Frustration with high school ball

[MNDad]

She wasn’t pulled, she proceeded to get out of the inning. I think she handled the situation well, and didn’t break down until later with me. In my opinion the coach was frustrated over the situation and took it out on my dd which is not ok.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

He probably did take it out on your DD. Things were going downhill and he needed to make a change. He treats players differently. He hurt her feelings. As a parent, I agree with you, that’s not OK. Without verbal abuse or raising his voice and calling her out for everyone to hear I can’t consider that bullying.

I hope you're able to resolve this and your DD is happy for the rest of the season.

 

[Legendsmom]

He probably did take it out on your DD. Things were going downhill and he needed to make a change. He treats players differently. He hurt her feelings. As a parent, I agree with you, that’s not OK. Without verbal abuse or raising his voice and calling her out for everyone to hear I can’t consider that bullying.

I hope you're able to resolve this and your DD is happy for the rest of the season.

She’s dealing with it ok, the coach’s wife who co coaches with him talked with her yesterday at practice and told her to prove him wrong and when he gets upset he says things he shouldn’t. She’s going to focus on what she can control and she did talk about the pitch calling. Fastballs against a good hitting team will result in hits and more errors can result. Hopefully, next time will result in a much better outing for the whole team. Thanks for the advice, she is much tougher then I even give her credit for.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[YOCOACH]

He talked to her in the circle with the catcher and nobody else heard it. It doesn’t sound like he said anything that wasn’t true. There’s nothing about shouting or other antics. We’re hearing his words after going through the DD and then the Mom. Pretty safe bet something was missed in the translation. The biggest complaints seem to be that coach treated kids differently, pitcher felt singled out and she was pulled after the team made errors. I’ll bet you’ve done the same thing hundreds of times. Unless there’s lots more we haven’t heard, I just can’t see a case of bullying here.

From post #20 by Legendsmom. Yes it is third hand but still.... " I disagree and do think he is a bully, because she has told me of other instances at practice where he picks on certain girls and I don’t think that is right especially since it’s only certain girls and not his favorites. "

And again, yes, I have talked to my pitchers in certain circumstances but never to belittle them, let alone in front of another player including my catchers. I've always told them to settle in, trust their mechanics and find their spots. quit aiming and just pitch. I'm not one for negative reinforcement although I will admit to bringing in the entire infield at several times and saying that they've quit on their pitcher and she's the only one still trying to win the game. I also admit that it may have been divisive at the time but it made them step up and actually play the game the way it was meant to be played.

 

[CoachJD]

I'm not one for negative reinforcement although I will admit to bringing in the entire infield at several times and saying that they've quit on their pitcher and she's the only one still trying to win the game. I also admit that it may have been divisive at the time but it made them step up and actually play the game the way it was meant to be played.

I've done this a couple times. I don't think it's divisive if you're telling the truth. If you have a pitcher who has induced a bunch of weak ground balls and pop ups and your infielders aren't doing their jobs, you're not wrong to tell them they're letting their pitcher down. It lets the pitcher know you have her back, it's holding the infielders accountable (and you're not singling out one of them for mistakes), and your message is to work together as a team to get out of the inning.

 

[IndyHScoach]

I have not had it happen to me personally but being in a high school setting with all sports you have a lot of chances for issues.

Biggest complaint I have seen is parents calling coaches bullies when in truth all they did was be honest with a player. Anytime something negative comes out they think you are being a bully. And, yes I know there are bully coaches but that is the go to when parents don't like what a coach says.

 

[ian]

I have not had it happen to me personally but being in a high school setting with all sports you have a lot of chances for issues.

Biggest complaint I have seen is parents calling coaches bullies when in truth all they did was be honest with a player. Anytime something negative comes out they think you are being a bully. And, yes I know there are bully coaches but that is the go to when parents don't like what a coach says.

DD is a sophomore and has played softball, soccer, cross country and now baseball. Lots of really really good coaches in high school sports.

Only one of her coaches is a daddyball control freak.

 

[BuckeyeBW]

I have not had it happen to me personally but being in a high school setting with all sports you have a lot of chances for issues.

Biggest complaint I have seen is parents calling coaches bullies when in truth all they did was be honest with a player. Anytime something negative comes out they think you are being a bully. And, yes I know there are bully coaches but that is the go to when parents don't like what a coach says.

I agree with this statement but am not saying this was the case for OP, I wasn't there. High School ball in my area of Michigan is a mix bag with a couple really good teams that take is serious, some not so serious or talented, and a couple that barely give effort. The range of quality coaches is equally mixed. Most of the good TB players work hard but its because travel season is around the corner. They don't take school ball very serious but like the chance to play against their TB teammates, which I think is ok. I feel school ball coaches should try to get as much playing time for as many players as possible, but not necessarily equal time. I'm not saying don't play to win. I find HS softball coaches are usually not in danger of losing their positions due to record, many if not most are teachers at the schools. I am all for coaches yelling at players but only to a certain extent, not abusing.

 

[obbay]

Is this bullying:
"I bet you'd be running faster if you were going to Burger King!"
And then calling her "BK" for the entirety of her senior season.

Girl had a self-esteem issue that she kept to herself- does that make a difference?

 

[IndyHScoach]

Is this bullying:
"I bet you'd be running faster if you were going to Burger King!"
And then calling her "BK" for the entirety of her senior season.

Girl had a self-esteem issue that she kept to herself- does that make a difference?

That is not only bullying that is classless and grounds for termination in my book.

When I say truth I mean about ability and you don't compare players to each other that is not fair to either one.

 

[CoachJD]

Is this bullying:
"I bet you'd be running faster if you were going to Burger King!"
And then calling her "BK" for the entirety of her senior season.

Girl had a self-esteem issue that she kept to herself- does that make a difference?

That's bad.

On the other hand, if you're working with a girl on getting into better shape and she's eating junk food, I think it's fair to hold her accountable on that. I think it's fair to tell the entire team that, as a team, they need to focus on healthier eating.

Turning it into a mean nickname is not acceptable though.