need to vent/confused about coaches true motives

[soonerfan1966]

first post i did, reasons unknown, wasn't asked if we was available, no texts or communications about this tournament to us. maybe the other parents were contacted, i can't say, only we were not contacted. the only communication was a text the day before the tourny began, stating if any of the players wanted to play this weekend, a couple teams needed players(this was sent to all of our teams players/parents). havn't talked to the coach yet as to the reasons why we didnt play, i guess because im afraid its gonna go down the wrong road and im not gonna keep my mouth closed and for that i'll take the blame.

 

[soonerfan1966]

chinamigarden, all i can say is i expect a coach to be loyal to their own team first and foremost. thats how i was raised and how i raised my son and daughter and now how i expect my granddaughter to be raised. if that makes me the bad parent so be it. im confused about your confusion about a coach who may only be concerned about a couple players on a team as opposed to the whole team.

 

[CoogansBluff]

im confused about your confusion about a coach who may only be concerned about a couple players on a team as opposed to the whole team.

Didn't you say that the coach asked others if they wanted to play on Friday? Granted, late notice, but if you really don't care about the other players, why would you even do that?

Did the coach give the players a schedule of tournaments before the season began?

As long as the coach is sticking to the schedule, what does it matter that she then decides to have her two play for another team during an OFF week? Similar thing happened to my daughter's team last week. We were off. The two coaches' daughters picked up with another team. That's great for them. I don't mind that. If my daughter had wanted to play that weekend, she could've.

As long as the coaches deliver on the schedule that they put forth in February, I'm fine. Now if we pull out of a tournament when everyone is available, and then the coaches' daughters show up playing with someone else, then we've got a problem. But I don't care what other players (including daughters of coaches) do on their OFF weekends. It's their prerogative.

 

[Doug Romrell]

Stepping out of my coaching shoes here... I think many coaches have motives that are different from their expressed motives.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

From now on, take your wife's advice. Forget this mess and enjoy your weekend.

 

[soonerfan1966]

Did the coach give the players a schedule of tournaments before the season began

was only given a league schedule and receive a text a few days(monday or tuesday) before a tournament saying we are in it(probably the best set of parents ive seen as far as showing up for games)
i agree with your thoughts about playing for other teams if we have an off week or cant field a team, or for whatever reason but i tend to question a coaches motives when they then say, i only wish this trophy was with my team, when apparently they made no attempt to put their team in the tournament to begin with.

 

[soonerfan1966]

Amy in AZ. From now on, take your wife's advice.
and have the world to stop turning :}

 

[CycloneSoftball22]

Sounds like you are making a big deal over nothing. Wasted time and energy

 

[SoftSocDad]

wife told me not to read coaches facebook page but i didnt listen. coach doesnt enter our team in memorial weekend tournament(reasons unknown) but emails one of the better teams entered and asks if her two kids could play on their team. day before the tournament she sends a text saying that if any of the kids want to play this weekend there are some teams (not the good teams) that need some players and she will get them on these teams. back to the facebook, apparently that team wins the tournament and she talks about how these trophies are what its all about and the only thing that would have been better was if it could have been our team. am i wrong in thinking something is just not right about this(i'm a our team first type person). having had a son and daughter play(now we are talking about my granddaughter) i dont want her to deal with what they had to with some of their coaches. sorry for the rant, but was wondering what the communities opinion is.

You're a non-custodial grandparent who needs to not teach your granddaughter to make such a big deal out of little things.
There was no tournament on the team schedule for this weekend, so your gripe is a product of you looking for something to be upset about. If the coach of DGD's team had some sinister motives, you never would've known that their kids were playing for someone else this weekend until your child got a text Monday telling them that they needed to find a new team because coach's DD was joining another team.

 

[CoogansBluff]

... and receive a text a few days(monday or tuesday) before a tournament saying we are in it...

That's not the best way for the coach to run it, and I can see where you might feel left out under that kind of seat-of-the-pants scheduling. ...

Still not enough for me to conclude that the coach was out of line or guilty of some of your suspicions. It just makes more sense how you might feel.

If I were the parent and really felt slighted over this, I'd have a non-accusatory discussion and let the coach clear the air. If no one is willing to have that conversation, then it isn't fair to conclude the coach did anything wrong. My guess is much the same as everyone else's, that its much about nothing. But as I noted, I can see better now how you might feel slighted given that the coach announces tournament plays only a few days in advance. But I suspect there is a good explanation for it.