Parents.... Subtitle: The bad apples

[Rick M]

The reason I'm writing all this is to see if there is any advice on how to deal with the few bad apple parents? I can see these 1 or 2 people spoiling it for the rest of us if this isn't nipped in the bud. Any thoughts or experiences would be greatly appreciated.

I’ve been in a similar situation and honestly, I would just give it some time.

The returning families are dealing with the loss of their previous team (having played for the coach last year, they will feel it’s still their team), and are probably looking back through rose-colored glasses. In my experience, it can take a while before people get past “Last year was so great, I wish that team was still together.”

If you’re happy with the coaching and the talent level, the number of receptive ears to complaints will dwindle. The folks who just can’t get over it will likely leave.


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[JoeBob]

It's not that we don't want to go. But when you have 3 small(er) humans eating like adult humans, plus two more adult humans....food costs add up when you're doing it almost every weekend May through July.

Who knows, we may still end up dragging everyone along and just dealing with it. Keeps me from buying other stuff I don't really need.

Yeah I totally get it man. You need a $100k snack bar allotment to get you through a year.

 

[_MIA_]

It's not that we don't want to go. But when you have 3 small(er) humans eating like adult humans, plus two more adult humans....food costs add up when you're doing it almost every weekend May through July.

Who knows, we may still end up dragging everyone along and just dealing with it. Keeps me from buying other stuff I don't really need.

I bring food from home for myself. Typically will eat out once (kids and DW will do it more). I typically lose weight on TB trips

 

[JoeBob]

I’ve been in a similar situation and honestly, I would just give it some time.

The returning families are dealing with the loss of their previous team (having played for the coach last year, they will feel it’s still their team), and are probably looking back through rose-colored glasses. In my experience, it can take a while before people get past “Last year was so great, I wish that team was still together.”

If you’re happy with the coaching and the talent level, the number of receptive ears to complaints will dwindle. The folks who just can’t get over it will likely leave.


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Yeah I hear you. Sometimes patience is so hard......

 

[GKCO]

Long story, I'll try to keep it short. We left a team last year because the quality of the instruction was sub-par and our DD was growing and moving past the "rec ball" type coaching and expectations. ( There are a million other reasons we left but I'm keeping this short) In the end our DD found a great new team and a great coach and was asked to be part of the team after tryouts. A few girls from my DD's previous team also made this new team and they are quality players and work hard. A few other players from the coach's previous team that had disbanded also came and then a few girls came from a variety of other teams also made the new team. It breaks down to almost an equal 30% Players from coaches old team, 30% Players from DD's old team, and 30% new players.

Part of the reason our DD decided to leave the previous team is because she's taking Softball seriously and has told us she would like pursue it in college. She has been working hard to get to that point. The new team she is on is a national organization that we hope could help her achieve that goal. So far the team and coaching has exceeded our expectations.

With that said, my wife and I have done everything we can to be a booster to the team. I run GC, one of the other parents works on the social media stuff, my wife has volunteered to do the book. We have tried to be vocal supporters of the team internally and externally. What we are starting to run into are a couple of miserable parents from the coach's previous team. We are hearing some rumors they are starting that are completely untrue and divisive, they make every effort to avoid the parents, their kids are the first to walk off the field after practice and games and they leave before the team meeting, etc... etc... etc.. These bad apples also pooh pooh any team building attempts off the field whether it's staying in the same hotel or group team activities.

The reason I'm writing all this is to see if there is any advice on how to deal with the few bad apple parents? I can see these 1 or 2 people spoiling it for the rest of us if this isn't nipped in the bud. Any thoughts or experiences would be greatly appreciated.

What age group is this? Sorry, but I haven't read all 5 pages. I think team bonding is important at younger ages, but might not be so important for older. Leaving early is a big issue. To me, that is disrespectful.

 

[JoeBob]

What age group is this? Sorry, but I haven't read all 5 pages. I think team bonding is important at younger ages, but might not be so important for older. Leaving early is a big issue. To me, that is disrespectful.

14U and I understand your point about team bonding being less of an issue as they get older. I'm not looking for them go to face painting or to Lego Land but really to just get to know each other off the field. As a new team there are these different groups of girls who right now aren't communicating well. Again, maybe I just need to have patience.....

I completely understand your point about leaving a team early, it was not a decision we made lightly or quickly but in the end it was the right decision.

 

[PJR202]

It's not that we don't want to go. But when you have 3 small(er) humans eating like adult humans, plus two more adult humans....food costs add up when you're doing it almost every weekend May through July.

Who knows, we may still end up dragging everyone along and just dealing with it. Keeps me from buying other stuff I don't really need.

I'm blessed in that my girls mostly still order off the kids menu.

They're 14 and 16 and no one seems to care.

 

[uncdrew]

Stay-to-play usually just requires 75% of the team to stay in a certain hotel before the TD tries to penalize you. I just don't book through the site. I tell them I got free nights through my points if anyone asks. We had a former player whose family owned an RV and took that to every away tournament. No one ever said anything to them for having the tenement on wheels. Kudos if you got that reference...

Gotcha.

I guess I was more wondering how you got to be in the 25%. I never have figured out how best that works. First to ask, financial basis, etc.?

 

[LEsoftballdad]

Gotcha.

I guess I was more wondering how you got to be in the 25%. I never have figured out how best that works. First to ask, financial basis, etc.?

Most parents blindly book when they get the link, so it's not really about being in the 25%. It's really that most people book through stay-to-play when it is an option rather than exploring less expensive alternatives. I usually get at least one night free per weekend with all the points I have accumulated over the years.

Now, if the whole team didn't book, then the tournament director might catch on. I am normally only one of the only families to book hotels on their own.

 

[JoeBob]

Most parents blindly book when they get the link, so it's not really about being in the 25%. It's really that most people book through stay-to-play when it is an option rather than exploring less expensive alternatives. I usually get at least one night free per weekend with all the points I have accumulated over the years.

Now, if the whole team didn't book, then the tournament director might catch on. I am normally only one of the only families to book hotels on their own.

I mix up the lodging accommodations depending on the situation. Lately the Pay-to-play hotels have been the best deal without having to worry about getting bed bugs or something.