We quit our team today

[grcsftbll]

I feel kind of sick but we had to do it. I'm going to miss all the girls and parents so much. But it was not the right place for our kiddo. The coach...well, we just did not mesh & he was not a good coach for her. Today we played a 3-game friendly and he picked up players, and sat his own players. Who picks up players for what is essentially a glorified scrimmage? Isn't the point of the scrimmage to get your own players practice? It's really been quite a nauseating experience watching him suck up to the parents of the players he is trying to woo. Kind of amusing, too, if I'm honest. He played 9. In scrimmages. He is obsessed with winning; I think it's an ego thing. When we joined the team it was all "player development" and "we'll lose a lot but it's ok because we'll develop our players." Lies, i tell ya. He thinks the parents all love him but I listen to them talk, and let's just say that while we were the first to walk away, it's unlikely we will be the last.

So anyway. The dilemma now is finding a new team. It's not so much finding a spot for her as picking the right spot. She's a kick butt pitcher and can play any position when she's not pitching. We've got several offers but we're gun shy right now. This fall/winter has been awful. It has kicked our kid's confidence in the butt and has made us pretty wary. Our plan right now is to pick up with some of these teams that want her and see how we like them. I am definitely afraid of jumping into anything too fast. Any advice on this??

 

[Seattlecoach]

Take it slow. If your daughter is in demand and you are confident you can find her a spot no reason to rush.

Go to practices and, if possible, games with other teams. Be upfront by saying you aren't ready to commit yet so you aren't using these other teams. Be respectful of their time and the players that they have. Talk to parents, let your dd get to know the girls. Then pick.

 

[grcsftbll]

That sounds exactly right. Thanks

 

[CoogansBluff]

When we joined the team it was all "player development" and "we'll lose a lot but it's ok because we'll develop our players." Lies, i tell ya.

Every 10U coach says it's about player development.

But here is what a player-development 10U coach looks like ...

1. He (or she) does not use pickup players except in emergencies.
2. He doesn't make mid-season roster changes that aren't necessary.
3. He doesn't gripe about umpires or have much to say to them because they're largely irrelevant to his goals.
4. He bats his full roster (which they keep small) even in bracket games
5. He trains players for multi-positions and uses them in multi-positions.

I'm sure there are a few others. All these tryout ads say they develop players, but this questionnaire would provide a truer picture of what they really stand for.

 

[grcsftbll]

That is very helpful and makes perfect sense. Thanks!

 

[Lickety Split]

Focus less on the "I" and the "we" and more on the "she" and "her".

Nail down what she wants from travel ball. Does she want a softball scholarship to help pay for college? Is she playing Travel to play at the highest level available now and through HS? It's tough to pick a team if you don't know what her agenda is by wanting to play travel ball.

Once you know her agenda you will have a easier time picking a team and program that has the best "system" in place to help achieve her goals. Unfortunately the best team and program for your daughter might not bring the best coach or might bring game scenarios that are screwed up.

And that's fine because in life you don't always get to choose your boss, but if it's the perfect job and good money, you learn to deal.

Regardless, find the team and system that provides what your daughter wants, one you can afford and one that is compatible with your family life. Until then network your daughter as an available or guest player for teams in need. While doing that conduct as much research as you can to find the best team and system.

 

[grcsftbll]

She's a young 9 and her goals are simple. She wants to play. Primarily she wants to pitch. She made the decision to leave today. She finally realized what we'd noticed for months, that no amount of work or progress or positive attitude was going to improve this situation.

We're picking up Saturday with our old coach's new team. It's not the level of play we want long term but she can play with her best friend, who's a catcher. She'll be #1 pitcher and SS, her 2 favorite things. She's happy about that.

The following weekend we're going to play with an 06 team I have a good feeling about. They're new and learning, but playing tough teams. Mine prefers playing the tough teams. It's more fun for her.

 

[KPower]

Just going to play devil's advocate here - if your DD is guest playing this coming weekend and will be the #1 pitcher and SS I would be wary of that team. That is exactly what the coach of the team you just left just did - right? Picked a girl up who played above his own players?

We were in a similar aituation recently (except my DD is a catcher). I won't go into the whole long story but what coach said and what he did did not match up. I think he found his self worth from the wins little 10/11 years olds made. Pretty ridiculous! Player development? What a joke! We have been so close to walking away. Ultimately I let DD decide and she said she made a commitment and wanted to honor that until the season is over. I think it is good that you let your DD make the decision. I would take your time and like the earlier poster said let othet teams know where you stand. Your DD sounds pretty talented so I'm sure she wil find a good fit soon!

 

[Ariel116]

Teams all over the area looking for 10U right now on coaches corner. Pitchers are always in demand but if your daughter is an 06, find her another 06 team because that is where she will get more circle time. Do not try to put her on an 05 team because chances are that she will not pitch. I would also avoid any 06 teams that have 05 pitchers and any teams where the HC has a kid that pitches. Also do not be so concerned about her playing A level right now, go with a good B level team if that gets her the most time in the circle because at the end of the day, this is what is going to help her more than anything. Next year she can move back up to A with a lot more experience under her and then you can pick and choose who you want to go with. If you don't want to commit to a team for Spring, let her pick up for others because there will be plenty looking.

 

[sluggers]

Today we played a 3-game friendly and he picked up players, and sat his own players.

Congratulations! 40 years of being around this sport, and I thought I had heard everything. But, just when I thought coaching stupidity could not get any worse...

I am definitely afraid of jumping into anything too fast. Any advice on this??

You might want to try to get her to "guest" on some teams and see how it works out.

If your DD is good, you have to approach finding the right team like it is a job.

That is:

1) Your DD needs to treat the kids on the team like business associates. She might find some she really likes. She might not. (If she hates her teammates, that is another story.)
2) She needs friends separate from softball.