We quit our team today

[grcsftbll]

Communication was a HUGE problem, you're right about that. Probably at the bottom of it all that was the biggest problem.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

I feel kind of sick but we had to do it. I'm going to miss all the girls and parents so much. But it was not the right place for our kiddo. The coach...well, we just did not mesh & he was not a good coach for her. Today we played a 3-game friendly and he picked up players, and sat his own players. Who picks up players for what is essentially a glorified scrimmage? Isn't the point of the scrimmage to get your own players practice? It's really been quite a nauseating experience watching him suck up to the parents of the players he is trying to woo. Kind of amusing, too, if I'm honest. He played 9. In scrimmages. He is obsessed with winning; I think it's an ego thing. When we joined the team it was all "player development" and "we'll lose a lot but it's ok because we'll develop our players." Lies, i tell ya. He thinks the parents all love him but I listen to them talk, and let's just say that while we were the first to walk away, it's unlikely we will be the last.

So anyway. The dilemma now is finding a new team. It's not so much finding a spot for her as picking the right spot. She's a kick butt pitcher and can play any position when she's not pitching. We've got several offers but we're gun shy right now. This fall/winter has been awful. It has kicked our kid's confidence in the butt and has made us pretty wary. Our plan right now is to pick up with some of these teams that want her and see how we like them. I am definitely afraid of jumping into anything too fast. Any advice on this??

OK, so I am REALLY late to this thread and I only read the OP. However, that got me to thinking a little bit:

You're leaving the team because he used pick up players that he is trying to woo. Now, you plan on picking up with teams trying to woo you, and you expect her to play when this happens.

Does anyone else see anything wrong with this picture?

 

[grcsftbll]

OK, so I am REALLY late to this thread and I only read the OP. However, that got me to thinking a little bit:

You're leaving the team because he used pick up players that he is trying to woo. Now, you plan on picking up with teams trying to woo you, and you expect her to play when this happens.

Does anyone else see anything wrong with this picture?

This has been discussed, if you feel like reading through 10 pages to find it. It wasn't a tournament he picked up for, it was a friendly. Practice for his girls, whom he sat, and gave to girls the team will be playing against tomorrow. Literally letting the team's competition get his own team's practice time. And one of them at least is not interested in being on the team, and already turned him down last time he tried. All 3 teams we're picking up with are actively seeking players they need, for positions my daughter plays. They are short on pitchers and infielders, and need to add a girl (or in at least one case, they need 3-4 girls). The team we left didn't have those gaps. It's more, let me try to suck up every single good player I can get my hands on even though I have a great team already. It's short sighted, because when you do that you also lose good players. I'm big on loyalty. It's important to me. Someone who's willing to harm his own players' development for girls who aren't on the team can't really inspire much of that.

And you might have missed the whole communication issue - what he said his intention was for the team v. what he actually did. The expectations he gave the parents, versus how he actually behaved. If his plan was to snatch up 11 talented players, get them committed, then proceed to pick up girls anyway, he should have said that. He should not have pretended he cared about player development. If he isn't capable of building a good team and needs ready-made talent, he should be honest enough to say so (though that's part of the confusion & annoyance so many of the parents are feeling - the team is *already* talented). And this is not 14U or 16U. This is 10U. We're not trying to get scouts to notice us; the girls just want to play ball.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

Yeah, sorry. I didn't read anything else and don't really have time to go over the 10 pages, as much as I'd like to.
That's pretty crappy at 10U. Heck, I don't pick up players at any age.

I still find it ironic, however, that you feel it is OK for your daughter to pick up and deprive another girl of PT, regardless of the situation.

Much better to just go practice with the teams you're interested in and go watch their games. Both will tell you all you need to know.

 

[grcsftbll]

I get what you're saying but if they actually need players why is picking up wrong? Now, our old coach needs a pitcher/1B because he lost one. So it would make sense for him to pick one up. The team we're playing with tomorrow would literally not be playing if we weren't picking up with them. They've only got 7. They're picking up mine and 2 others. We have no interest in joining a team that doesn't actually need our daughter so we're looking at the teams that are actively looking, not just talent scouting mid season.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

All fine and good.

I just don't see anything that says "upgrade" about going to a team that can only muster seven girls for a tourney the first week of March. It sounds to me like more heartache waiting to happen.

 

[Eric F]

I still find it ironic, however, that you feel it is OK for your daughter to pick up and deprive another girl of PT, regardless of the situation.

Much better to just go practice with the teams you're interested in and go watch their games. Both will tell you all you need to know.

If the team is actively looking for players to fill holes in their roster, I see no harm in accepting an invitation to play in a friendly. For example, a team may have enough players to field a team, but some are playing in spots that don't suit their skills, or the team is looking for additional depth in a particular area.

 

[grcsftbll]

All fine and good.

I just don't see anything that says "upgrade" about going to a team that can only muster seven girls for a tourney the first week of March. It sounds to me like more heartache waiting to happen.

They're very likely not going to be the one we go with. I feel the same way. My dd's BFF is on the team which is why we're doing it, mostly. They'll have fun playing together again.

Both the other 2 just need 1, a pitcher/middle infielder, which is what mine is (she's really a utility infielder, can play anywhere but catcher, but her favorite is SS). They're also the 2 that will play the more competitive tournaments. Hopefully one will be a good fit. We shall see.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

They're very likely not going to be the one we go with. I feel the same way. Me dd's BFF is on the team which is why we're doing it, mostly. They'll have fun playing together again.

Both the other 2 just need 1, a pitcher/middle infielder, which is what mine is (she's really a utility infielder, can play anywhere but catcher, but her favorite is SS). They're also the 2 that will play the more competitive tournaments. Hopefully one will be a good fit. We shall see.

Good. I'm just trying to look out for her.

I've seen it many times before when folks leave a team and feel they've been wronged, they sometimes try a little too hard to go where their DD is wanted rather than trying to find the best fit.

It is always better for a girl who is a good player to go where she is wanted and where that team is in some demand, as well.

 

[grcsftbll]

All the input had been really helpful, including the chill the heck out stuff. I imagine in 2 years I will be amused by this whole thing. It's harder when you're in the middle of it!