Let me see if I can dial in this topic... that may be a sensitive issue. However could be an important thing to take a look at.
The topic is in line with other recent posts regarding players having emotional crossover to their sport experience.
(Bring this question up because noticed there are people with back-to-back frustrating years in high school, where it seems as though it's unreasonable frustration, and yet they think they're going to go off to college and suddenly have a different experience that will be purified. If in 4 years of high school ball cannot work out being either flexible or fitting in or handling the adversity. Seems that is an indicator to take into strong consideration!)
In my experience, the experience in HS normally has little to no bearing on how the experience is in college.
There are a few exceptions - the total idiot family etc., the problem child, etc.
But here are some reasons I see:
1. For the most part - the players parents have a LOT less influence on the experience. This can go in al sorts of directions.
2. Depending on the college (and the HS); how softball is treated can be VERY different.
3. The players are normally not the same players you normally see when you are not in HS (unless you stay local and probably a non-D1 level). Most of the time your HS freshman have played against or with most of their HS teammates (and opponent players) in travel
4. Same with coaches (and changes in coaches)
5. There is a very different age dynamic. In college your seniors are 22-24 yrs old. In HS your freshman are 13-14. The dynamics are MUCH different (good or bad)
6. The team spends WAY more time together in college. You often eat together, travel is longer, double headers are intense, etc. It is a very different experience - you are not going home to mum and dad.
Looking back at all the players my DD played with in HS and college - it has been a real mixed bag and some real surprises (and some expected).