High School Daddy Ball

[tim_s]

A one or two parents?
B collective team of parents?
C A coach that is not a parent?

C is always preferred not so sure B would be worse than A and be more entertaining with alliances being formed, etc.

the only way this holds true is if you are assuming even coaching talent & experience


i've seen an awful lot of bad non-parent coaches.....and a slew of very, very good ones that are parents......some bad ones, sure......but the "daddy ball" coach is really an inflated exaggeration most of the time

 

[_MIA_]

i'd suggest you come to one of my practices then.....although you'd see my kid held to a far higher standard

That's not objective then but the only person who would possible complain would be your kid (and maybe DW...)

 

[benjey]

i'd suggest you come to one of my practices then.....although you'd see my kid held to a far higher standard

Not saying this is true of you but I have seen a fairly high percentage of parent coaches that are harder on their kids and have higher expectations for their kids than other players but also exhibit favoritism and preferential treatment with regards to playing time and position selection.

This may seem contradictory but I think it makes sense, they are harder on them because they "know the potential their kid has". This also leads them to provide more opportunities to show that potential then they might give to another kid they are able to evaluate more objectively.

 

[CoachJD]

This is difficult because my first response is, as an AD, I'm basically never going to listen to a parent whining about playing time. From my experience, they almost never have any idea what they've talking about, and even if they do, I'm not going to tell the coach how to deploy personnel. If the coach asks I'll give my opinion, and if the coach clearly doesn't know what he or she is doing I'll factor that in to making a change, but I'm not meddling in coaching decisions because I would be furious if someone did that with me.

That said, this situation is why I very strongly believe that parents should not be involved with coaching HS teams. In this situation, there is a clear conflict of interest, so everything I typed in that first paragraph is kind of moot. By allowing parents to coach, the AD created this situation. They're inviting the complaints. I guess my one exception would be a scenario where an established coach eventually has a kid come through. I'm not sure it'd be fair to get rid of the coach then.

If you go to the AD, my advice would be to make a suggestion that parents should not coach teams because it creates a culture of perceived favoritism that leads to a bad team environment even if it's not true.

 

[_MIA_]

If you go to the AD, my advice would be to make a suggestion that parents should not coach teams because it creates a culture of perceived favoritism that leads to a bad team environment even if it's not true.

Hard to believe the AD wouldn’t know this already and so going back to my original post on this he either has his hands tied or doesn’t care…Most ADs have been around the block a few times before getting the job..

 

[Cougars]

I have definitely seen teams where the parent gives playing time to their daughter that isn't justified. However, I've also seen parents of non-parent coached teams sit in the bleachers and complain about every single playing time/strategy decision that doesn't benefit their kid. I think for many people, "daddy ball" becomes a convenient rallying cry, when the same complaints/angst would be there if it wasn't a parent coach.

 

[CoachJD]

I have definitely seen teams where the parent gives playing time to their daughter that isn't justified. However, I've also seen parents of non-parent coached teams sit in the bleachers and complain about every single playing time/strategy decision that doesn't benefit their kid. I think for many people, "daddy ball" becomes a convenient rallying cry, when the same complaints/angst would be there if it wasn't a parent coach.

Has this happen with basketball this year. It led to a small group of parents basically inventing stories about the coach and senior/team captain/best player.

When the team lost, they had to blame something. They couldn't just say the team wasn't good enough (or, worse, that their own kids were not playing well enough). So then it became cries of favoritism (and insinuations of much worse). The two parents who were the worst couldn't complain about playing time because their kids were starters and got plenty of it. So then they decided certain bench players should play more. Some of these kids were just happy to be on the team and get a few minutes here and there.

The best was a meeting I had to hold with those parents where some were arguing that everybody should play while others were arguing that the coach wasn't doing a good enough job putting the best players on the floor so the team could win. And neither group was capable of understanding how they wanted mutually exclusive things.

 

[uncdrew]

My vote is for whatever causes the most chaos...

A one or two parents?
B collective team of parents?
C A coach that is not a parent?

C is always preferred not so sure B would be worse than A and be more entertaining with alliances being formed, etc.

D. All parents with a kid on Varsity or JV all sit together an hour before the game and come up with the lineup and submit it to coach 30 minutes before first pitch. Total chaos. It would be fun.

 

[_MIA_]

The best was a meeting I had to hold with those parents where some were arguing that everybody should play while others were arguing that the coach wasn't doing a good enough job putting the best players on the floor so the team could win. And neither group was capable of understanding how they wanted mutually exclusive things.

Sorry...but lol that is awesome..

 

[tim_s]

That's not objective then but the only person who would possible complain would be your kid (and maybe DW...)

The higher standard is more in the area of comportment, effort, body language....not giving anyone any reason to question why they are where they're at, as I understand the dynamics at play and potential for a bad lens

In travel, when I was HC, lineup decisions got group input, especially when it involved my own.....with DD2 on my team of older girls, I gave the OF decisions away as it involved her.....I also remember very well having a conversation with her as a 7 year old, explaining why I was never dad at practice

With HS ball, my input is asked for, but HC makes decisions

I've also been lucky in that both my kids' play and conduct speaks for themselves.....it makes it easy when they behave the way they do.....no one has ever questioned my motives, but we've never put ourselves in positions where it comes into play

Not all are like this, i get it