Coaching your own DD

[NVfishing]

I am contemplating coaching my DD's league team next year. I coached one of her games this year when requested. I always swore I wouldn't so there would be no "daddy" ball issues but she really responded to me being on the field with her at the same time.

What approaches do you use when coaching your own DD's? Do you think your DD's respond more to you when you are the coach than they do for someone else or do they shut down?

My DD's league coaches did an admirable job this season with my DD and their own. Different positions though.

 

[Hit by the Pitch]

If you are a HC for a league Team all the playing time should be spread around anyways. You need to make sure you treat your DD fairly. I could see me going the way of DD losing innings where she wants to play in order to avoid Issues with other Parents.

Keep a spreadsheet of playing time by position and try to keep it more or less fair for everyone.

I decided I would not be a HC or AC for DD’s Team anymore unless I needed to. DD says she doesn’t care one way or the other. My thinking is that we spend a fair amount of time on SB outside of practice so let her enjoy SB time without me. It sure would be nice to be in charge sometimes though.

 

[kimsch72]

From my own personal experience and from watching my husband coach our DD. Treat her fairly. Meaning, don't continuously harp on things that she does wrong, while the other girls are doing the same and nothing is being said to them. She looks up to you and is you little girl. Always remember that. Totally agree with the other post. Keep up with playing time. My DD winds up setting bench for a game to give other girls a chance to play....while those girls don't always come to practice and she does.

 

[Sparky Guy]

I am contemplating coaching my DD's league team next year. I coached one of her games this year when requested. I always swore I wouldn't so there would be no "daddy" ball issues but she really responded to me being on the field with her at the same time.

Do yourself and your DD favor and do not coach her. Instead, take her out 3 or 4 times a week on your own and work on different aspects of the game such fielding, hitting, base running, sliding, outfield and any thing else you can think of. Pick one or two specific skills and work on those each day. You'll be amazed to find your daughter will not need you to be on the field with her to shine as a player.

My DD's league coaches did an admirable job this season with my DD and their own. Different positions though.

Do you honestly think you could no a better job than the people who are coaching her now? If not then leaver her where she is at. Especially, if she is improving as a player and you're happy with her advancement.

The best thing I ever did was to know how much I didn't know about the game and turn my DD over to a non-parent organization. She was able to perform for any coach she played for during her career. I know if I did coach my DD would have quit the game.

I had to learn how to be a coach before I stepped into the role as a HC for other kids once my DD finished her career. Something far too many parents do not realize before they take control of a team. They end up trying to learn as they go.

 

[sluggers]

NV, I don't recall the age of your DD. What is her age? At the younger ages, there is no alternative to Daddies coaching. As the kids get older, around 14YOA, it is better to let someone else coach your DD.

What approaches do you use when coaching your own DD's?

Usually, the wrong one. My usual approach was to try to treat her like the other kids. It is impossible, of course, but you can try.

Do you think your DD's respond more to you when you are the coach than they do for someone else or do they shut down?

My DDs responded well to me. On teams where the league did not mandate playing time, I relied on my AC to set the playing time for DD.

My DD winds up setting bench for a game to give other girls a chance to play....while those girls don't always come to practice and she does.

And that, in a nutshell, is why Daddies shouldn't coach. One extremely important life lesson is that hard work pays off. Yet, your DD isn't taught that lesson.

Your DD *should* be rewarded for her work and dedication. But, Daddy can't, because most likely the parents would think he is "playing favorites".

DD, unlike the rest of the team, has no control over her PT. She can be much better than everyone else, and yet her PT doesn't change a bit. She can come to every game and every practice, and she gets nothing.

There is, of course, the other Daddy coach who thinks his DD should play every second of every game, but I doubt NV is that kind of a guy.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

After age 14, I had someone else coach my daughter. I would still step in from time to time, when asked to, but I thought that she needed experience having someone else coach her.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Do yourself and your DD favor and do not coach her. Instead, take her out 3 or 4 times a week on your own and work on different aspects of the game such fielding, hitting, base running, sliding, outfield and any thing else you can think of. Pick one or two specific skills and work on those each day. You'll be amazed to find your daughter will not need you to be on the field with her to shine as a player.

I don't disagree, but if everyone took that approach, there wouldn't be enough coaches.

 

[SoftSocDad]

I think NV has younger DDs, as I know I've given him plenty of grief about 8u TB.

NV - I don't think every parent who posts here gets it right in terms of managing their DD's softball journeys, but you seem to be among the more conscientious when it comes to wanting to do the right or best thing with a balanced approach.

I'm thankful to all the mommies and daddies who have given up their time to coach my DD over the years, and I'm sure you'll do fine. I agree to let them go when they get to 14u.

 

[Taxi]

i also think it depends on the girl and the dad. I cringe whenever my brother talks to his DD on the field. He sees where she could be rather than where she is (if that makes sense). This is reflected in the way he coaches her. Luckily he hasnt been her coach for 2 years now, and ive noticed a difference in her attitude.


Your situation sounds different though. Its also Rec league I assume. I know that the rec league in this area is in need of coaches badly, esp coaches with softball knowledge.

 

[mad hornet]

My 13 YO dd played for another coach for the first time since 8u this year during Middle School. It was NICE!