Teenage Girls, Softball and Bullying

[obbay]

Re: Bullying - We had some of that before our present HS Varsity coach came in. The previous coach was too easy on the team and the lunatics wound up running the asylum. Each subsequent season saw the track team pick up a few players.

Our "new" coach accepts no attitude from his players. He and the AD have incorporated a zero-tolerance policy that involves suspension from school and removal from the team. He has explained this to the parents in no uncertain terms. If your kid doesn't toe the line, they are gone and retain a black mark on their record that no college will want to bother with.

the overall program has improved exponentially since he took the reins.

A coach needs to be in charge and take charge.

 

[Coach JV]

OBBAY- well put, congrats to that coach

 

[SoftSocDad]

No misunderstanding between travel and school ball for me. Same kids, same coaches and same goals in the short and long term. Yeah, I know. We are doing it wrong. I hear it all the time.

I'd like to suggest it's a cultural thing. Our girls get it from 10u up. School ball is for winning championships. Summer ball is about building skills to be able to win championships in school ball.

I absolutely believe in and support this. It's all about getting a community to buy into the program you're selling and for those who do, the winning becomes contagious...and special.

I know that everyone of every level of ability and degree of interest in the game is welcome on the field of play, but I much prefer to be around those who want to give 100% every time out, even if it's just fielding practice.

And although I don't have nearly enough anecdotal evidence to support this hypothesis, I would bet dimes to doughnuts that there's a lot less bullying and jealousy expressed in programs like yours, Bishop.

 

[Bishop]

And to get back to the original point, I think a team culture like you describe would actually discourage bullying -- everyone (coaches, kids parents) would know the score and I imagine team leaders would emerge whose only goal is winning that state championship.

Where are you from in Illinois (so I can watch your 2A success!)?

Building leaders is probably one of our weaker areas in the summer program. The teams, I've worked with I mean. I wouldn't comment on the older age groups are accomplishing I'm not really in the loop there. It's something I definitely want to get better at in the next couple years. It's clearly been missing and has hurt us without question.

Olympia School district is where we are from. That big patch of corn and bean fields between Bloomington, Peoria and Lincoln. Our summer program is Oly Fire. If I remember correctly our summer ball teams have played each other.

 

[BrianMonk]

And although I don't have nearly enough anecdotal evidence to support this hypothesis, I would bet dimes to doughnuts that there's a lot less bullying and jealousy expressed in programs like yours, Bishop.

While there are a ton of people that support that program through various ways, the "leader" of the program is one of the best softball coaches you'll find anywhere. It can work when you have that at the top. If you don't have that at the top, it's much more difficult to make it work.

 

[SoftSocDad]

If bullying is going on, then it is up to the coaches, parents, ie, the adults, to put an immediate stop to it.

No "girls will be girls" attitude should be allowed just as "boys will be boys" is an excuse. If adults joke or put forward teen stereotypes in front of teens, I think it encourages the behavior. It would be better if it was said "a teenager would not bully a teen, they just don't." Imagine that.....

Although we all see the line differently, 'creating drama for the sake of drama' is not the same as 'bullying'.

Parents who over-involve themselves in adolescent drama are part of the problem, not the solution.

Contrary to many adults' beliefs, kids are actually capable of working out many of their own issues and need to be allowed the freedom to do that.

 

[Bishop]

While there are a ton of people that support that program through various ways, the "leader" of the program is one of the best softball coaches you'll find anywhere. It can work when you have that at the top. If you don't have that at the top, it's much more difficult to make it work.

High praise considering the butt whoopin' your girls layed down on us at the firecracker. My daughter walks funny from time to time. I'm pretty sure she's having flashbacks of that game.

True, he knows a thing or two about the game and how to teach it. He's definitely the glue that holds it all together. He's pretty good about putting a boot in your butt to get you pointed in the right direction too. Definitely fortunate to get to assist him last summer, I learned more in the last 8 months than I had in the previous 3 years collectively.

Will I get to see you tomorrow night? I think we are playing your daughters school. Where's that evil smiley dude at when you need him?

 

[Hollyrockartist]

Amen, Brother Ben, shot a rooster, killed a hen....

Parents who over-involve themselves in adolescent drama are part of the problem, not the solution.

Can I get an AMEN??!! Having gone through this with DD and some major pot stirring parents myself, I couldn't agree more with that statement. Often times, parents are the problem. Little Lucy comes home from a bad practice...."Coach made me do so and so....she put Precious Polly in front of me..." Parents call Coach using vile language - essentially bullying. What happens at the next practice? Little Lucy gets her way on everything, nothing is said to her for fear of parentals and girls who don't whine, complain, blah, blah, get the shaft. Fair? Certainly not, but can see the flip side (Coach's) of not wanting to be constantly hounded by Little Lucy's parents for every move he/she makes and, in some cases, doesn't want to get involved with "the dramarama".

Best case scenario is for parents to let the girls work it out and coaches, ADs and principals to not allow parents to bully them into compliance (good friend told me that)...

I also agree with one of the posters who said that it starts at the top - have a Positive Polly or Peter as a coach, the girls will play better and definitely get along. If you have a Negative Nelly or Nester, it sets the tone for everyone - players and parents.

Just my 2 cents...

 

[Bishop]

Hollyrockartist,

Did you add writting childrens books to your artistic resume? Your post is relatively Seusian in it's construction.

 

[BrianMonk]

High praise considering the butt whoopin' your girls layed down on us at the firecracker. My daughter walks funny from time to time. I'm pretty sure she's having flashbacks of that game.

Will I get to see you tomorrow night? I think we are playing your daughters school. Where's that evil smiley dude at when you need him?

My daughter plays in St. Joe. The girls on the travel team come from predominantly from the B/N area but there are not more than 2 girls on any J.H. team so we are spread out once middle school ball starts. None of those kids are “All-Stars” on their middle school team yet they make it work well when they get together.

As far as that game, that’ll likely not happen again. Once in a blue moon things just click with everyone. If we could hit like that every game…….We’ve been on the receiving end of a game like that and there was nothing we could do.

Good luck to your girls in the state tournament.