- Jun 8, 2011
- 25
- 0
I will try to make this short. Let me give you some abbreviated history. My twin girls started playing softball in first grade. We moved out of state when they were in third grade. We then signed them up for rec ball through the local community sports organization. My DH became good friends with the softball commishioner. They noticed a core group of girls who had talent and were frustrated with rec (and whose parents did not want to drive far to practice for the established select teams in our state and they did not want to go to or pay for tourneys EVERY weekend). So after the first year of 10U rec,they formed an all-star team and played in 2 'C' tournies and did really well. So, they decided to go year round select with this core group for second year of 10U. My DH was made manager and 2 other dads were coaches. They played 1 fall tourney and came in first place. They signed up for 6 spring/summer tourneys and joined a 'C' league to play games on the off weekends. Again they did really well...even took 'C' Eastern World Series Championship. The league games were a joke and no competition for us, so my DH wanted to go 'B' this year and just play in more tourneys. He feels it's better to play tougher- more competitive teams even if you don't win everything. One of the other coaches, who had a ton of control as my DH is very laid back and this guy is not, he did not want to go 'B' and play more tourneys...he liked getting the trophies and his DD (our #1 pitcher) was also a competitive dancer and we had to schedule around her dance schedule and she couldn't do more tourneys. But, this guy agreed and we formed a 12U team in August and played in 2 fall tourneys and did badly (most of the team were 11 and our pitchers were just starting with the 12 inch ball and 40 feet . Plus this coach was a raging lunatic who berated the girls and threw stuff around and had the girls scared/stressed and in tears all the time). This jerk ended up leaving to form his own team and took 1/2 the girls with him...it was ugly. He started his mutiny 3 days before our 1st fall tourney and had this whole conniving calculated plan and totally riped apart our team throughout the fall. So off he went with 6 of our 12 players. But we plodded along adding players as we could and did winter workouts and then started our spring season with 11 players (now have 12 because 1 of the core who went with jerk has come back to us because he's such a jerk and so bad that his team is losing all their games...Karma). Most girls added were not really 'B' players, but we had to make the best go of it. We've done several tourneys and they are actually doing way better than we imagined and earned a berth to the 'B' Worlds. But, the families are super 'rec' and we have difficulty getting girls to show up and they want to cancel if it's hot and they complain about playing time and whatnot and they don't want to schedule too much and only 1 or 2 help with field prep and warming up pitchers and the other coaches come late or can't make practices. I manage 2 websites that have all the info they could ever need (and my DH sends out e-mails with weekly schedule), yet we get texts/calls/e-mails as we're trying to get out of the door...asking what time...which uniform...address of field...so-and-so is going to be late...etc. The girls are all nice good girls and the parents are nice and fun...but my DH just doesn't want to manage next year...he's worn out. He also feels that pitchers parents should not be managers...this forum is full of examples that back this (of people complaining that the managers DD gets all the pitching time).
So here is my dilemma...I wanted my girls to go to true 'A' or even 'B' team who did tourneys every weekend with players who were of 'select mentality' not 'rec mentality'...who eat, sleep and breathe softball like my girls do and don't miss 1/2 of practices for girl scouts, dance, family time, birthday parties, etc. My DH and I took them to a try-out(back in August) and tried to convince them to make the jump and they did not want to leave their team of friends...so we stayed and then all heck broke loose. They wanted to stay with their friends and they all left (core of 6 came up from last year's 10U team and 4 of them left with the jerk coach- my 2 DDs remained with 4 we had added in August). But now they are friends with this new team and they don't want to leave their friends. But we feel it's time. My DDs could play for an established 'A' team...they are being recruited. But my girls are so loyal to this current team even if it means less playing and less winning. They get frustrated with their teamates who make a lot of errors, but yet they want to stick around. And the parents want my DH to manage and we are getting bombarded with ?s. My DH feels guilty about leaving behind something he helped build and he falls for our DDs pouting about wanting to stay with their friends. He could be convinced to stay, but not manage (coach and work with pitchers)...and that is the worst option in my opinion...the possible new managers don't know softball and/or are BIG 'rec' mentality coaches. I want to move on. Our DDs realize that they most likely will move on, but they are not happy about it. We do love these families. Should we stay or should we go and if we're going...how and when do we let the cat out of the bag? We have to get through States and 2 other tourneys and then Worlds.
So here is my dilemma...I wanted my girls to go to true 'A' or even 'B' team who did tourneys every weekend with players who were of 'select mentality' not 'rec mentality'...who eat, sleep and breathe softball like my girls do and don't miss 1/2 of practices for girl scouts, dance, family time, birthday parties, etc. My DH and I took them to a try-out(back in August) and tried to convince them to make the jump and they did not want to leave their team of friends...so we stayed and then all heck broke loose. They wanted to stay with their friends and they all left (core of 6 came up from last year's 10U team and 4 of them left with the jerk coach- my 2 DDs remained with 4 we had added in August). But now they are friends with this new team and they don't want to leave their friends. But we feel it's time. My DDs could play for an established 'A' team...they are being recruited. But my girls are so loyal to this current team even if it means less playing and less winning. They get frustrated with their teamates who make a lot of errors, but yet they want to stick around. And the parents want my DH to manage and we are getting bombarded with ?s. My DH feels guilty about leaving behind something he helped build and he falls for our DDs pouting about wanting to stay with their friends. He could be convinced to stay, but not manage (coach and work with pitchers)...and that is the worst option in my opinion...the possible new managers don't know softball and/or are BIG 'rec' mentality coaches. I want to move on. Our DDs realize that they most likely will move on, but they are not happy about it. We do love these families. Should we stay or should we go and if we're going...how and when do we let the cat out of the bag? We have to get through States and 2 other tourneys and then Worlds.
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