Article on overbearing father

[Sparky Guy]

Ouch...

My DD is a pitcher, and she can play any other position and I'm fine. But once she gets in the circle I'm a mess. I'm Steve Martin in The Father of the Bride, flipping out over hot dog buns.

Why????? Do you not trust the work your DD has put in? Do you not trust her abilites? Do you not trust what your DD has learned? Are you afraid your DD will make a mistake and not learn from it? She needs to learn how to fail so she can pick herself up for the next challenge.

I had a girl a few years ago. Mom would pace and talk to her every time she was in the circle. I asked the girl if her mom pacing bothered her. She said yes. I had a talk with the mom in front of the girl. I asked the girl the same pacing question. To her credit she gave her mom the same answer. I explained to the mom that her DD WILL see her above all other parents. She WILL hear her above all the white noise. She WILL know where she's at. I told her thee best thing she could do is to sit down, relax, cheer and encourage her DD and the team. A few weeks later I asked the girl how her mom was. She said she's been really good about either staying out of sight or sitting in the stands cheering.

I used to sit behind the backstop off to the side in my lawn chair not saying a word. Other parents would come up to me and ask me how I could just "sit there" during tense game situations? I would tell them, me pacing and acting like a fool would not help my DD in the circle. She was playing the game with her team and anything I did on this side of the fence would not help the team. She put in all the work to get to the position of being given the ball during big games.

Sometimes parents would want to congratulate after a tough win against a good team. I would tell them to congratulate the DD and the team. They did all the work. I did nothing but watch and cheer.

If you need a way to work off nervous energy. Get a nice camera. Wander the fence line taking pictures of all the girls as well as your DD. You'll be glad you did when she's done playing ball. I have thousands of pictures saved in my computer. Every once in a while I'll look through them and I'll ask her about some of the girls and what they're doing now. Many are married, have kids, careers. moved and a myriad of things.

 

[_MIA_]

If you haven't been up to your ears in maudlin Jerrad Hardin sob stories, you aren't friends with enough softball moms on Facebook.

I don't have a facebook account...my wife, who does, forwarded it to me..LOL!!

 

[Rick M]

Why????? Do you not trust the work your DD has put in? Do you not trust her abilites? Do you not trust what your DD has learned? Are you afraid your DD will make a mistake and not learn from it? She needs to learn how to fail so she can pick herself up for the next challenge.

As a parent, I know the bolded above is 100% true, and it's the main reason I'm so proud of DD for having the courage to take the ball in the circle and stare down adversity. But it can be so hard to watch as a parent! I like your suggestion of taking pictures, and I've done that many times. I've also designed my own scorebook with multiple pages of standard scoring and pitch charts that keep me busy flipping back-and-forth to record everything. Almost no time to fret, although I do catch myself shaking my head and muttering an 'oh, boy' every now and then when a routine play gets botched behind DD.

 

[_MIA_]

As a parent, I know the bolded above is 100% true, and it's the main reason I'm so proud of DD for having the courage to take the ball in the circle and stare down adversity. But it can be so hard to watch as a parent! I like your suggestion of taking pictures, and I've done that many times. I've also designed my own scorebook with multiple pages of standard scoring and pitch charts that keep me busy flipping back-and-forth to record everything. Almost no time to fret, although I do catch myself shaking my head and muttering an 'oh, boy' every now and then when a routine play gets botched behind DD.

I sit in the outfield in a crappy chair. The chair is so crappy that I have to fix it every 5 minutes which keeps me occupied. Advice to nervous parents: Buy a cheap chair but sit in the OF so nobody can see your cheap chair.

 

[chinamigarden]

There's an article like that almost every issue of the Little League newsletter - the frequency of which they appear make it seem like they're focused on shaming the parents than thanking them for volunteering or signing their kids up every season. I'm not saying these situations don't exist, but at some point it becomes a "preaching to the choir" effect.

I've never seen a viral video of a dad coaching a base, or raking a field. Ever see a video on line of a parent telling an 18 year old ump that they called a good game? But one a-hole starts a fight in a parking lot and all sports parents are suspect.

That's why you see so many articles about this, because this one parent makes 100 parents look bad. Meanwhile 1 good parent only makes 1 parent look good.

 

[OK04dad]

Why????? Do you not trust the work your DD has put in? Do you not trust her abilites? Do you not trust what your DD has learned? Are you afraid your DD will make a mistake and not learn from it? She needs to learn how to fail so she can pick herself up for the next challenge.

Really, I don't believe its any of those. In fact, she went through an extended period of time last year where she really struggled in the circle and she eventually came through like a champ. We usually throw 4 times a week and how she pitches in a game is pretty consistent with her workouts. Don't think I'm trying to live vicariously through her - had my time as an athlete. Probably would do me some good to do some introspection and see what the root cause of the nervousness is.

I do stay in the OF and walk around - I have a bad back and can't sit for extended periods of time. I like the idea of keeping a scorebook. Keep me engaged and doing something productive.

 

[uncdrew]

If you haven't been up to your ears in maudlin Jerrad Hardin sob stories, you aren't friends with enough softball moms on Facebook.

It is some really sappy stuff.

I like them though.

 

[uncdrew]

I call the pitches, so I'm about as close to my DD pitching as one can get. It's nerve-wracking for sure, but I've managed to keep my cool and keep it to calling the pitches and giving positive support.

 

[FP26]

Good article. I agree that the beer was unnecessary, but I"m sure was added to increase the drama. After all, we love our drama now-a-days... Lol! A stranger reading the article would think that this is over the top. But, unfortunately, I have seen parents (moms and dads) act that way, if not worse.