Which team to coach?

[obbay]

I just thought I'd throw this out here to see if anyone can help with my decision.
Next year DD will be moving up to U12 and I will be coaching the team she goes to for the next 3 years..

The question is, do I take the team I previously assisted with from the guys I used to coach U12 with (Team A)?
or

go to a new team (team B) with the two guys I coached U10 with this spring?

All but 4 of Team A will be new players. I helped out a bit with the team in the beginning of the season and a couple times during the season. The coaches would like me to carry on the team, one of the coaches offered to stay and assist even though his DD won't be there. The best pitcher in the league has one more year on that team, she knows me from the previous season and she's on my winterball team. I like her and her family (unrelated to this, her uncle has started pitching lessons with my DD) and she could be a good mentor for my DD who is also a pitcher.

Team B-I had fun coaching with these guys but head coach may be too concerned with winning and his daughter. I'm about developing talent in all the players, he has come right out and told me he likes to focus on a skilled core to carry the team. The thing is, the three of us provided a well balanced coaching act. Head coach also favors the 3rd coaches DD (also a pitcher) who isn't that good. 3rd coach is like me and wants his DD to earn her place. All 3 coaches DD's are pitchers so this year My DD was third in line for pitching. After head coach had a fallingout with his DD and she was no longer allowed to pitch, he discovered that my DD was actually a good pitcher. the other two DDs and my DD have become friends.

So I'm not sure which way to go. go it alone and try to develop a competent assist. coaching staff or stay with last year's crew. I haven't given you enough info either, but if anyone can offer cues I should look for to point to the best decision, that would be great.

Thanks!

 

[sluggers]

(Geez...maybe I've been in girls sports for too long. It seems like I really have "seen it all".)

I would go with Team A and forget Team B.

First, you are going to get cliques. Cliques among young girls are awful, and he already has defined one--"the skilled core". Your DD will start out being in the "skilled core" clique. At some point, your DD will no longer be in that clique. (You have to trust me on this...)

Second, do you want to be associated with a team that doesn't work to make all the kids better? If you do, how can you take money from the parents of the "un-skilled" players? Aren't you selling them snake oil?

Team B's head coach probably is a smooth talker. But, the kids on his team will not become better. He will play his DD more than any other kid. When the team loses, it will never be his DD's fault. He will spend most of the year saying stuff like, "If we only had a better [[INSERT POSITION]], we would be great. We'll get [[INSERT NAME]] for next year.".

 

[calgofo]

IMO, it really all boils down to doing whats best for you and your daughter. I can assure you from past expierience that is what everyone else will do. They will look out for their daughters interest first.

 

[SnocatzDad]

Quite honestly this is a decision I would leave up to your daughter. You'll get the most out of her if she is where she wants to be. It may turn out that she'll figure out halfway through next year that she made a poor choice, but it will be her choice not yours.

If she's genuinely interested in developing as a player most of that individual development happens through practicing on your own outside the team and or getting professional instruction at camps/clinics etc. Getting her exposure to some of those camps/clinics will have her learning alongside other serious players and at some point she'll decide if she wants to play with a team of players like that or just stay with her own group of friends who may or may not be that committed. Don't start making three year plans for your 11 yr old, thats a sure recipe to have her playing soccer 2 years from now

 

[sluggers]

Please note that Obbay is going to coach. So, having an 11 YOA girl pick who an adult is going to coach with is a recipe for disaster.

If Obbay weren't coaching, the DD perhaps should pick. But, Obbay is coaching. So, it is his decision, not his DD's.

 

[obbay]

As Ray said I will coach and DD will follow.

I am ultimately trying to do what's best for DD and I think it comes down to the fact that if I have her on a daddyball team (even if she is in the favored clique, has friends there and it may be a "winning" team), I don't think it would be in her best interest.

It makes it difficult when the coaches are your friends and we have older DDs playing together.
I think that even though it will be a bigger challenge and more work, it's also an opportunity so I'll go for team "A".

Thank you all for your responses, it really helped being able to bounce it off you guys. Now, in about 6 months you'll start seeing posts from me asking where should I start with this team and what did I get myself into!

 

[SnocatzDad]

This is a kids sport right? Why would the parents (coaches) experience come before the kid (players) experience?

I've coached teams where my kid was the best player and where she was one of the bottom 3, I've gotten something out of both experiences. What mattered to me was her personal engagement in the sport. For whatever reason this sport caught her interest in a way that others hadn't and suddenly we're working outside of practice, attending clinics, working in the basement in the winter, at her request not mine. Her latest team was one where I wasn't going to coach at all, but it was a big step up for her and what she wanted to do, I'd been to about 6 coaching clinics and spent a lot of time and some money trying to make myself a better coach to help her be a better player, but when she had a choice between playing on a very good team where I would coach and a great team that she wanted to play on and I wouldn't coach, I didn't hesitate to support her decision.

I'm not saying you don't offer her any guidance or opinion about what she would get out of each team, and you can go so far as to intimate that there is a correct answer, but I really think the path to getting kids engaged is to make them feel like they have some control over their sports activity and give them opportunities to make choices to get better. I've seen plenty of girls that are passive agressive enough that if you start telling them what to do rather than making them feel part of the process they'll find ways to take back control that you won't like (i.e. welcome to soccer or lacrosse).

From the above it doesn't sound like we're talking about OC Batbusters vs Rec ball, it sounds like two reasonably equitable teams or you wouldn't be asking for advice because one would be the obvious choice.

 

[calgofo]

This is a kids sport right? Why would the parents (coaches) experience come before the kid (players) experience?

I've coached teams where my kid was the best player and where she was one of the bottom 3, I've gotten something out of both experiences. What mattered to me was her personal engagement in the sport. For whatever reason this sport caught her interest in a way that others hadn't and suddenly we're working outside of practice, attending clinics, working in the basement in the winter, at her request not mine. Her latest team was one where I wasn't going to coach at all, but it was a big step up for her and what she wanted to do, I'd been to about 6 coaching clinics and spent a lot of time and some money trying to make myself a better coach to help her be a better player, but when she had a choice between playing on a very good team where I would coach and a great team that she wanted to play on and I wouldn't coach, I didn't hesitate to support her decision.

I'm not saying you don't offer her any guidance or opinion about what she would get out of each team, and you can go so far as to intimate that there is a correct answer, but I really think the path to getting kids engaged is to make them feel like they have some control over their sports activity and give them opportunities to make choices to get better. I've seen plenty of girls that are passive agressive enough that if you start telling them what to do rather than making them feel part of the process they'll find ways to take back control that you won't like (i.e. welcome to soccer or lacrosse).

From the above it doesn't sound like we're talking about OC Batbusters vs Rec ball, it sounds like two reasonably equitable teams or you wouldn't be asking for advice because one would be the obvious choice.

OC Batbusters for the win. I keed.

 

[alexander58]

It is silly to let young girls choose which team they would like to play for. That is why kids aren't allowed to drive until they're 16 or drink until they're 21. They are ill-equipped to make significant decisions of any weight for themselves . I haven't seen one of those DD decisions work out.

 

[Ken Krause]

I think everyone is once again assuming that Obbay's daughter's ultimate goal is to play for Mike Candrea at Arizona, and thus she must be on the best possible team that will give her the most training and exposure so she can fulfill that goal. That may not be the case. She may like playing softball and competing, but doesn't have any fully formed dreams of playing D1 college softball. If that's the case, why not at least seek her input as to where she'd like to play? If she winds up on a team that's a poor fit, or that she doesn't like, Obbay's experience is going to be a lot more miserable than most of us can imagine.

Kids these days are surprisingly perceptive. If we're really in it for the kids, then their thoughts ought to be kept in mind. If they have no preference, or won't express an opinion, they had their chance and will have to live with the consequences. Either way, lesson learned.