Why I do it....

[dadofadirtlover]

DD has a game against her friend from last season and she really wants to do good. I teased her that if she lost, she's not welcome back in the house or at the very least....no dinner and DEFINITELY no desert! She worked her butt off today (and wants to again tomorrow before the game) to impress her friend because she was the best girl on their team last season in her eyes. So, it's a "changing of the guards" in DD's mind. I think it's "cute" that she is THIS competitive. As much as she is trying to make this about her friend, I'm trying to make it about having a blast displaying your hard work over the summer. Not sure it's kicking in, though. And I have a feeling it won't kick in tomorrow, either. Still, it's a treasure that I won't forget seeing her determination and smile. It's why I do it......

1)why I patrol DFP looking for any nugget I can find (and offering what little help I can, which to date isn't much lol)
2)why I try to never miss a practice
3)why I always push everything else aside when she wants me to "toss her a few" or "put in some work"
4)why I say nothing at the park when she does good or bad (DW says plenty for both of us and she needs a balancing act)
5)why I endured the summer heat as she wanted to put in serious work this summer to get better


When she frustrates me to no end, I remember 1 of these 5 things and it immediately reminds me that this is never going to be long enough so I better cherish EVEN the frustrations.


.....why do you/did you do it?

 

[Mom_Coach_Fan]

Such a great question and I appreciate your thoughtfulness. Reminds me I need to tell my DD more often - "I love to watch you play". Pretty much sums up nicely why I do it.

 

[chinamigarden]

Why I do (did) it. I did it for my dd. I tried to focus on what her goals for the game were and I let that guide me.

To the OP on your #4. Please say something to her when she does well or not, just remind her that you love to watch her play (good or bad)

 

[Coach JV]

Why I did it?
I was lucky enough to realize the sports/childhood window is a short one and I actively
made sacrifices to spend countless hours at the field practicing and coaching my DD. Now that
she is off to college, our relationship is close as can be. This in itself is worth the $$ and time spent
on the road in hotels weary mornings at the park before sunrise etc. Looking back I would not trade a minute of it

 

[JAD]

I do it because 12 hour days at a softball field are a lot better than 4 hours at a cheer leading competition or a dance recital.....

 

[CoogansBluff]

The time spent w/ DD is precious, but does that really answer the question?

We could spend time with our daughters doing lots of things.

Why softball?

Would we be this invested if it were drama? Jump rope? Robotics?

Are we this excited to spend time with her when she wants to go shopping? Or plan her birthday party?

If so, why? If not, why? Why softball?

To what extend are we living vicariously through our children? And if we are, is that wrong?

 

[DNeeld]

To what extend are we living vicariously through our children? And if we are, is that wrong?

I don't think you are living vicariously through your children until you try to make your goals their goals. Or when you start thinking We have a game today or We have to practice today, and so on.

My personal reason for investing so much with my DD in softball and perhaps not other aspects of her life is simple: Its a sport we both enjoy, so its a point of common interest.

 

[CoogansBluff]

I don't think you are living vicariously through your children until you try to make your goals their goals. Or when you start thinking We have a game today or We have to practice today, and so on.

My personal reason for investing so much with my DD in softball and perhaps not other aspects of her life is simple: Its a sport we both enjoy, so its a point of common interest.

Yeah, I think that's a big part for all of us. I love sports. I played sports, enjoyed training, trying to get better at it, etc.

Also, I do live vicariously through my daughter. I admit it. I put her in softball. I wanted her to like it. I wanted her to be good at it. I coached her teams from a young age. I now want her to play in college (wasn't thinking that at all initially, but it is now a realistic possibility). A big part of my life is rooting for her to fulfill her softball goals.

So, admittedly, that's part of why I do it. And it probably was a goal of mine (not necessarily hers initially) that she be involved in something (didn't have to be softball) that challenged her and made her experience success and failure. That's good child development, IMO.

Now, is that wrong? To live vicariously? I don't think so. We just have to realize how dangerous it can be if we don't keep it in check. For me, admitting that I live vicariously allows me to set boundaries for myself so that I don't act out on my own agenda and let her be herself. Not saying I've done a perfect job, but getting better.

 

[YoungBuck]

For those of you who have DDs that have more than one house it's 'extra time' you other wise wouldn't have.

 

[Il softball fan]

Great question CoogansBluff. I don't know that I have an answer that I can verbalize. Hard to explain why. I don't really know why, or what caused it, first year 10U level, after watching all the hard work at practices come together, and watching the first game, where you could tell that the girls were loving it, and everything just clicked, I instantly fell in love with the game of softball. I can watch softball all day long. I love watching my DD play, but I can also enjoy a game where I know noone on the field.

Here's the kicker that I just cant explain either. I played soccer from 5 years old through one year of playing at a JUCO. My son played soccer from the time he was 7 or 8 years old all the way through high school. He was in select level soccer, and was a great soccer player. I practiced with him, I went to all his practices I could, all the games I could. He finished 5th in school history for scoring at his high school. I loved watching him play. But the thing is, I didn't LOVE soccer like I do softball. I never once seeked out a soccer message board, or discussion board. I cant explain it, but that is just how it is.