Cutting players who tryout for other teams

[bmakj]

some teams, especially in fall, end their seasons, and hold tryouts, before others. as long as a player is meeting their team commitments (practices and games), they should not face repercussions for what they choose to do in their own time (now if they are recruiting for another team at your practices or games, badmouthing current team in the dugout, etc., that is another matter).

Last summer, which granted was extraordinary in running so late because of no spring, DD was moving up in fall, and most of current team was not. We made it quite clear she was leaving, even after the coach indicated it would be a 13u team (couple of other girls were aging out of 12u as well, and he wanted to try and keep team together), and we openly discussed (including with the coaches) what teams she had tryouts for, what offers she had, etc. not badmouthing current team, but just being realistic and honest with everybody.

 

[BT3100]

One of the best ways to avoid all of this is to practice open communication. I know it won't solve every problem but many of the issues brought up in this thread could be easily solved with communication.
What's happened over the last decade is that parents are scared to be labeled "those parents" and instead of having open and honest conversations about their DD they change teams or go looking.
This whole playing time thing is interesting. Some people believe that a coach would rather play a weaker kid than play their kid. If you are in that camp I think you need to really consider removing emotions and evaluate your kid based on her skills and performance not her work ethic. That seems to be where some parents get off track. They see how hard their DD works and confuse hard work with results. Changing teams doesn't solve a problem it just moves it and in most cases just buries it and when you bury a small problem like a seed it grows into a big problem. Been there done that.

 

[whiporee]

One of the best ways to avoid all of this is to practice open communication. I know it won't solve every problem but many of the issues brought up in this thread could be easily solved with communication.
What's happened over the last decade is that parents are scared to be labeled "those parents" and instead of having open and honest conversations about their DD they change teams or go looking.
This whole playing time thing is interesting. Some people believe that a coach would rather play a weaker kid than play their kid. If you are in that camp I think you need to really consider removing emotions and evaluate your kid based on her skills and performance not her work ethic. That seems to be where some parents get off track. They see how hard their DD works and confuse hard work with results. Changing teams doesn't solve a problem it just moves it and in most cases just buries it and when you bury a small problem like a seed it grows into a big problem. Been there done that.

The problem is the differences on most teams is very small. Once you get past the pitcher, catcher, SS and 2nd, the noticable differences between players is very subtle. In your typical 12-14 tournament day, girls might get three or four chances to make plays. That small sample makes it hard to make real comparisons.

I don’t think anyone thinks coaches put worse players out there just because. I think parents feel coaches have favorites or routines, and that’s where the complaints come from.

 

[radness]

I don’t think anyone thinks coaches put worse players out there just because. I think parents feel coaches have favorites or routines, and that’s where the complaints come from.

Hmmm?
Since coaches do put worse players on the field...
Actually think this does cause issue's.
When coaches do put worse players on the field...
*its the unknown reason
'because' thats causes conundrum.

Parents do recognize odd coaching decisions.

There is not a seperate thinking ability between a person with the title parent or coach.
There may be different goals.
However when something a coach does doesnt make sense at all.
It gets questioned because
"Just because" isnt a real answer.
So we know theres a real reason that has become mystery and that in itself causes the conundrum.

Just to add,
Do not think its reasonable for a coach to have to explain why they make a decision.
Do think if the coach communicates at the beginning of the team/season team goals, that atleast can help people follow the decisions...
Well...? only if the coaching decisions are alligned with said team goals.

 

[RIZZARIJOE]

I think it is harsh, but I think that the harsh punishment of getting cut in the long term is best for both the team, player and parents.

I say this because it happened to DD and us. However, it was a little different scenario. DD committed to play for her batting coaches organizational team (wasn't ideal but would've been an upgrade from where she was). Tryouts for our nationally ranked big dog "hittin' kittens" were scheduled after our commitment and before the team was even put together. Word got out the we were GOING (hadn't even gone) to go to the tryout, and BOOM... I got a text that the team was going in another direction with regards to my DD and that we'd have to find another option.

We were pretty crushed and didn't understand how small the softball world is and the unwritten code. It all ended up working out as she made her dream team and the other team has turned out good. Emotions were high, but all involved were sincere in that it was good that it worked out, it was the right place for her.

Basically, "don't go chatting up other girls (or boys) when you're currently dating". If you looking, you're not completely invested....

I feel the opposite. I think it's great to try out for other teams. You get to see the competition, and it teaches you to perform under pressure. Then there are the talented girls that bounce from team to team trying to field the most advantageous team. As a coach of a very moribund team, you would want talented players trying out for your team, even if you know that they won't ever consider playing for your team. Unfortunately, the softball world is very small, and if star players come to your tryout, you may land one of the other big fish that follows. On the other extreme, if you were to watch a tryout with all unathletic girls, would you ever consider committing to that team?

I'm getting a bit off-topic. If you have an organization that will cut you for trying out for another team, then that organization will eventually implode. Parents and their dd's will see that they're not really invested in putting the best team forward. Also, a team willing to cut a girl for trying out for another team is being hypocritical. I'm quite sure that they'll take stud players from another team instead of having some sort of prohibition of new players. In other words, the door can't swing only one way.

 

[TXJames44]

And things get even more interesting. We have a tournament this weekend, and Player A said they could not make it (they had family plans). However, they showed up at park to watch a team they practiced with last week that also were playing in same tourney (not to see how they play, but to support them). A few of our parents/kids saw them and chatted and asked why they weren't playing and if they were staying to watch us play (next game after the other team). They said No and left.

The Coach of team they came to watch texted me last night and said it was weird they showed up and left before our game. They also said that this behavior causes some red flags and they would not take this family/player because of it.

They are clearly done with our team, but I think they don't want to quit until they find a new home. I guess I will see where it goes, but now I am getting a lot of questions from parents.

 

[whiporee]

Sounds like none of you like each other at this point. Hard to imagine the player getting much love from her teammates, unless it was a thing where she actually had to leave for the family thing, and even that will be difficult to explain to other girls.

If I remember correctly, it's not like she was getting much PT with your team. I do think it's difficult for girls/players who ARE getting a lot of PT to remember how disappointing and rough that is on those who aren't, and with certain paretns and certain girls, that can turn into animosity very quick.

If I were you. I'd just ignore it. They're obviously gone, so I'd treat her like everyone else when she's there and assume she'll miss anything that's not convenient for the rest of the year. I don't think there's a reason to cut her, though, unless you want to make a point that i don't think will be worth making in the long run.

Good luck.

 

[TXJames44]

Sounds like none of you like each other at this point. Hard to imagine the player getting much love from her teammates, unless it was a thing where she actually had to leave for the family thing, and even that will be difficult to explain to other girls.

If I remember correctly, it's not like she was getting much PT with your team. I do think it's difficult for girls/players who ARE getting a lot of PT to remember how disappointing and rough that is on those who aren't, and with certain paretns and certain girls, that can turn into animosity very quick.

If I were you. I'd just ignore it. They're obviously gone, so I'd treat her like everyone else when she's there and assume she'll miss anything that's not convenient for the rest of the year. I don't think there's a reason to cut her, though, unless you want to make a point that i don't think will be worth making in the long run.

Good luck.

That is basically what I am doing. No need to do anything else unless something becomes really disruptive.

 

[tamss13]

I am extremely picky about where my DD plays....its not about winning its about a team that going to be there for her and her parents. We pay allot of money to have our children play on these teams.

Very few of the kids playing will play at the college level. Heck some really good DDs will get passed up.

This isn't college where the coach is paying our DD. This is a travel team that the parents pay for every single thing.

heck I could understand if you are on a sponsored team where travel, tournaments, and equipment was paid for.....then I understand the cutting

But when you are paying out your pocket.....I am extremely picky. If I see a girl get cut because she tried out somewhere else that team is lined off our list

If the parent is a pain.....well tell the parent ..... and tell the parent sorry we are not inviting your athlete back because of your behavior

I spent allot of money. If my DD worked hard and kept improving I expect her to be back on the team or my money back.

I don't care if you recruited the number 1 girl in the nation

 

[Orange Socks]

And things get even more interesting. We have a tournament this weekend, and Player A said they could not make it (they had family plans). However, they showed up at park to watch a team they practiced with last week that also were playing in same tourney (not to see how they play, but to support them). A few of our parents/kids saw them and chatted and asked why they weren't playing and if they were staying to watch us play (next game after the other team). They said No and left.

The Coach of team they came to watch texted me last night and said it was weird they showed up and left before our game. They also said that this behavior causes some red flags and they would not take this family/player because of it.

They are clearly done with our team, but I think they don't want to quit until they find a new home. I guess I will see where it goes, but now I am getting a lot of questions from parents.

If my DD was teammates with Player A, she would have told her to get lost. She is still bitter about 3 families that bailed on the team at TCS Nationals causing her to catch every bracket game.(3 in a row on the last day)The family's behavior raises more than red flags. I see flashing lights, horns and sirends blaring. Coach please cut me and put me out of my misery. At this point, other players and parents see this player at the park and they probably left because they got busted. This is blatant lying and the funny thing is the other team's coach doesn't want her now. You need to have conversation with this family instead of letting this thing fester. Their behavior says we are out of here, but there has been no communication between them and the coaching staff. Frankly, I would have a quick conversation about the situation and ask them what they want to do instead of leaving the big elephant in the room distracting everyone. It is best to nip in the bud.