The big question--What makes parent so fruity when it comes to softball?

[amanda_cake]

Just to chime in and say that I definitely think parents get crazy when it comes to their children because of the fact they are living vicariously through them. They want them to do well so they can relish in the moments.

 

[Jojo]

For clarity: FRUITY = CRAZY. CRAZY, as in "mad, insane, or erratic"

Is it:

(1) A general lack of understanding of sports.
Hey they've seen it on TV, they know!
(2) A lack of understanding softball specifically.
Parent drops off kid, sits in the car, no glove, no ball --have they ever even seen a softball game?
(3) The general decline in intelligence of Americans.
I think of this as general apathy to everything that doesn't concern them.
(4) A "sense of entitlement".
I see this everyday-- BIG pet peeve of mine!
(5) Unrealistic evaluation of their DD's talent
I love it when a parent is proud of their player, as long as it doesn't affect other players. Sit there and be proud, don't ask for more time or a better position at the cost of someone that is actually working harder.
(6) Something innate about the game (i.e., if a child plays softball, the parents' IQs are immediately lowered 25 points).
I thought everyone's IQ where lowered when they had kids?

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[absdad]

Most households are now "child centered" versus what I grew up with," adult centered". With so much attention placed on the kids, the stakes are raised for their achievements. I'm old (51),so my experience as a child was either being dropped off or I walked to practices and games.When I got home, my mother didn't think to ask . My father was interested, but terribly so. Neither of my parents would have ever thought to ask a coach about playing time. If I were to complain about something being unfair, you guessed it, I'd hear , " Son, life isn't fair". Today's parents are so completely involved in their child's life, they don't know how to let their kids battle for themselves.

Alexander, you are spot on. Good post.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

I played ASA ball from 1964 to 1978 and I can count on one hand the number of times my parents were at a game. It just didn't cross our minds that the parents should be there. In fact, we didn't really want them there.

Fast forward, to the family that I just raised and I didn't feel safe leaving them for one minute. If you don't go to your kid's games, you are looked down upon. Even if the other parents have no idea why you aren't there.

Some of the worst softball parents that I have seen are the ones that never made the team in HS, and I cringe when some of them begin coaching.

No, I haven't been around select soccer. That would drive me nuts.

 

[mad hornet]

I've been fortunate so far not to have too many parent issues. As we coaches say, when you try out a player, you are also trying out the parents. I know that players with inferior skills are sometimes chosen over superior players simply because of the parents.

That being said, softball isn't unique. It isn't just people's valuation of their kids that can be out of whack either. In employment, I have seen people who can't do anything right but think they are perfect. At my old company, part of the employee review process was that employees had to first evaluate themselves and return it to them employer. I had a guy give himself the highest possible rating in every category and summed it up with the remark "it doesn't get any better than me". I knew then it was going to be a rough discussion.

Not to get too far off topic, but I got a resume from a guy and on the first line it had his birthdate and beside it the remark "popped out of mom and hit the ground running". Seriously, I can't make this up.

 

[Dragoncoach]

Now adays parents are so overprotective (im guilty) that kids grow up insecure in their own abilities. expl. get down from that tree your fall, when I was a kid we always played in the woods,creeks, hills, up in trees, or wherever .we only came home for dinner then right back out. The best parenting book Ive ever read "last child in the woods" talks about how the video games and lack of outdoor unstructered activites affects them. It also talks about how schools have been takn away recess time and that studies show more recess=higher map scores and less adhd.

 

[rowdy]

It seems like politics has completely mutated the concept of working hard to earn a place in society. This also true in sports. My daughter plays basketball and you see it there, she is a very talented softball player and you see it there too. All we can do as coaches is communicate with our parents and get them to underestand out thought process. If they get too bad you have no choice but to sacrifice the player because of the parent. But in the end the ups certainly outweigh the downs.

 

[Coach JV]

I like to 'out' the crazies but in nice way. I explain to the kids that it is her parents'
voices that she hears above all else including the coach's. i.e. When we send her on a steal or a hit/run
and that play blows up in my face, I too hear the dad, "how come you ran into an out?"
At our postgame meeting, within earshot of 'crazies' I commend the player for following
the designed play, and explain that coaching is to blame. We cannot change the fact that parents live
vicariously thru DD, we can only adapt..........the adaptation of species-where is Darwin when we need him?

 

[SnocatzDad]

I don't see Softball as specifically worse than any other sports for parent behaviour. A month ago we had an angry parent get arrested at a 6th grade travel basketball tourney. They were upset with how the clock was managed (youth volunteer not affiliated with either team) at the end of the game and was on the way to yip at the kid working the clock. The travel director stepped in said calm down or I'm calling 911 and the parent knocked the phone out of the hand and cold cocked the TD a small riot ensued.

I think unfortunately, officials control the masses. They shouldn't have to, but they do, and in softball they do a better than average job of keeping a lid on behavior. I went to my first youth hockey game with friends families ( this was 12 yr old "A" Hockey ). A penalty on was called on our team (small arena everyone can hear everything) and a parent yells out"Hey Ref should we just leave now??" which was a little funny, but before the end of the first period it devolved into parents yelling expletives at the refs and eventually incurring a bench penalty. I turned to my good friend who was also yelling and asked him if he wanted his son to focus on disrespecting the refs or playing hockey, and he said playing hockey. I then asked him how his son was supposed to let a call go when he can hear that Dad can't let it go. After a few "Yeah, but..." he looked at me and said "I hate it that your right" and i was pretty proud of him because he then stood up and talked down the other parents who were yelling at the refs.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Many of the out of control parents that I see, are showing up at the games lit up on something or drinking out of the red cup.


Some stay at home mom's are the worst or the dad that drinks his lunch.