I think you could talk to her about some stuff you've seen on coaching videos, or maybe go to a clinic or two and bring that back with you. Ask her if she's concerned about the lack of TB players, and then try to come up with a strategy to recruit more of them. The best way to change a perception of someone is for them to act in contrary ways. If you've been together four years, she much have some level of trust for you.
have you seen the behaviors the parents are talking about? I know it's more time for you, but maybe ask for joint JV/ Varsity practices once a week, then you can see how she coaches and she can see how you do it. Maybe she'll like the things you do.
If you're not going to get the TB players, then really focus on development. Concentrate on making a team of girls who have come up through your program, girls who want to be there. make your team as fun as it can be -- make YOU a person girls want to play for. Maybe go to some TB games and do some 12-13-year-old recruiting, and build a strong JV team. If a coach is fired, the easiest thing for an AD to do is hire an a current assistant. Give the AD a reason to.
As for the AD, don't say anything. Make your team one that girls want to play for, and the the head coach is fired then make your case. But the varsity coach has shown paranoid tendencies, and if you talk to the AD it will get to her one way or the other. I think your best chance is to stay her ally until you don't want to be her ally anymore.
ETA: This popped up at me when I was in the shower. Why is the other HS surging? Are TB players going there?
i think the fact that parents talked to you about her is a red flag, but in a different direction than you are seeing. TB parents -- of of us excluded, of course -- have a tendency to overestimate their DD's skills and deservedness of playing time. She might be losing those players BECAUSE she's trying to run a fair team based on HS experience, not one based on TB experience. A collection of old guys have old connections they want to maintain with TB teams, and therefore give those girls preferential treatment. For example, i can't imagine girls who play at a high TB level getting butt hurt by a coach getting on them for errors, or expecting them to take losses seriously, unless they were predisposed not to like her for other reasons.
Now, she may be a petty rear. Our varsity coach is a petty rear. That happens more often than any of us may like. But the truth is that if she's been in the job four years, very few incoming players have experience with her -- they're just going off the TB reputation, passed on by parents and players who didn't like her -- or maybe wanted her job to go to someone they already knew and had relationships with. There's a decent chance she's not the actual bad actor here, and before you do anything you ought to consider that possibility.
Thanks for the reply, lots of good thoughts.
The current coaching staff attended a softball conference in February which featured speakers and demonstrations of the latest techniques and teaching methods. Ironically we are all siting in a hotel room eating pizza when the HC brings up the subject of low turnout. We discussed it for an hour but could not come up with a reason. I don't know what I would have said had I known then what I know now.
Me personally? I am the coach who goes to see the TB players in tournaments at 8 am when its 50 degrees, and 8pm when the mosquitoes are fierce. I sit by myself when I can to take notes and generally show myself so the players know we care about their development. Sadly, I am almost always the only coach who shows up.
I very seldom (about 3 times a year) see the AD and when I do he just says Hi. Always friendly but always busy too.
My goal is to bring the TB girls who don't play back into the program. I didn't spell this out but we have had several girls quit after playing JV for a season or 2. Even on the exit interviews none of them said a word about not playing the next season. The HC approached them about playing and they told her they either had jobs or were going to concentrate on(insert other sport here).
The other HS changed coaches and the guy they hired is an excellent coach. I know him from TB coaching. He is a very good game coach, knows how to run a program, and has the players respect. Our players who do not come out are not going there.
I enjoy teaching softball, I really do. I get satisfaction out of seeing the girls progress into varsity players and yes some come back to me and say thanks or that I made a difference. And that makes me feel like it's worthwhile.