- Feb 28, 2022
- 69
- 18
Yeah I guess thats all I'm really saying for these weekend tournaments.
Parents.... Subtitle: The bad apples
- Thread starter JoeBob
- Start date
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- Jun 20, 2015
- 851
- 93
seen more than one incident of whole team staying in hotel together and moms end up in drunken cat fights at 2am in lobby after overserving themselves.
or dads with shouting matches.
or dads with shouting matches.
- Feb 28, 2022
- 69
- 18
LOL, I could totally see that.
And just what the heck is wrong with that? I'm up for a free show any time.
- Feb 28, 2022
- 69
- 18
LOL, man I just wish there was less drama with ALL of this.
I hope if you’re not doing team dinners your daughters are at least attending. I can see why personally you may not want to wind up at a restaurant for hours on end waiting for 20+ people to have their order taken, be served, eat and then get their checks. But let your daughter go with a teammate and enjoy some downtime off the field with their teammates.
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We saw a parent have a few too many adult beverages in the hotel lobby and start screaming at the female coach about playing time. It got rather ugly.
No, I'd rather avoid the crowds.
One thing we no longer do is travel as a family. One parent with the player. It's too expensive to have everyone go as a clan.
No, I'd rather avoid the crowds.
One thing we no longer do is travel as a family. One parent with the player. It's too expensive to have everyone go as a clan.
If I'm being real up front here, for those of us who are basically running everything behind the scenes even if we aren't coaches...we get tired. And some days, all we have is our gossip. I personally LOVE hearing all the dumb stuff the parents do. I LOVE IT. I love getting into the mind of other people and seeing how they tick, what's important to them, and when they can or can't be trusted.
But it's also how we keep the coaches (if we aren't coaching that particular team) up to speed on what may or may not be tolerable. My main co-conspirator is the puppet master. The mayor of softball, if you will. Everything ends up coming through him, and then through me by association. We don't start this stuff. We obtain it, process it, and a lot of times just mark it classified and send it to Hillary's email account for later.
Helping run things is a freakin' grind, but we do it because we want the coaches to be free to coach. Knowing some of this stuff is very beneficial. You find out things about people who are putting on one persona but living another. There are some snakes, but I do my best to be cool with everyone, and if someone trusts you they'll give you that info and know you'll put it to the proper use without diming them out. We've caught onto some potentially hairy situations a few times and managed to help head off some blowups before they happen.
For the most part, the parents at all levels locally are pretty great, and in the end, we want a functioning team where everyone is having fun and every kid and parent is happy. We've had almost no real blowups as a result. Even the difficult parents still want the kids to have fun--they just want to feel like their own kid is being treated like they "deserve," and for the most part we can find a way to do that without sacrificing elsewhere. We try our best to make all of this happen. And really, it's what OP is doing now. Taking info, seeking advice, and trying to help the coach for the good of the team.
But it's also how we keep the coaches (if we aren't coaching that particular team) up to speed on what may or may not be tolerable. My main co-conspirator is the puppet master. The mayor of softball, if you will. Everything ends up coming through him, and then through me by association. We don't start this stuff. We obtain it, process it, and a lot of times just mark it classified and send it to Hillary's email account for later.
Helping run things is a freakin' grind, but we do it because we want the coaches to be free to coach. Knowing some of this stuff is very beneficial. You find out things about people who are putting on one persona but living another. There are some snakes, but I do my best to be cool with everyone, and if someone trusts you they'll give you that info and know you'll put it to the proper use without diming them out. We've caught onto some potentially hairy situations a few times and managed to help head off some blowups before they happen.
For the most part, the parents at all levels locally are pretty great, and in the end, we want a functioning team where everyone is having fun and every kid and parent is happy. We've had almost no real blowups as a result. Even the difficult parents still want the kids to have fun--they just want to feel like their own kid is being treated like they "deserve," and for the most part we can find a way to do that without sacrificing elsewhere. We try our best to make all of this happen. And really, it's what OP is doing now. Taking info, seeking advice, and trying to help the coach for the good of the team.
- Jun 8, 2016
- 16,118
- 113
If anybody gets to stay home it is going to be me..
The middle one has baseball tournaments though, and that will be happening more often as he gets older if he keeps playing, so divide and conquer will be required. The youngest is only 4 so by the time it is tournament time for him (if he plays) DD will likely be in college.
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Hotel / Team Activities - personal driven choice. If coach makes them mandatory, then you decide if that is a fit for you and your family. Ultimately, attend or not attend based on what you prefer. DD's team has a mix of great families. We are really lucky. Some hang out, some don't. No one worries about it. There is usually one "team dinner" for over-night tournaments. And 10/10 times it's pizza at the hotel. Everyone chips in and it makes it cheaper than going somewhere. Parents that want a few adult pops have them. Those that want to hang out after dinner do and those that don't go to their room. No big deal. ALL players are asked to be in their rooms by a decent hour (appropriate to next days start time). Everyone behaves. But (and this will transition to my point below), the coach has established this culture for the team over the past 3-4 years. The expectation is that, both kids and adults, conduct themselves respectfully and abide by team rules (spoken or unspoken). The HC is awesome, but old school. He runs the team like a business and doesn't have patience for anyone who undermines that.
Lying/Rumors - No place on the team for it. And needs to be addressed by the HC. Again, this is a culture thing. The coach either sets the tone or it will continue to become a larger issue. If the HC has a daughter on the team, he/she likely already knows about it. If not, it needs to be brought up constructively and in a "team first" theme to start.
Lying/Rumors - No place on the team for it. And needs to be addressed by the HC. Again, this is a culture thing. The coach either sets the tone or it will continue to become a larger issue. If the HC has a daughter on the team, he/she likely already knows about it. If not, it needs to be brought up constructively and in a "team first" theme to start.
