What makes a bad softball parent?

[InTheCrowd]

As a rule, I'm only allowed to get involved at my DD's request. They handle everything unless it starts to get overwhelming. And out of 12 years of softball, only once was I given permission to insert myself into a situation.

My older DD was an awesome player, an 875 batting average (summer rec not travel but she played TB as well), power hitter on the team, a vacuum cleaner in the infield, fast as he'll on the bases. We were proud because she worked her tail off. And she got cut her sophomore year because the JV coach didn't like her. Actually put my DD into a deep depression. I offered to raise some he'll with the school administration and DD asked me not to. I didn't. She won a city championship every year in high school (1 in softball and 3 in gymnastics). We supported her in gymnastics and life went on. She got the last laugh, that coach eventually was fired for being a terrible coach and DD was the only D-1 recruit in her senior class.

Right now with my younger DD, she did ask for my help because this coach made the situation far too overwhelming for DD. This situation is on-going and has calmed down after we met with the coach and the AD. But if DD didn't ask, I never would gotten involved.

As for parents, most that I have come across in our adventures are alright. There's been a few nut-jobs that should be given he wrong direction to the playing field. But I usually point them out and say to DD, "you know, I could act like that too.". And then my DD responds with the evil death glare. JK.

We aren't all bad...

 

[Rambler34]

How about parents who pitch a fit and call the league commisioner to complain that I, the HC, had cancelled a game. It is whiny baby softball to cancel a game just because we are running a little late getting started. Of course it is a bunch of 7 and 8 y/o girls and it is a school night but it did not matter to them if we started a game after 8:30 that had a 1.5 hour time limit. This has become a huge stink for my team. I personally do not want my 2nd grader at the park after 10 on a school night and 7 other groups of parents agreed.

 

[sportzzworld]

lol... funny but true.

 

[bringtheheatmom]

Discuss?

A parent unwilling to discuss issues with the coach, but more than willing to rile up the rest of the parents.

So trying to be a good parent but, at age 14 should the player or the parent talk to the coach?

If just talking to the coach regarding playing time considered a bad parent even if it is done with respect.

Or at this age do you think if the player has a problem, they should talk to the coach?

 

[starsnuffer]

I think the player should talk to the coach at that age. Parents are supposed to prepare their offspring for adulthood. Coaches are supposed to prepare their players for the game they are involved in. A parent "doing things for" their children is not helping to prepare them.

It's fine for the kid to consult their parent off the field, ask for advice on how to talk to the coach (although with some parents the kid might be better off on their own), and then let their parent know how it went, advice on followup, ect. . . but the parent should not be involved directly unless things go south in a very bad way.

It's the kid playing ball, not the parent.

-W

 

[sluggers]

I personally do not want my 2nd grader at the park after 10 on a school night and 7 other groups of parents agreed

Reminds me of one year when my 13 YOA DD was pitching in Blue Island, Illinois (located on the south side of Chicago) at 1 AM on Sunday morning...good times, good times.

 

[Jillsdad]

I am new to this but here is my pet peeve: Parents that cheer wildly when a girl on their DD's team gets on base because of a walk or an error. To me its like applauding a double fault in tennis.

 

[guero_gordo]

Found a real winner today. DD went 1 for 3 hitting, which is already not nearly good enough in her mind, even though she tore it up behind the plate.
Parent on her own team says "What happened, you used to be a hitter".

 

[absdad]

I am new to this but here is my pet peeve: Parents that cheer wildly when a girl on their DD's team gets on base because of a walk or an error. To me its like applauding a double fault in tennis.

People get caught up in hitting and batting stats. On base percentage is the only offensive stat that matters. You can't score, if you don't get on base.

 

[Bishop]

So trying to be a good parent but, at age 14 should the player or the parent talk to the coach?

If just talking to the coach regarding playing time considered a bad parent even if it is done with respect.

Or at this age do you think if the player has a problem, they should talk to the coach?

14yo I'd suggest the player should try talking to the coach first. Perhaps after a little coaching from mom or dad about how to talk things out with authority figures. A good life lesson that will help prepare for the future in dealing with college profs and bosses when mom and pop aren't around to help. I had my 12yo do this last year and it worked out well. She got the answers she needed straight from the person making the decisions and the coach realised he wasn't being as clear as he thought he was with his instruction and has changed how instructs to be better understood. Win/Win.

The big thing, player or parent talking to the coach about getting more play time is how the question is phrased.
Why don't you put me in for more innings?
vs.
What do I need to work on to earn more play time?

Option A insinuates that you have already earned the play time and the coach is wrong for not giving it.
Option B Doesn't challenge the coaches decisions and lets him know you want to work for what you want.