Managing parent expectations

[Momo'sDad]

If I read your OP correctly, it seems to me the only issue you have with her is that she doesn't throw as hard as the other pitchers? She throws about the same percentage of strikes? If not, please disregard the following.

If so, the fact is you haven't seen her pitch in a game yet this fall, so at this point any supposition on your part is based on assumption. Her mother was right: how do you know? Were I her I would have had a hard time keeping my composure if you told me the reason she wouldn't be pitching very much is because it is unsafe for her to do so.

You say it's a "competitive" rec league in the fall, so my guess is the other teams might have trouble hitting her if she is that much slower than average, especially if you bring her in after your fastest pitcher goes through the lineup. But you'll never know because it sounds like she will never have a chance.

When the team was being organized, I did not ask parents what sort of demands they might have. At the 1st meeting, I laid out my policies and protocols, but while I wanted to know which players have private instructors, I never even thought to ask parents about positions or playing time. I also did not promise anyone anything until after the 1st practice, where I quickly identified our best 2 catcher prospects.

I have seen the player pitch in an 8u, but I also saw all but 1 of the other girls and she was not up to their level at the time and the 1 I didn't get to see is our clear #2 right now and could become our #1. Until player hits a growth spurt, I think the only way for her to get up to their level is to really put in a lot of practice time. Because of the nature of our fall season and the number of players we have who want to pitch, Rowdy is correct in saying there won't be nearly enough innings to keep pitchers or their parents happy.

You're correct about the slow pitchers being able to have success against a lot of 10u lineups, especially when you can use them in a relief role. But it can also be a sticky wicket if we're running up against poor OR GOOD hitters who are content to wait on what amounts to soft toss.

I know I sound like a speed-obsessed jerk who isn't giving the kid a reasonable chance because she isn't as fast as the other girls, but that really isn't the case. EVERY player has a chance to earn starting time in the circle (or at other positions), but the #6 pitcher is unlikely to get more than a couple of innings all season on this team.

 

[CoachKevin]

Something to think about. I always held pitching/catching practice 1 hour before team practice. I like to do it an hour before because if it was an hour after practice I wouldn't get the same intensity because they wanted to go home (tried it a couple of times didn't work).

This way you know the pitchers are getting a little work in and you can also develop your catchers at the same time. Trying to do any type of pitching practice during a team practice takes away from what your trying to teach IMO as most pitchers also play other positions.

 

[Momo'sDad]

I'm pleased to announce that, after a quick family conference, the mom called to let me know her DD would be staying in 8u for the fall and the 8u coach has guaranteed she'll start as the #1 pitcher. That's a happy ending.

CoachKevin, I do prefer to have pitchers and catchers come 30-45 minutes early, but the brutal heat made that counter-productive. I've got 2 pitchers who are ready to start, so there's a focus on building up their stamina. The 3 other pitchers are still beginners, but 2 of them could go out in game situations. We're starting from scratch with catcher development, but thankfully, the 2 who'll share that position are quick to the ball and have rifle arms.

 

[Chris O'Leary]

the 8u coach has guaranteed she'll start as the #1 pitcher.

I would never make this promise, so the fact that someone said it is a bit strange to me.

I'd say that is the plan, but I never make guarantees. Guarantees only create problems because things change.

It's like when a kid asks me to pitch in a game, I never tell them "yes" or "no". It's always, "Let me see how the game goes."

Things change.

 

[Momo'sDad]

I know what you're saying, but the coach knows her roster and is thrilled to be getting a player who can pitch. She may not be their #1 all fall, but it's not unreasonable to say that she is right now. With this particular family, a coach is also dealing with trying to keep mom as happy as possible. I know that part stinks, but it's the situation they've got.

On my team, my DD is our #1, but with luck and a lot of work, my hope is that the girl behind her will be challenging for that job within a couple of months.

 

[Mike]

Just so I am clear you guys are talking about 8 thru 10 yo's right? Thats 8.... as in only been on this planet for 8 years....right?

poor kids, IMO of course.

btw,

For example, an 8u player with slow reflexes isn't going to be playing 3B on my team unless I've scouted the other team and know they don't have any big bats.

Thank you for the laugh.

 

[Momo'sDad]

Thank you for the laugh.

You're welcome for the laugh, but when you're a little older, it's possible you will realize why so many parents value the safety of their children.

Many parents will overestimate the talents of their children, regardless of age. It's a fact of life that coaches deal with directly.

 

[Mike]

Here's to missing the point. . Good luck.

 

[Lozza]

Mike these 8 and 9 years are serious players. They can give the older girls a run for their money!

I have girls playing this age who are playing against 10 and 11 year old boys. (yeah I'm not the biggest fan) Not one of them got hit. Not one of them went close to being hit. The balls that went near them hard and fast? They all stopped. I have seen the occasional 'hit in face'. One from a 12 year old pitcher playing with adults. One who had been told a number of times to change her style so she finished better definsivly. One who was an adult her first year in softball who wasn't expecting it.

Take all the precautions you feel is necessary (face masks and so on) but when you are failing to teach little girls the game you are doing it wrong. These girls will not learn unless they are playing it.

Momo I think your heart is in the right place but your team is very close to the line of being DaddyBall. Your daughter is number one pitcher. You discuss team line-ups with her. You ask for her opinion. That is not appropriate with an older girl, let alone an 8 year old. She is above her teammates because she is the coaches daughter.

And all this for rec ball. Where the girls are supposed to be learning the game and having fun.

 

[Momo'sDad]

You're right about the need to teach them the game, but we're primarily a 0- (incoming) and 1st-year 10u team. Several players are coming directly from 8u spring rec, which is coach pitch after 4 balls. At least a couple of the teams we'll face in the seeding tournament will be extremely formidable, all-star quality teams. The other 10u team in our town has 4 or 5 all-stars, including a few who elected to remain in 10u instead of getting ready for 12u. Once that 1st tournament is complete, we'll be placed in a division with teams of similar talent and ability to play league games. That's when we'll see the players get more work at a variety of positions.

I think you may have misread something I stated previously. Discussing softball strategy and talking about how to implement it is teaching. Scouting other teams' pitchers and batters is teaching - not only is she learning the tendencies of opponents, but she's also getting the opportunity to observe what is making other players in her age group successful. There's a reason why so many coaches' kids end up becoming coaches themselves - they've often been taught to identify more things on the field than most other people will.

I set the batting lineup based on a number of different factors and don't discuss those decisions with anyone (except when Mo's mom won't get off my back!), because I'm trying to prepare our team to achieve its end-of-season goals. Regarding roster positions, I'll let someone (including DD) know where they stand at a given position, but I'm rotating the players around anyway during the season as we lead up to the final tournament.

Yes, DD is the #1 pitcher and my spring AC's DD is the #1 catcher, but there is always open competition for EVERY job on teams I coach, and I balance the playing time equally. I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but that is the reason that the parents generally respect what I'm doing for their DDs, despite the fact that I have far less experience and softball knowledge than most other coaches in 10u.