Do you want it?

[sluggers]

I'm still trying to figure out why it is wrong for some child to say, "No, I really don't want to be good at softball. I'll never make a living at it and it seems that it is overrun with parents trying to live vicariously through their children."

 

[Cannonball]

Some of you posters, YOU DON'T WANT IT! You don't put in the time. You don't do your homework to know what the heck you are talking about. You don't hurt when you don't make that historical posts! Back when I was a newbie posters, I worked HARD! I GOT AFTER IT! I DESERVE my high status! Ok so, my tongue got stuck in my cheek.

"It" is so often the cop out for people who can't coach or, and I am going to step on some toes here, parents who don't know how to get their child to the next level. "IT" has never really been defined and so, it is so easy to attack others and make it sound like you know what the heck you are wanting for them. Keep in mind that I am an "ex expert" and so, I don't know either. IMO, I allowed my child to discover "it" on her own with a little prodding on my part. Very little. "It" can be simply having fun playing the game at an early age so that drive, competitive spirit, etc. can develop. Your child does not have to be a world beater in the beginning to become very accomplished in the end. It is a progression! JMHO!

 

[FP26]

I'm still trying to figure out why it is wrong for some child to say, "No, I really don't want to be good at softball. I'll never make a living at it and it seems that it is overrun with parents trying to live vicariously through their children."

I am 100% with you on this one sluggers. I have no idea what will happen with my DD. Maybe she will develop into a D1 athlete, but I am not counting on it. Maybe she won't even be interested in softball in 2 or 3 years. That is fine too. If she decides to stick with softball, I want to do whatever I can to help her be the best that she can be. Whatever that is. If she decides to move to another sport, I will support that as well. Where I would have a regret, is if I became the reason that she gave it up.

 

[sftblldad7]

Slugger must have found a new secret to being good. It takes more than hard work and desire ? please do tell I am sure there are coaches around the world waiting on this information.
So let me guess that slugger or his kids was a player that played and did the work and did not make the team. So now you blame the system. Hard work never paysoff you are wasting your time. "The post was not about being number one at your sport"
If I get this right because I am one of the so called Newbies, my dd daughter and every other pitcher out there should stop working hard at pitching and doing the pitching lessons because there was one Keilani Ricketts that played softball this year. While I might agree that going to her college 2 years ago would have been a bad ideal but the last time I checked there was over 100 D1 schools out there. I think we will continue to work hard and I am OK with my dd being at 99.4% and being average.
Keep believing that every year a new bunch of girls don't come to school and keep believing that those girls that don't come to school don't want to play. Keep believing that you don't have to work hard.
And some day you can write a post like slugger talking about hiking up a mountain and saying if you are in the top .05% in your sport you are only good ( sorry slugger they are the great players ).
Just to throw out some movies because slugger like them
Miracle - to think they could take a bunch of kids that were not in the top 99.5% in there sport and win a gold medal by working hard, shame on team USA
Rudy - Shame on Notre Dame for letting this kid who worked his butt off and I would guess he was at the bottom of 99.5% play D1 football.
Lets cancel the NIT basketball tournament after all those teams could not make the top 64
Let's cancel regional and super regional for baseball and softball why should those bottom teams get to play.

Just believe, want it more than the other person, and put the work in.

Remember some people will climb the mountain in a day and others it may take a couple of days, but in the end the out come is the same you both got to the top.

 

[Doug Romrell]

Great point.

Good? Compared to what? This is the way I think of it.

Boy, I have players who are "good" when compared to what they looked like just over a year ago, particularly with pitching and hitting. But when compared to the best in our area..... no, these players have a long way to go to look that good. When compared to Osterman (pitching) and Bustos (hitting),.... no, they probably will never be that good.... probably not even close. That is, unless they really "WANT IT!" Even then, it's very unlikely.

 

[slingnit]

Slugger must have found a new secret to being good. It takes more than hard work and desire ? please do tell I am sure there are coaches around the world waiting on this information.
So let me guess that slugger or his kids was a player that played and did the work and did not make the team. So now you blame the system. Hard work never paysoff you are wasting your time. "The post was not about being number one at your sport"
If I get this right because I am one of the so called Newbies, my dd daughter and every other pitcher out there should stop working hard at pitching and doing the pitching lessons because there was one Keilani Ricketts that played softball this year. While I might agree that going to her college 2 years ago would have been a bad ideal but the last time I checked there was over 100 D1 schools out there. I think we will continue to work hard and I am OK with my dd being at 99.4% and being average.
Keep believing that every year a new bunch of girls don't come to school and keep believing that those girls that don't come to school don't want to play. Keep believing that you don't have to work hard.
And some day you can write a post like slugger talking about hiking up a mountain and saying if you are in the top .05% in your sport you are only good ( sorry slugger they are the great players ).
Just to throw out some movies because slugger like them
Miracle - to think they could take a bunch of kids that were not in the top 99.5% in there sport and win a gold medal by working hard, shame on team USA
Rudy - Shame on Notre Dame for letting this kid who worked his butt off and I would guess he was at the bottom of 99.5% play D1 football.
Lets cancel the NIT basketball tournament after all those teams could not make the top 64
Let's cancel regional and super regional for baseball and softball why should those bottom teams get to play.

Just believe, want it more than the other person, and put the work in.

Remember some people will climb the mountain in a day and others it may take a couple of days, but in the end the out come is the same you both got to the top.

I think you are missing the point! Nobody is saying "don't work hard". It is ok for a kid to say "I want to play softball and have fun without my parents trying to turn me into a pro at age 6!". No different than a parent pushing a kid into med school when they want to be a plumber. You see it every weekend at the ball field. Kids that are not as athletically gifted as most of the other kids and their parents are the ones pushing them the hardest. And the kids are not having fun, you can look at their faces and body language and tell that they are just miserable. I was one of those dads! I was lucky DD did want "IT" or else she had every reason to quit playing ball. I can say that me pushing her is why she succeeded but it could have just as easily been the reason to quit. Many a time I walked out on her while she was throwing to me because I thought she wasn't wanting "it" bad enough.

Hell, as parents maybe our kids could judge us and say we don't want "it" bad enough. Are we doing ALL that we can to be the best parents possible? Are we achieving ALL we can at work? Are we setting the best example by doing our best and leading by example? When you are asking the world from a 12 yr old look in the mirror and ask if you are giving the same effort you are asking for.

 

[slingnit]

AND coaches are looking for more than just hard work and desire! Some have those qualities but are cancer to their teams, can't play w/o mom or dad in the stands, are not mature enough to handle their business out side of ball(school, boyfriends, drugs), the list goes on forever. If you think that hard work and desire is all a coach is looking for then please write the book and I will buy it!

 

[FP26]

I don't want to put words in anyone's mouth, but I do not think sluggers meant his post to be as negative as some people are taking it. I do not know sluggers, but I seem to remember seeing in another thread that his daughter was actually a D1 pitcher. So she was part of that upper echelon of players. There are other things that are part of the entire equation. Hard work and dedication are extremely important. But genetics do play a role. In addition, receiving the proper instruction is also extremely important. Most of the people that frequent the pitching threads will probably tell you that a pitcher can have all the hard work and dedication in the world, but if their instructor is using H/E style mechanics, her ceiling may never be reached. Just like the hitting gurus will probably tell you that hard work and dedication will not replace turning the barrel and proper hip coil. Reaching that top echelon requires all of these characteristics, and probably some more.

More to the point, I think sluggers point was that it is ok to not be part of that top echelon. Children play sports for many different reasons. We as parents need to understand the reasons they are doing it, and not make it about ourselves. If we are pushing our daughters beyond what they want, we are the ones missing the point.

 

[WB Coach]

In case anyone missed the point of the OP, it was just to point out that that I felt the strong need to help some kids with their game because of the experiences I had when I played as a kid. That's all. The post has nothing to do with "elite" this or "best" that. It's about giving your best and not short-changing yourself. Please don't read too much into it. It's not that deep.

 

[SCDad]

OK, I will chime in and throw everything for a loop.

Does anyone really know what is going on between the 6" space between the ears of a preteen, or even a teenage female athlete? I don't and usually the most pertinent answer is what the parents want it to be. Sometimes, how much money they want to spend.

My DD started playing baseball at age 4. Played until she was 12. Then switched to softball. Now 17, has still played more baseball games than softball.

Does she want it? want what, I ask? She has the talent to play with about anyone in the country. Does she care ... NO. Folks really fail to realize that by the time a player is a Junior in high school, they have played way more games in the past, than they ever will in the future.

The answer is what the parents want it to be. Super travel orgs want to emphasis the want. But talent, even when learned at 9 years old, still rules the day.

I personally know numerous D1 signees, that my DD is a better hitter than. So what. these D1 signees want it more, I guess. My DD does not. That does not mean in any way shape or form, that my DD is not one of the most feared hitters on the high school level, with championships to prove it.

My DD does not care. She is focused on her future, without softball. As many should be, because there is no money in it (besides scholarships. of course), if not for their parents drumming into them something different.

My DD has two (2) high school seasons left. Last year was a State Championship. Hopefully two (2) more to go. Does she have the WANT ..., of course not for college. But she has the want for high school softball,

Focus on the present folks. And the joy, and possible HS championships. Sure, disagree if you want. Go for the scholarship, I don't blame you. But again, it is diminished returns.

I am glad, I am proud, and do everything in my power to promote, contribute to the IMMEDIATE future, and not look too far ahead.

So here I am. Literally hundreds of female athletes, probably thousands, even tens of thousands, have had more WANT than mine. They don't have the talent though. They did not play baseball against the boys, and show dominance against them in various ways when 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and 12. When she had the want.

Don't matter to me. I am the luckiest dad in the world, and will never see a college ballgame, probably.