How should kids feel about losing?

[BaldNBeautiful]

My oldest daughter is still haunted by a couple pitches. She says she will always remember certain losses. Championships. One pitch away from winning, a strike down the middle that didn't get called and a passed ball that caused a loss.

At the age of twelve, DD1 could have felt she "lost" a LL Tournament game on a catcher's interference call. The Bases were loaded, full count, two outs, game tied in 7th inning. She caught the pitch and framed it, then batter swung and knocked the glove off her hand with the ball still in it. Batter advanced, run scored and game over, we go home instead of to state tournament.

Sure she felt terrible, but she never got another CI call again.
She hates losing, but she also found a way to make a positive out of the experience.

 

[sluggers]

Do you want your players to hate to lose? Is that a good quality in an athlete?

"Hate" is a strong word. The easiest way to avoid losing is not to play, so teaching your players to "hate to lose" might encourage them to quit playing. But, competitive players should not like to lose.

DD#1 and DD#3 played on successful teams. DD#1 had an 80% winning percentage at a JuCo, and then a 60% at D1. DD#3 had more than a 90% winning percentage at hoops for 4 years of college. They both really disliked losing.

They really don't dwell on their losses except those when their teams were eliminated from the post-season. after 10 years or so, DD#1 can talk about them. I try to avoid talking to DD#3 too much about her last loss (she was on the championship team her junior year, not her senior year) because she really gets angry.

 

[MsDinosaur]

I'm not sure anyone has mentioned this, but IMO a lot depends upon how the game has unfolded.

If the team was behind and came back to make it a close game, the girls seem excited even after a loss. They talk about the plays they made and are full of enthusiasm for the next time. If the team was ahead and allowed the other team to come from behind to beat them, they're mostly downcast, and mine, anyway, doesn't want to talk about the game -or- wants to gripe about things like bad call(s) by blue.

It's also much, much worse to lose to a 'nasty' or snobby team than it is to lose to a team of friendly girls who play with respect for their opponents.