Son of NC State basketball coach plays high school ball. He says in the article below, “I’ve never been in a situation where the coach was telling me something in one ear and my dad was saying something else in the other.''
Have you ever told your daughter that her coach is wrong and to do it another way?
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N.C. State basketball coach Mark Gottfried evaluates players all the time.
But he discovered years ago that it is impossible to evaluate his children as athletes and knows that there is no way that he can impartially judge the play of his son Cameron, a junior starting point guard at Broughton High School.
“I’m not his coach. I’m his dad,” Gottfried said recently.
Gottfried recognizes what many parents do not: that taking an objective look at his child as an athlete is not just hard, it can’t be done.
Just like a golfer who remembers only the good shots, parents remember the best games, the best passes, the biggest hits. And parents are emotionally involved.
None of which helps to give an impartial evaluation of athletic potential.
Gottfried works with Cameron in the gym occasionally and talks basketball if Cam wants to, but Gottfried said his son has only one coach, Broughton High’s Jeff Ferrell.
“I can only coach one team at a time,” Gottfried said. “I would never try to coach Cam when he’s on somebody else’s team. Jeff Ferrell does a tremendous job. We talk about many things, but rarely talk about how my son is playing. What I want to be is a dad pulling for his son.”
Ferrell said whenever a player is caught between his coach and a parent, regardless of who the parent is, the player always loses. Should the player listen to his coach or to his parent?
“In that situation, the player cannot win,” Ferrell said. “If there is conflict between a player’s parents and me, the child is the one that is hurt the most.
“When I talk with parents, I ask them to try to keep the child first. Their child is a very important part of my life now, and I know he is to them. We both want what is best.”
Cameron Gottfried, who got more serious about basketball after becoming a varsity starter as a freshman at Gulf Shores, Ala., two years ago, said there has never been a problem with his dad pressuring him to play or contradicting his coach.
“I’ve never been in a situation where the coach was telling me something in one ear and my dad was saying something else in the other,” he said.
Mark Gottfried said he has seen the problems that can be created when parents have a difficult time accepting a coach’s autonomy.
“I’m a coach that also deals with parents, and I have seen parents ruin the player’s experience,” Gottfried said. “I don’t want to be a part of something that would make it more difficult on my son. I just want to support him just as much as I can.”
Ferrell said Mark Gottfried understands how to support his son, but never undermine or demean the high school coach.
“Mark walks in my shoes, although at much higher level,” Ferrell said. “At the end of the day, Mark is a coach and also a dad. I’m Cam’s coach. Mark has been in my shoes. He coaches other fathers’ sons. I’m very fortunate that he knows what we are trying to do and he reaffirms it.”
Have you ever told your daughter that her coach is wrong and to do it another way?
What do you think of this article?
Read on ...
N.C. State basketball coach Mark Gottfried evaluates players all the time.
But he discovered years ago that it is impossible to evaluate his children as athletes and knows that there is no way that he can impartially judge the play of his son Cameron, a junior starting point guard at Broughton High School.
“I’m not his coach. I’m his dad,” Gottfried said recently.
Gottfried recognizes what many parents do not: that taking an objective look at his child as an athlete is not just hard, it can’t be done.
Just like a golfer who remembers only the good shots, parents remember the best games, the best passes, the biggest hits. And parents are emotionally involved.
None of which helps to give an impartial evaluation of athletic potential.
Gottfried works with Cameron in the gym occasionally and talks basketball if Cam wants to, but Gottfried said his son has only one coach, Broughton High’s Jeff Ferrell.
“I can only coach one team at a time,” Gottfried said. “I would never try to coach Cam when he’s on somebody else’s team. Jeff Ferrell does a tremendous job. We talk about many things, but rarely talk about how my son is playing. What I want to be is a dad pulling for his son.”
Ferrell said whenever a player is caught between his coach and a parent, regardless of who the parent is, the player always loses. Should the player listen to his coach or to his parent?
“In that situation, the player cannot win,” Ferrell said. “If there is conflict between a player’s parents and me, the child is the one that is hurt the most.
“When I talk with parents, I ask them to try to keep the child first. Their child is a very important part of my life now, and I know he is to them. We both want what is best.”
Cameron Gottfried, who got more serious about basketball after becoming a varsity starter as a freshman at Gulf Shores, Ala., two years ago, said there has never been a problem with his dad pressuring him to play or contradicting his coach.
“I’ve never been in a situation where the coach was telling me something in one ear and my dad was saying something else in the other,” he said.
Mark Gottfried said he has seen the problems that can be created when parents have a difficult time accepting a coach’s autonomy.
“I’m a coach that also deals with parents, and I have seen parents ruin the player’s experience,” Gottfried said. “I don’t want to be a part of something that would make it more difficult on my son. I just want to support him just as much as I can.”
Ferrell said Mark Gottfried understands how to support his son, but never undermine or demean the high school coach.
“Mark walks in my shoes, although at much higher level,” Ferrell said. “At the end of the day, Mark is a coach and also a dad. I’m Cam’s coach. Mark has been in my shoes. He coaches other fathers’ sons. I’m very fortunate that he knows what we are trying to do and he reaffirms it.”
