There's No Crying in Baseball

[Amy in AZ.]

^ That is great, Coogan's. I just thought it was important to point out that young boys cry, too.

 

[Eric F]

Kids naturally don't care about winning/losing, failing or succeeding...They have short memories.

This has not been my experience with 8U and 10U girls. Some of them care a great deal, and remember for a long time.

 

[CoachChristine]

Kids naturally don't care about winning/losing, failing or succeeding. They are good learners, they like to try new ways of doing things. They have short memories.

So I state it again, they get the pressure, coddling, attitudes from their parents, teachers, tv, coaches, and adults.

I disagree with this generalization. Dd is naturally competitive, she was born this way. At 4 years old in tee ball, she would cry if she missed her three pitches and had to hit off the tee. At five, she cried in basketball when it was her turn to sit on the bench for a quarter because she didn't want to take a break. Her oldest brother doesn't have a competitive bone in his body and didnt play sports for long. Her other brother is highly competitive, but nowhere near as crazy as she is. She's competitive about Accelerated Reader points at school, about Christmas party games, etc. This wasn't taught behavior at all and she cares about winning at things I absolutely do not care about. They may be rare, but there are some people who are born caring about winning.

 

[Eric F]

OLIF - You're discounting the unique wiring of each child. I've seen it time and time again for myself, and talked about it many times with other patents - two kids (or more), of similar age, raised in the same house, by the same people, may have drastically different reactions to the same situation. If it's an environmental (learned behavior) issue, as you appear to be contending, the behaviors would be much more consistent for these kids. Environment can certainly have some impact on behavior, but it isn't the sole determining factor.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

I've known kids raised by parents who are borderline psychotic about winning who won't give 50% effort in an elimination game.

I've also seen kids who were raised by complete hippies to be incredibly passive fling themselves head-first into a wall in order to catch a foul ball and then hang onto the ball, despite the concussion they just received while catching it. I've even seen the same kid get up and try to make a play on a runner who strayed too far off base after the catch but she fell back down due to the head injury.

Nature vs. nurture is an old argument that has really never been settled. It can't be settled because both matter. Some kids are born competitive, some aren't. Some are made competitive by their upbringing, some are not.

 

[Classof2020]

Kids naturally don't care about winning/losing, failing or succeeding. They are good learners, they like to try new ways of doing things. They have short memories.

So I state it again, they get the pressure, coddling, attitudes from their parents, teachers, tv, coaches, and adults. I have been to tons of games, played myself, and watched my own kids. If you don't tolerate it, it goes away. I am not saying that you can't cry ever, but there should be little if none. And yes, boys are crying more than ever.

Perhaps the issue is the parents are often out on the field with the kids or standing right there at every practice. I am shocked that the parents at our seminars have just left the kids with us (and often do so at games), but perhaps that is why they don't cry.

I really try to avoid ever getting in debates with OILF but I just have to highly disagree with this. This sounds like something coming from someone who has never been a parent. Or has only kid - so I was surprised to see the comment about watching your own kids. When you have parented more than one child (we have 3) then you see that multiple kids with the same upbringing can be completely different. You can NOT make this sort of generalization. And many times what you see at 18 months you still see at some level at 13 years old. The emotional kids are still emotional - over winning or losing. And the stoic ones stay generally stoic. You can only parent/coach away so much of their natural temperament. And why in the world would they be crying at a camp?? I would hope to heck that I never picked up my kid from a camp and they were crying - that is a far cry from a play-off game to a 10 year old kid.

 

[CoachChristine]

Did someone correct her? Do the adults she sees act that way? Did someone say if you don't stop acting like that, you won't be playing anymore? Kids are mirrors of the adults and what the adults around them allow. Did she or other kids see how Tiger acts or some other athlete with anger issues? Does it result in some reward for the kid, like attention or not having to control themselves but still getting to play? You don't get tantrums, and crying is a tantrum.

That has nothing to do with being competitive, it has to do with the attitude about losing. Back in the day , there were like 100 kids around and you were lucky if anyone noticed. If you could not handle being beat at something by somebody, you would not survive long. Same as out in the world. So start teaching em.

She's the last one of three and the only one who acts that way, so it's not the parenting. It's how she's wired. I've been parenting for 26 years now with three very different children, so I have some clue as to what I'm doing on some days. I was going to type out a response addressing the parental superiority you are trying to put across, but as others have posted in numerous other threads, it's pointless to try to argue with you.

 

[Eric F]

I've been parenting for 26 years now ...so I have some clue as to what I'm doing on some days.

I LOL'd. For real.

 

[JJsqueeze]

I nominate the kids don't care about winning post as a top ten OILF post....right up there with her post about how she likes to hang out with college girls to like you know stay current on music and boys and clothes and stuff...and like it is totally rad to hang out at the mall with them.

 

[Doug Romrell]

I've been parenting for 26 years now with three very different children, so I have some clue as to what I'm doing on some days.

In my mind I've been parenting for 30 years (four kids), but now with this youngest one (16), I've decided I don't have a damned clue what I'm doing, and I don't think I ever did! Today I'm thinking I should just tell her she's free to come and go as she wants with no curfew or other restrictions. And I thought my first three were difficult !!!!