When Told You're Not Good Enough ...

[Papa Thor]

Looking at the thread entitled "Tryout - Didn't Make It?", it got me to thinking about all the young ladies that either didn't make a team at tryouts or made the team but were told by their coaches they weren't good enough. I thought for those of you (and parents) in those positions that I'd share a little about my daughter's path from being told she wasn't good enough to winning the high school state title, pitching in the Pac-10 (2006 Pac-10 Pitcher of the Year), college world series, and, now, one of the top professional pitchers in the NPF along with Cat Osterman, Monica Abbott, and Danielle Lawrie (see Kristina Thorson). More importantly, I'm sharing her thoughts below in a letter she wrote a couple years ago.

There were two things that I could point out that were somewhat unique about my daughter. First, Kristina had a vision of where she wanted to go with softball by about the 8th grade. It wasn't just idle daydreaming; I believe she could literally see herself pitching at a major university and in the WCWS (women's college world series) and that vision just got stronger over time. Second was her work ethic. Nothing got in the way of her striving to be the best. An hour and a half to two hour pitching sessions were the norm (I'm not recommending this for most), often times evenings when her friends were out socializing and weekend mornings when her friends were still in bed. She worked, and still does, as hard as anyone to be the best she can be.

As a pitcher, she was always one of the smaller girls in the circle and is to this day. But, at 5'7", most other pictures tower over her or have a good 30 pounds more weight with which to hurl that ball. She learned early that she wasn't going throw fast relative to others (lower 60's) so learned that she needed to be better with location, movement, and change of speed than everyone else. That has served her well to this day.

When you're told that you're not good enough, please take the following to heart. If you really, REALLY want to play this great game, learn from my daughter that those challenges, those coaches that try to knock you down, should only make your commitment stronger to prove to them, and yourself, that you can achieve whatever you truly set your mind to do.

Good luck.

By Kristina Thorson, Chicago Bandits
NPF Association
May 8, 2009

It was Marriane Williamson who first said, “Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” That being said, each and everyone one of us has what it takes to live out our dreams.

I started playing softball when I was 8 years old in the North King County Little League, based just outside of Seattle, WA. At my first practice ever, my coach had everyone try out for pitcher. Turned out, I was the only one on my team who could consistently get the ball over the plate. Year after year in the NKCLL coaches put me in the pitching circle. I played in the NKCLL through 8th grade, and decided at that point to play only on ASA summer teams.

In little league everyone knew me as being “the pitcher.” When I started playing summer ball in 7th grade, I became known as the little one. I’d always been the smallest person on my teams, even in little league, but it had never mattered. As soon as I started playing summer ball, however, that was a different story.

On my first summer team, the Cobra Maddness, my coaches let me throw 2 innings all summer. That was a tough transition for me coming from being “the pitcher” in my little league. Looking back, I don’t know if it was because I was not as good as our other pitchers, if it was because I was so small compared to our other pitchers, or maybe I just didn’t throw hard enough.

It was the same story for me in eighth grade. I was smaller than our other pitchers, didn’t throw as hard, and both of the coaches were their dads. At this point I was introduced to Jim, who would become my pitching coach. The first time I met Jim, he asked me what my ultimate goal with softball was. I told him that I wanted to play for Stanford. His response was that I would be lucky if I got two or three letters from D2 schools.

A year later, my freshman year in high school, I played volleyball and soccer in the fall. So, for three months I didn’t really get to pitch. When I started up with Jim again in December, he told me that I “stunk worse than skunk poop.” At that point I knew that I needed to make a better commitment to pitching if I wanted to achieve my goal.

But my newfound commitment didn’t pay off for my summer team that year.

Or the year after.

Or the year after that.

I didn’t become an ace on a summer team until my senior year. And I never played on an 18 Gold team.

But you know what? If I hadn’t been told that I couldn’t achieve my goals, or that I didn’t have what it took, or that I was too small, didn’t throw hard enough, etc., I don’t think I’d be where I am today, let alone the person that I am today.

Even after everything I’ve accomplished, I know that nothing is guaranteed. I know that nothing will be handed to me just because of my history or who I am; everything has to be earned time and time again.

When someone tells you that you can’t achieve your goal for whatever reason, look at them and just think to yourself, “Just you watch. I am going to achieve my goal.” Don’t let anyone steal your dreams. They are yours, and everyone has the ability to make those dreams reality.

 

[joemcq51]

Great post!!!

 

[SoCalSoftballdad]

Thanks for the post. Girls-Softball.com has a great 4-part interview with Kristina as well:

Girls Fastpitch Softball: Thor, The Viking Bandit - part 1

"I lived and breathed by the quote, 'Champions do uncommon things, things that are boring and tedious to others.'"

 

[starsnuffer]

Great post!

I admire Kristina Thorson not only because she is an awesome pitcher, but because she didn't loose sight of who she is and managed to keep a very unique personality amongst a plethora of "good little softball robots" along the way to becoming great.

-W

 

[EP Dad]

Thank you. That post means a lot to me being one of those dads with one of those daughters that's been told "no" and "never" too much for a 12 year old.

Great post.

 

[softballphreak]

Well, I guess this has at least a little to say about coaches being straight up with their criticism. Had the coach sugar-coated it she may have not tried as hard.

Congratulations to Kristina for taking responsibility. She worked for what she has. That's the lesson to be learned!

 

[3sDad]

Good Stuff!...

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

Thor, thank you for posting some background and your daughters letter.

Very good post indeed!

 

[SoftSocDad]

Post Of The Year

 

[howellhandmade]

As the father of a pitcher who is coming from one summer of rec ball trying out U12 against girls who have played travel ball for a couple of years, I'm printing this one out. She's played soccer and basketball, but earlier this summer she said that she's decided that softball is her sport and she wants to play in college. She's tried out for five teams now, and the one team that said "there's no reason she shouldn't make the team" hasn't called back. She has pitched every day since the spring season started, has refused to take any time off because tryouts were coming up, has worked hard on hitting and fielding, and is struggling right now to get over the gap between having done her best and earning an opportunity to play at the higher level.