Why I do it....

[SoGASoftball]

I've found myself happier when either DD plays well, and it scares me...

 

[dadofadirtlover]

Why I do (did) it. I did it for my dd. I tried to focus on what her goals for the game were and I let that guide me.

To the OP on your #4. Please say something to her when she does well or not, just remind her that you love to watch her play (good or bad)

Everytime I do, she gets upset and starts to do bad. I tell her plenty on the ride home. That's when she wants my assessments. And I always give her the positives during that time and any room for improvement later.

 

[dadofadirtlover]

I do it because 12 hour days at a softball field are a lot better than 4 hours at a cheer leading competition or a dance recital.....

I'm with you on that!

 

[dadofadirtlover]

The time spent w/ DD is precious, but does that really answer the question?

We could spend time with our daughters doing lots of things.

Why softball?

Would we be this invested if it were drama? Jump rope? Robotics?

Are we this excited to spend time with her when she wants to go shopping? Or plan her birthday party?

If so, why? If not, why? Why softball?

To what extend are we living vicariously through our children? And if we are, is that wrong?

Personally, I'm not living vicariously (IMHO) through DD. She chose SB. This is her 2nd season. If she wants to quit after this season and take up tennis, I'll be finding the best group of tennis folks that were willing to share their experiences. Why? I want her to do as good as she can IF she puts forth the effort and that can only happen at the onset by listening to experts and ignoring idiots. I'm attached to DD far more than I'm attached to SB. With that being said, she is head over hills in love with SB and as a result so am I. But my love for the sport is THROUGH the eyes of DD. If that shifted to another sport, it wouldn't bother me as long as the relationship I have with her stays solid.

.....now talk to me come Sophmore year and see if I say the same about her leaving the sport.....don't know the answer to that right now

 

[JJsqueeze]

I do it to avoid working around the house.

as for living vicariously through them, hell yes I do. proudly. Their joy is the most satisfying feeling in the word to me and their pain is the most excruciating thing I can imagine so...yes, I live vicariously through my girls....except for the makeup thing and the weird affinity for sucky music.

 

[dadofadirtlover]

I do it to avoid working around the house.

as for living vicariously through them, hell yes I do. proudly. Their joy is the most satisfying feeling in the word to me and their pain is the most excruciating thing I can imagine so...yes, I live vicariously through my girls....except for the makeup thing and the weird affinity for sucky music.

We can see that makeup still plastered over your face JJS. It's ok. lol

 

[dadofadirtlover]

You know, if she had chosen the sport I loved growing up (basketball), all bets are off for me. But then again, my relationship with her would not be NEARLY as close as it is now and I'd have a mountain of regret later on. So glad DD went against my wishes and chose SB. She's a smart one!

 

[Il softball fan]

JJ thanks for that post....made me laugh out loud at work. I tell my DD almost on a daily basis that her music is awful.

 

[chinamigarden]

Everytime I do, she gets upset and starts to do bad. I tell her plenty on the ride home. That's when she wants my assessments. And I always give her the positives during that time and any room for improvement later.

definitely after the game, not during

 

[FP26]

I've found myself happier when either DD plays well, and it scares me...

I share your concern, but I am not sure concern is necessary. DD had a biology test yesterday (first time with this class). She was nervous about the test, so I was nervous for her. When I got home from work the first thing I asked was "how was the test?". Her response "aced it!!". I was thrilled for her. So then why does hoping for success on the field need to be a concern? In my opinion we just want to see our children do well and be happy. If that is a bad thing, then I guess I will need to live with it. That said, I do understand that this can become unhealthy depending how far it is taken.