn't as obvious. If they inserted my daughter and this other freshman for 2 of the girls who haven't hit, the team could at least stand a chance in some of the games. The top of the line up is pretty decent, the problem is they get on and no one can hit them in.

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[cnardone]

If she enjoys playing ball for her school and with her friends, then tell her to put her pride aside and go play. Have a blast with her friends and kick some JV rear. Her time will come. The only discussion she should have with the Varsity coach is, "what do I need to improve to start on Varsity?"